Running

Chapter 20: Mrs Smith

Daniel POV:

V and I got the mysterious book or can I say the box. We set in my car for a while trying to figure out how to open it, but I still couldn't stop thinking about Vanessas mom. She told the boys we were going to visit her and to be honest now I want to. I moved before Mrs Smith passed away and I wasn't able to come to her Funeral either.

"Hey V, can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Yeah sure" she replied putting the box in her bag and looking at me.

"Can we- can we go see your mom?" I said almost whispering. Vanessa looked at me and I saw sadness and pain in her eyes. I move over and hugged her tight

"I'm sorry V I shouldnt have asked" I whispered to her.

"Let's go" she replied sobbing in my arms.

"We don't have to if you don't want to" I reassured.

"No Daniel, I've been avoiding that place since her funeral, I think its about time I go" she said. I switch the car on and drove to the Cemetery. When we got there, we parked, and Vanessa had a good look around. She started to cry silently remembering how painful that day had been.

Poor V, I feel bad for asking.

We opened the door and got out, Vanessa took and a deep breath and led the way. When we got there, I saw a big white headstone.

Diana Rose Smith

A loving daughter, wife and mother

May you rest is peace

1980-2016

I looked over at Vanessa a great sob escaped her, she covered her face with shaking hands. I reach over and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer to me trying to comfort her.

"It's okay V, let it all out" I whispered to her. We stayed in this position for what seemed an hour, but if it's for Vanessa, I'll stay for days. I'll do anything for her, when I moved, I felt as If I lost her and I won't make the same mistake again.

"She was always there for me you know; she would always know what to say when I felt down" she whispered and let go of me, she set down next to her moms grave, I sat beside her and held her hand tight.

"Since she was buried, I never visited, my dad and Emily would come every Saturday morning and I would always find a reason not to come, it's not because I didn't want to, it's because I just couldn't. Every time I see her name written anywhere it causes me so much pain" she said with tears of pain running down her cheeks.

"You know when I saw her lying on the floor in a pool of her own blood I froze." She said sobbing "I didnt know what to do, I couldn't even cry, I just stood there and watched her die right in front of me. I looked into her eyes and watched her soul leave her body" Tears raced down her cheeks "I remember the last thing she said to me Vanessa, protect her, and just like that she was gone and there was nothing I could do" A flood of tears gushed down her ashen cheeks.

"V, I don't know what to say, I can't imagine how you must be feeling, but I know that your mom is immensely proud of the strong young women you have become" I said not knowing what else to say to her.

"I'm not strong Danny, I act as if I'm but deep down I'm not. I act as if everything is fine but I'm so tired, you know" she added looking at me constantly sniffing like she was resisting tears.

"I'm just so tired of feeling this way, but I have to be strong for Em" she pointed out.

"V, I know feeling this way sucks, and you are trying to be there for Em, but it's okay not to be okay sometimes, it's okay to cry and scream and get all your anger and sadness out" I clarified.

"You're right Daniel, but I don't know how to. I've been putting Emily in front and worrying so much about her that I forgot about myself. I forgot how to express my feeling, I just feel so empty and angry at myself that I didn't do anything and I- I just watched her die and did absolutely nothing. SHE FUCKING DIED AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT" she yelled a great tremor overtook her.

"Vanessa, this isn't your fault, you can't blame yourself for what happened that day. You didn't know it was going to happen." I added.

"But I could- I could have done something" she said sobbing.

"You were 16 V, and you were in shock there is no way you could have done anything" I added not knowing what else to say.

"But still Daniel, I just stood there and watched my mother die" she partially yelled.

"To be honest, if that ever happened to me, I wouldn't know what to do either." I said taking a deep breath.

after a moment of silence I had to say something to make her feel better

"V, do you remember when we were younger and your mother would find an excuse for me to leave my house even when my parents grounded me, so we could go eat ice cream. She would make up the most random excuses ever, like there is a rat in the kitchen and I need Daniels help to catch it. Then we would get in the car and get ice cream" I said laughing a little remembering all the good days we both had with Mrs Smith

"Yeah, that was fun. And the day you broke your arm playing football, that was funny" she replied smiling.

"I know right" I added laughing along with her.

"Can I ask you something" she asked

"Anything"

"How do you do it?" she asked

"How do I do what?" I wondered

"How are you so strong? you act as if nothing ever happened" she said

I know she is talking about my father

"I'm not strong either Nessa, I also don't know how to express my feeling, ever since he left us I started to shut people out, I became depressed but I knew I had to be strong for my Mom and Noah, I knew I had to became the man of the house. but let me tell you something, its been 4 years since he left and acting as if nothing ever happens honestly hurts sometimes. it eats me inside but the only thing that keeps me going is seeing how happy they are without him" I said

"Thank you, Daniel" she said hugging me tight. We got up and V said goodbye to her mother and walked to the car and I followed behind her. The drive back home was quiet and slow.

"Burgers?" I asked. Vanessa looked at me with a huge smile on her face.

"I'll take that as a yes" I said laughing at her facial expression. I drive to our favourite burger place. We ate our burgers, laughing as we talked about dumb things we did when we were younger and then I drove Vanessa home

Author's note:

I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter, we learned a bit about Daniel's past and how he copes with the fact his father left.

keep reading to find out more. the next chapter will be out shortly.