LoT Phoenix 1

Chapter 113: Reason For The Attitude

The cloud gong sounds. Sounds of grief-stricken sobbing echo through the plazas and halls of the palace. You kneel on the frozen grounds, tears running freely down your face. Pain radiates out from the pit of your stomach. You dispel all thought, afraid you will think of the Dowager's kindly face, unleashing another wave of grief. Suddenly someone grabs your arm. You look up through your tears. It is Yin Zhen. His face is contorted by worry.

Yin Zhen: Come with me.

You are completely inconsolable. You feel weak and he pulls you onto your feet and towards your old quarters next to the Palace of Compassion and Tranquility.

Yin Zhen: Shi Lian says you haven't eaten properly in days. Here... you've got to eat.

The table is already laid with plates of steaming hot food. You're very hungry, but you have absolutely no appetite.

Xiu Ying: [Shaking head] Not hungry.

You turn to walk out, but Yin Zhen tightens his grip on your arm and turns you to face him. He places his hands on your shoulders and looks gravely into your eyes.

Yin Zhen: I can't tell you how many people want you dead... but if you don't care one way or the other, I will wash my hands of you.

You make no reply. Your face remains impassive, oblivious to his hands that are resting there on your shoulders.

Yin Zhen: [Indifferently] Do you know why the Dowager used her last strength to speak to you?

Hearing her title stirs from your darkness momentarily.

Yin Zhen: She did it to show them you have her protection and they cannot move against you without consequence. And by them I mean the Emperor and Empress Rong.

In that moment their leering faces flash through your mind. Your stomach lurches.

Xiu Ying: [Hoarsely] The Emperor? Wants me dead? WHY?

The change in his demeanor had filled you will doubt, but you never for a moment imagined he now entertained the idea of killing you.

Yin Zhen: I know it is hard to understand, after all the Emperor bestowed many favors on you, and made you a County Lady... but the Emperor's heart is becoming harder and harder to fathom. [Sighing] Do you remember why I suggested we go to Mount Tianchi to pray for the kingdom?

Xiu Ying: It was because Imperial Astrologers notice an aberration in the stars – a possible bad omen. The Emperor was very worried. That's why you suggested the journey to Mount Tianchi.

Yin Zhen: [Intently] That's right, for at that time I had also learned that the bad omen of which the astrologer spoke... was in fact you.

Xiu Ying: Nonsense!

Yin Zhen: I know, it sounds totally ridiculous. But given the Empress was stirring the pot, I can only surmise that she was the one behind the inauspicious prediction in the first place.

Xiu Ying: So you proposed the ceremony for MY SAKE?

Yin Zhen: The Emperor was still undecided, and I feared the Empress would make another move against you, so I suggested the ceremony. I hoped it would lift the cloud of suspicion hanging over you. When the Emperor agreed to let you go, I knew I was onto something. Who could have known an ambush awaited us at Tianchi...

Xiu Ying: The attack at Tianchi just confirmed the Emperor's suspicion that I was a bad omen. That's why he treats me so coldly now. No wonder he found excuses to keep me away from the Dowager... Perhaps he thought I was the cause of her decline...

Yin Zhen: When we got back from Tianchi, a rumors started that gods were displeased with the offerings at Tianchi. I traced the rumor back to the Empress' people... Everything that has transpired can be traced back to her door. You're not going to blame yourself for what happened to the Dowager are you?

Xiu Ying: She protected me to the very last. Why would I blame myself? She wouldn't abide it.

Yin Zhen: Good. That's for the best. I don't know the whole story, but I do know the Dowager's fondness for you forestalled the Emperor's hand.

You tried searching for words, but none came. Big tears well up in your eyes, run down your face and fall off your chin. Love kindles deep in Yin Zhen's eyes. He reaches out a hand to wipe away your tears. The gesture is clumsy, but very gentle.

Xiu Ying: [After a long silence] Thank you... for everything.

Yin Zhen: Don't mention it... I'm just glad you don't suspect me anymore.

You sniffle and are about to apologize for suspecting him, but Yin Zhen slowly shakes his head.

Yin Zhen: It's okay, you don't have to apologize. But you do need to understand that the Dowager's protection won't last forever.

Yin Zhen: The Emperor won't lay a finger on you for three years, out of respect for his mother, but once the official mourning period is over, you need to understand where you stand.

Yin Zhen is right. The Dowager's death changes everything.

Xiu Ying: I know. I'm not going to give up.

Yin Zhen: As long as you know. And stop doubting me. Do you hear me?

Yesterday you would have mocked him, but today you feel very vulnerable and bite back your retort.

Xiu Ying: Okay. Agreed.

Yin Zhen: And since you're being so agreeable, go and eat! I've got to go out... Don't worry, I'm still on your side.

You watch him leave and then sit down at the table. You have no appetite whatsoever, but you tried your best. As you eat you think about your next step. It doesn't really matter what the astrologer said, or if there was someone behind it. All that matters now is that the Emperor thinks you are a bad omen. Your first priority is to get the target off your back.