Empyrean Iris Story Collection Vol. 2

Combat

To the: Intergalactic Journal of Medical Biology

Humanity is a young species around 204,000 years old in their current modern iteration. While there have been many types of humanoid animals on their planet, The Homo Sapien Sapien as they are known scientifically and the only sub-type of human that remain having about .6% genetic variation between them despite their range of color, height, and shape which has been openly observed by all nonhuman species.

In comparison to the Vurl or the rundi, humanity is a relatively young species still containing many of their more animalistic tendencies in comparison to species who have had more time to evolve into their sentient states. For this reason the examination of this paper revolves around human aggression, and defence. In many animals we see behaviors designed to defend or attack, either out of fear, protection or in order to impress a mate. Humans, being a sentient species use many different techniques to deal with this issue, but one of the techniques that might be considered most primitive, is their contact fighting.

Like how tall horns headbutt each other and longwings lock talons, humans have developed the ability to use their body as a weapon to the detriment of other humans. This practice has likely existed since the beginning of humanity, though through the years, and as humanity evolved, their refined and discovered different ways of – as to use a human expression– "Beat the shit ouf of each other.."

In more recent years this primitive form of agress, though still used to its intended purpose, has been made into a sport.

In other words humans hit each other for fun and they let other watch.

Some of these techniques include.

The slap- One of the oldest forms of human aggression which involves striking someone, across the face usually, with an open palm.

The punch- Similar to the first bud done with a closed fists, often puts the bones of the hands at risk, but puts more power into a smaller space, when the hips and legs are used through kinetic linking, the entire power of the body can come out through the hand.

The gouge- Humans do not have claws, but with the hand open and fingers slightly bent, they can use the hard keratin at the end of their fingers to inflict scratches and gouges on an opponent

The kick- as if hitting people with your arms wasn't enough, now they have to hit people with their feet and shins. On a side note some humans punch and kick wooden poles to make their bones stronger! Yes then INTENTIONALLY inflict pain on themselves, causing MICRO FRACTURES in their own bones just so they can hit people HARDER.

The elbow - jamming the bony junction of their arm into other peoples faces, as it seems there is a location on the elbow without nerve endings, and so does not cause so much pain to the hitter but concentrates the weight on the end of a very strong bone.

The knee- similar to the elbow but with the junction of the leg. Usually aimed towards the upper abdomen, where the liver is located, because your opponents internal organs be damned.

These are the simple basics of human combat, those things that all humans have ingrained into them as instinct, however of course over time humans have developed more painful ways of hurting each other

The round kick- like kicking but with the extra step of spinning around really fast to gain momentum, is usually aimed at the face, because using your foot to hit someone in the face after spinning is SOOOO LoGiCaL

The choke - can be done in many ways, but the general principles is if your opponent can't breathe, than they cant win, bonus points if you crush their windpipe in the process because whoo hoo for murder.

The blood choke- its like choking accept the general principal is if no blood is going to your brain than you can't live, so just squish the carotid arteries a little bit, not like they need those anyway

The figure 4 choke - Choking someone like a blood choke but with your thighs because why the hell not

The Americana lock- They will submit if you screw up their joints especially the shoulder and the elbow because who the hall needs those.

An armbar - just lay your feet over their chest, grab their arm and put the elbow over your pelvis, now when you arch your back your can break their elbow joint backwards. So effective that your opponent will probably quite and give up screaming before you manage to actually do anything.

Body slam- yeah throwing your opponent to the floor violently and then falling on top of them might just work to make them regret knowing you.

Pile Driver, kind of like a body slam, accept you also use your elbow. Do you hate someone in particular? Do they need their ribcage cracked open like an egg? This might just be the technique for you

Man of these techniques are used in combat sports, some of them for more theatrical use, but the principle remains the same. Now there are a few techniques that are generally prohibited rom fighting sports.

Head butting - why the HELL would you even think of this. Yeah I'll just hit my head against their head that ShOuLdN't hURt at ALl. Should work just PERFECTLY

Groin Kick - the human imperative to survive is so aggressive that a single kick to their reproductive organs can send them into full shutdown mode, and this includes breathing problems, potential vomiting and crying like a baby

Biting - Here have all of my transmissible diseases, that should make you regret your entire life. I hope your arm gets infected and falls off

Eye gouging - can fight me IF YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR EYES

Curb Stomp - Just set someone's chin up on a curb and then KICK THEM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD.

WHAT KIND OF MONSTERS ARE YOU PEOPLE! My list Isn't even finished!

MY LIST

ISN'T

EVEN

FINISHED!

Why does humanity have to be so scary HHHHHRRRAAAGGGGG!

From the editing department at the: Intergalactic journal of medical biology

Dr. Krill,

We regret to inform you that your scholarly paper has been rejected for improper scholarly vocabulary, neglect to operationally define non-common language, use of onomatopoeia, and WhAtEvEr ThIs Is. Please review your submission and resubmit it to our review team. We appreciate your dedication to science.

Sincerely,

The Review Team.