LoT Phoenix 1

Chapter 111: Unpredictable Attitude

Even thought they had brought it on themselves, losing two sons in quick succession caused the Emperor great pain. He had aged noticeably.

Suddenly in the middle of winter the Dowager falls ill, casting a pall over the entire palace, as if the sky itself had fallen suffocating everyone beneath it. The Empress Dowager treats you like one of her own grandchildren, and you don't want to lose her. When the Imperial Physician tells you how serious her condition is, you take up quarters next door to the Palace of Compassion and Tranquility to attend to her.

Empress Dowager: [Coughing] ... Child, let the servants take care of it. There's no need to attend to everything yourself.

Xiu Ying: You have always praised me for the way I look after other people. Now I'm looking after you, you don't approve?

Empress Dowager: Of course I approve... but you are a County Lady, named by the Emperor himself...

Xiu Ying: But I think of you as my own grandmother... Here, drink your medicine. If I don't keep my eye on you, I worry you won't take it.

She looks at you, her eyes full of affection, and you feed her the medicine on a spoon until it is all gone.

Empress Dowager: [Coughing] I'll be good. Last time I had a cough I didn't take my medicine and now look at me. Ugh.

Xiu Ying: So! Listen to me next time!

Empress Dowager: This girl! Give her an inch and she takes a yard!

The Dowager points a trembling finger at you, and shakes her head, laughing. The matrons in the room come and stand beside you. The Dowager falls back onto her pillows, drained.

Queen Rong: The sound of laughter is a sure sign the County Lady and Dowager are together! The County Lady... is most attentive.

The thick curtain over the doorway is pulled aside and the Empress Rong steps inside, holding a little heater in her hands. She meets your eye first. She shifts her attention to the Dowager seamlessly and pays her respects.

Empress Dowager: This child has been looking after me. [Coughs] She lifts my spirits.

Queen Rong: I have many things to attend to and cannot attend you as often as I would like. Knowing the County Lady is here is also a great comfort to me.

Empress Dowager: You are mistress of the Emperor's house, of course you must be very busy. I am well-attended. There's a lot happening in the palace...

Queen Rong: New Year will be here soon. I was thinking to ask the County Lady to help me with the feast arrangements...

Empress Dowager: The palace is so busy these days. New Year celebrations are best kept simple. It shouldn't require too many people.

Queen Rong: [Looking at you briefly out of the corner of her eye and smiling] True.

Xiu Ying: (What's she up to? I'm lowly County Lady – why would she need my help to organize the feast? The Dowager didn't say one way or the other... could that mean she is okay with it?)

The Empress leaves the Palace of Compassion and Tranquility and steps into the waiting carriage.

Maid: The Dowager is very fond of Lady Yongqing. Your Majesty.

Queen Rong: [Smirking] What of it? She's a country bumpkin. Her very presence dishonors the Emperor's family.

INSPECTION

Dark clouds hang low over the palace, and snow gathers on the yellow roof tiles. The scene is serene, beautiful but also foreboding. As winter deepens, the Dowager's condition is worsening, despite the best efforts of the court Physicians. Today the Emperor hurries to the Palace of Compassion and Tranquility after his morning audience.

Emperor: Forgive me mother! I had no idea you were so ill! I was only just told.

Empress Dowager: Don't concern yourself, Your Majesty. I ordered them not to tell you. An Emperor must always put his people first. [coughing] My body is failing me. It must be endured, until the end. Yongqing has been keeping me company. She is making it easier.

Xiu Ying: You promised me you wouldn't go saying things like that!

Empress Dowager: Very well. I won't. Look at this stubborn girl! She refuses to leave me.

The Emperor turns his gaze towards you. Whenever he looked at you in the past, you always got a sense of his general affability, but these days there is skepticism there, even a hint of judgment.

Xiu Ying: (Ever since Mount Tianchi, the Emperor has been increasingly indifferent towards me... I wonder why.)

Emperor: County Lady, could you leave us? I must speak with my mother.

As you step out of the hall, doubt and misgivings fill your mind. Suddenly you feel eyes on you and you turn to see Fu Heng looking at you, his face quite somber.

Fu Heng: Why so forlorn?

Xiu Ying: [Smiling briefly] Oh, no reason... Fu Heng, is anything bothering the Emperor lately?

Fu Heng: Yes, there are a few things. If he speaks harshly to you, don't take it to heart. He's got a lot on his mind at the moment.

Fu Heng speaks kindly. He assumed your question meant the Emperor has spoken harshly to you.

Xiu Ying: (You wish the Emperor has spoken harshly to you. It would be better than this cold indifference, which makes you feel so confused and exposed.) I see! But what is it that is vexing him so?

Fu Heng: The founder of Western Liang died suddenly. His son and heir is still young and his ministers have endorsed Prince Jin as regent. Prince Jin is an ambitious and brutal man. If he kills the heir and seizes the throne, neighboring kingdoms such as our own could be in danger. That's what bothering the Emperor.

Xiu Ying: I see. The Dowager is sick and Prince Jin is causing trouble over the border. No wonder the Emperor is in a bad mood.

Maybe you're overthinking things. You're reading too much into your recent interactions with the Emperor. The thought gives you some comfort.

Fu Heng: [Watching you carefully] You spend a lot of time caring for others. Don't forget to look after yourself.

Xiu Ying: Of course! You know I always think of myself first!

Fu Heng: You call that dressing for the weather?

Xiu Ying: You've changed, Fu Heng.

Fu Heng: Uh? What did you say?

Xiu Ying: [Sighing faintly] I think I prefer the cold, indifferent you, not this new, motherly version.

Fu Heng: You don't like it when people care for you?

Xiu Ying: [Whispering] Of course not... Who doesn't like being cared for?

You look downcast. Fu Heng smiles gently and is about to speak again when the door suddenly swings open. He swallows whatever he was about to say. The Emperor walks out of the hall. His eyes sweep over you both. That hard judgement is still there, which makes your heart beat faster.

Emperor: The Dowager is well-attended. You may leave her, County Lady.

Xiu Ying: I don't really do that much for her Your Majesty. I just keep her company and try to lift her spirits.

Emperor: Return to your own quarters... The Dowager enjoys your company. You can visit her often.

To your surprise the Emperor orders you to leave the Palace of Compassion and Tranquility. It shows on your face, and the doubts beset you earlier reappear. You have no choice but to comply.

Xiu Ying: As you command, Your Majesty.

The Emperor withdraws his gaze from you and strides off into the palace. Fu Heng also senses the Emperor's change in attitude to you, and casts you a consoling look, before following in his footsteps. It makes you feel slightly better.

Xiu Ying: (Have I done something wrong? Or maybe... someone is playing games behind my back?)