Bungo Stray Dogs Oneshots

I Love You?||Aku x gn!Reader

Prompt:

"Characters that have never experienced affection before, or haven't experienced it in a long time, finally getting to experience it? Top tier.

Said character freezing up for a second, not really knowing how to respond, but not wanting it to stop? T o p t i e r.

Said character trying to clumsily return the affection in their own way, because this is Good and they don't want it to stop? T O P T I E R."

"I suppose I'll leave now, senpai."
You said, a sad smile stretching your soft lips. Oh, how he had wished to feel them against his own, to run his thumbs across them. He had hoped to hug you, feel your form against his own, inhale in your scent until he is drunk on the warmth of your loving embrace. But he knew that was impossible, considering how he had no experience in love. He knew what it was, he had read books and mulled over the potential feelings multiple times in his head. He wouldn't admit it to Dazai san, but it was his strangely crooked but caring senpai who had first handed him a romance novel, that familiarised him with the ways of the heart. At the time, he had been so confused, not understanding the assignment being handed to him.
"It's just 100 pages long.", Dazai san had said, " No big feat. But it's enough to get you started."
And with that, his senior had given him a ghost of a smile, before striding off into the dark hallways of the mafia base.
Akutagawa had always struggled with emotions. Much like his senior, he had no experience in the ways of the heart. But the worn-out pages of the book, the ring of a coffee stain he had discovered on page 78, and the little dog ears at the corners of the novel made him question if Dazai had spent many nights reading the words printed on these pages, imagining and fantasizing about a lover. Maybe he felt all these emotions but just couldn't express himself. Just like himself. Akutagawa struggled to express himself. His sister understands him, for she was, in many ways, just like him. She won't say a word of affection but would slash the throat of anyone who threatens her loved ones, in a flash. He never had to worry about explaining his inner thoughts to her. But you were different. You couldn't read him like she could, be causing he never let you into his dark heart. He had always liked you. Ever since you joined the mafia and were made his junior, he had always found your tenacity admirable. He respected your determination. He knew about your background, and how you had only joined the mafia for the drool-worthy pay. You hated harming others. And yet, he never found you being late to a meeting or being lazy on a mission. You killed if you were asked to. You went home and cried, he could see it on your tired face the next day. But you never left a job incomplete. He really, truly admired you. The way your smile lit up the room, and the way his tummy did little summersaults when he heard your tinkling laughter, made him question his emotions regarding you. He soon realized that he liked you, maybe even loved you. But he was inexperienced in the affairs of the heart and had kept quiet. The only difference between him and Dazai was that although they never expressed their feelings, Akutagawa never dated anyone, while his senpai dated many, but never committed to anyone. Akutagawa hid his feelings and stayed away, while Dazai hid his feelings simply because he didn't feel, and made up lies to woo partners. But Akutagawa did feel. He felt for you what he had felt reading all those books he had secretly bought after finishing the novel handed to him. He felt the butterflies, the sudden thumps of his heart whenever you were near, he felt it all.
So where was he going wrong?
You had come knocking on his door at the late hours of the night. Your mission had gone terribly wrong, and although you got the job done, your skin was littered with cuts and bruises. It had made his blood boil, but he had wordlessly let you in and had patched you up with a straight face. Not a trace of any emotions.
You had sensed Akutagawa's lingering stares and thought maybe your senior liked you back. He was your only comfortable space in this wretched world. Scheming with him and planning missions with him felt relieving. Spending time with him was refreshing, no matter if the time being spent was being utilized to plan the murders of multiple people. It didn't matter to you. As long as you got to be with him, you were okay. But right now, as you stumbled into his apartment with deep wounds and low to zero energy left in your bones, you found his silence scary. His emotionless face worried you, and you wondered if he liked your presence at all. Were you simply being a big menace to him? Maybe all he cared about was work and didn't really care about you. The grim look on his face was only visual proof of the fact that he viewed you as just a co-worker. Nothing more.
"Thank you for this, and I apologize for the inconvenience."
You bowed and turned to gather your bloody cloak, preparing to leave.
Akutagawa furrowed his brows. You were too tired to go home.
"What are you doing?"
He asked suddenly, making you flinch.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to disturb you so late at night! I was just injured, and your flat was the closest, so I thought-"
"LARA, calm down."
He said, crossing his arms over his black turtleneck.
You stopped rambling and gulped anxiously.
"You can't go home now."
You blinked in confusion.
"Huh?"
"You're exhausted. Going to your place would be a lot of work, it's foolish to venture out now."
He wanted you to stay. He didn't want to let you go. He wanted to continue spending as much time as he could in your presence.
"Oh. But wouldn't it be an inconvenience-"
"No. I like your presence."
With that, he abruptly turned around, hiding his red face from your line of sight. He had blurted out something foolish, but if it made you stay, then it was okay, right?
"I-I'll get you some blankets."
He stormed off into his room and emerged minutes later with a new set of blankets and pillows.
"Here. You can sleep in the spare room."
He handed it to you and turned to leave. You placed them on the couch and launched yourself on him.
"What-"
Akutagawa found you clinging onto his back in a hug. He froze, not knowing what to do. He felt a certain kind of way, his face was heating up, and his tummy felt like an entire family of rats had decided to play tag all of a sudden.
"Thank you, senpai."
You pulled away, equally blushing, and looked down.
It was an impulse, and so you hugged your senpai. You were afraid of his reaction and anxiously awaited his scolding. Your senior was a very strict man, and he didn't tolerate any kind of misbehavior. You had heard about the kind of punishments he gave to his subordinates but were lucky enough to have never experienced any firsthand. Until now, that is. You prepared yourself for a hit, both mental and physical. Closing your eyes shut, you prepared for impact.
Only to be met with a chest on your face, and an awkward loop of long arms around your back.
"Y-you're welcome."
Your cheeks flushed at the unexpected hug, and your eyes widened. You eventually melted into the hug, and grinned, returning the hug with a ferocious tightening of your arms around his waist. You buried your nose into his chest and inhaled his warm scent, finding it comfortable. So he did like you back. Something about his arms around yours brought a sense of safety over you, and you loved it. As for the senpai, Akutagawa was on cloud nine. His brain was malfunctioning, and his neurons were firing, making him feel both elated and calm at the same time.
You both could stay like this for hours.