Being Dead Sucks (OumaSai/SaiOuma) -Being Edited-

30

FSHFAHFS FaslkFASJKFGA IM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO UPDATE HHAHSFHASKFASYIUF OML YOU PROBABLY THOUGHT I WAS DEAD IM SO SORRY  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BUT ANYWAYS HAVE A CHAPTER ALSHFklHFLSDHFLKASHKFAHSGSKUFH-

Kokichi took a sip of the Panta Shuichi bought from the convenience store, sniffing quietly. After a long duration of being unable to stop himself from crying he had finally calmed himself down, at least to a degree. He still felt terrible, and it didn't help that he was beating himself up internally about being so sensitive in front of Shuichi.

They were sitting together on the couch silently, Kokichi wrapped up in a blanket. He wanted so badly to rest his head on his shoulder, get a hug from him, hold his hand, something, but he couldn't bring himself to ask for or initiate any contact. He couldn't help but think that he wasn't even supposed to be there. I hurt him. He doesn't forgive me. There's no way he does. He deadpanned internally.

"Kokichi....?" Shuichi mumbled his name softly. "Hm." He replied briefly, only using enough of his voice to let Shuichi know he had heard him. If he tried to talk, he would only produce words he wasn't proud of, and he didn't want his beloved to waste his ears and mind on that.

"Are you okay?" He muttered, looking over at the boy. No, not really. He didn't look back.

"You're so overbearing, Shuichi. I'm perfectly fine!" He replied. He produced yet another one of his false smiles, trying to brush off the conversation. Shuichi didn't believe it for a second.

"Hey... I'm here for you no matter what, and if you don't want to talk, that's alright too." Kokichi gently shifted away from him, looking up and at his face blankly. I probably look so miserable and pathetic right now... eh, what does it matter?

"Do you really care about me? Don't even try to lie. Liars know liars." He asked, his voice completely flat and devoid of life.

"Of course I do." He replied immediately, without a single second of hesitation. Kokichi didn't detect a trace of a lie in his voice or his face, and Shuichi was incredibly easy to read. He concluded that he must have been telling the truth, or at least he hoped desperately.

"I'm sorry." he mumbled for the thousandth time that night, his eyes dropping down to his hands, anxiously laced together. "What I did was stupid."

"I forgive you." He responded. Those words sounded incredible. They felt incredible. It was hard to forgive himself, but hearing someone say that they did was a good start. "Hey, do you need, I mean, do you want...?" He held out his arms awkwardly. It was nice to know that some things never changed, including the boy he loved being an awkward mess.

He accepted the offer gratefully, melting into the hug and releasing a shaky breath. Sometimes, he just wanted Shuichi to wrap him up in a hug and never let go. The feeling of satisfaction and comfort he got from being in his arms was something he doubted anything could beat.

"There's actually something I've been meaning to ask you." Kokichi admitted. "Just a stupid question."

"Sure, go ahead." He prompted him.

"If we manage not to screw up the thing and I come back... what if you don't love me anymore?" He asked, quite bluntly. He didn't feel like trying to soften the blow.

"Wh-what?"

"I mean, she said it's gonna reverse all of the effects. So, what if it's like we never met? What if you forget me altogether?" He continued. Shuichi took in a breath, considering his question. He didn't want to lie to him, or try and give him a false answer. He knew that he would spot it right away. It was a hard question to come up with a response to.