Bungo Stray Dogs Oneshots

Dazai Osamu|Noise Canceling Headphones|

AN
I love this man, istg
This is more of a comfort fic as I have described myself in it.. but its gender neutral, so everyone can enjoy!
Anyways, onto the story~

He laid his head on her lap after a long day of work. Kunikida had managed to squeeze loads of work out of him, and had had him constantly at it for the entire day. Dazai sighed at the feeling of your long, slender fingers combing through his messy locks. He had missed your warmth so much.
He lived for such tender moments. His head on your lap, your fingers in his hair, dim lighting, comfortably chilly air breezing in through the window, and your soft humming of a song about summer and tranquility, is more than anything he ever needs, to be at peace.
His mind was finally silent, filled with nothing. It felt good to have nothing on his mind, for a change.
You were like noise canceling headphones for him. Always blocking out his own violent thoughts, but at the same time, keeping him entertained and happy with your tunes.
He hugged your waist like a little lost child, holding on for his life, almost as if he let go, he would loose himself. Maybe he actually would.
You were confident and strong, he knew that you could handle yourself very well on the battle field. This is why he wasn't afraid of being with you. He knows that you can handle all the obstacles thrown your way, a side effect of his criminal past. But when it comes to emotional stability, you were partly broken, just like him. Although, where your mind was shattered, his was unscathed, and where he was broken, you were strong as a pillar.
You two were perfect for each other, as you both knew the feelings of being broken inside, but were capable of pulling the other back to the surface whenever they fell off the edge.
He subconsciously smiled as he heard your humming slow down as the seconds passed by. You were, no doubt, very tired too. But you stayed upright just to keep him comfortable. You often did this, he realized. No matter how hard or uncomfortable something might be, if it helps soothe him, you would put your discomfort aside for him. You would cook his favourite food, even after a tiring day at work, and even though he is on cooking duty. You would cover him with your blanket during the cold nights, and would get up, half asleep, to find a spare one for yourself. You would always wait for him, whether it be physically or emotionally, to open up to you. You never forced him to do anything. You always went with the flow, even if it meant slowing down for him. You curbed your own desires for his happiness.
He took notice of these small yet enormously touching gestures, and tried his best to reciprocate them. But he couldn't compare his actions to your compassion. And it hurt him to accept that. It hurt him to know that you deserve so much more. But he knows you like the back of his palm. He knows that if he were to leave you, you would lose hope in love. You would feel hurt, lost and angry. He isn't saying this because he feels that you can't find someone like him, no, not at all. He's saying this because he knows how much love means to you, and how much of yourself you pour into a relationship. Because it a means so much to you. Leaving you would be stupid, as it would wound not only him, but also you. He wouldn't be able to handle you not being there for him. And you, would feel that nothing you do is enough. Which is so not true. Even your smile is enough to make his day. The way you tilt your head when you grin at him, the way your eyes shine with happiness, the way the mole at the corner of your mouth accentuates your dazzling smile, it all makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside. He can't live without you. He can't imagine a world where you were not by his side.
It then dawned on him. Almost like the feeling of attaining nirvana, it suddenly hit him. Like a fresh wave of the bright blue ocean had slapped him across the face. Like the moment when you realize that you're dreaming, and it all becomes clear. All the pieces suddenly fit together.
He chuckled. Ofcourse. He was in love with you. How could he have not known? How could he have been so blind? He loved you so much. But he was afraid of losing you. Even though you both practically lived together, you hadn't said the three words to each other. He knew that you loved him too, all your actions scream the fact. But what if he was wrong? What if you were this kind to every guy you have been with? What if he was no one special, but just another one of your flings? What if you say that you can't do this anymore? What if he confesses and scares you away? What if-
"Hey, what's wrong?"
Your soft voice snaps him out of his thoughts.
"You are breathing heavily, dear."
You cup his cheek.
"Is something the matter?"
Looking into your warm brown eyes, he realizes the genuine concern they hold. He was falling for you, over and over again.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?"
You smile warmly.
"Only if you want to, ofcourse."
He sits up and holds your hands in his larger ones.
You have been so patient, considerate and kind to him.
You deserve to know. You deserve to have an answer. You don't deserve to live in an unspoken, wavering and doubtful relationship. No. You deserve closure, and surety. He must confess. And now is the time. So he takes in a deep breath, and prepares himself to take the biggest step of his life.
He gently rubs his thumbs on your palm, the action helping him to remain composed.
Looking into your tired, curious, honey brown eyes he musters up the courage to finally say,
"Y/N, I love you.."