For better or For worse//Spencer Reid

Chapter 16

*Reid saw the news and heard about y/n and their baby and came to the hospital to check on them and to apologize but finds out bad news.*

Reid's POV:

I'm so stupid. How could I have let this happen? I'm so selfish. Y/n is going to hate me. It's all my fault and I know that. I do but I was in so much pain. My moms getting worse by the day and I felt like I wouldn't make a good father to my daughter and I thought I had no other option. I was so wrong. I should have stayed. I started taking Dilaudid a few weeks ago after I found out my mom is getting worse and I just haven't been acting right ever since. God, y/n was just worried about me last night and I yelled at her. I yelled. I never yell. I would have never yelled especially at her.
I wish I could fix this but I can't. I have to apologize when she wakes up but I have to also understand she's going to be very upset and angry with me.

Doctor: Spencer Reid?

Reid: yes ma'am?

Doctor: I'm doctor Allyson, I'm going to be your doctor until you leave.

Reid: Cool, do you know when y/n will wake up?

Doctor: I'm not her doctor so I don't know. After I check you out I'll send her doctor in here.

Reid: Okay.

Doctor: What pills or narcotics have you taken in the last 24-48 hours?

Reid: Dilaudid, Adderall, and Xanax.

Doctor: any alcohol?

Reid: a little.

Doctor: what was it?

Reid: vodka.

Doctor: I'll be right back with some meds to drain this stuff out your system completely. Have you urinated recently?

Reid: not since like 7 am.

Doctor: okay so this medication is going to make you urinate a lot to flush all this out. I'll send in y/n's doctor while I go and get it.

Reid: thank you.

—

Y/N's POV:

I'm waking up and I'm not sure where I am at yet.

Doctor: y/n, don't try to talk we have a tube down your throat.

That terrified me. I don't know where I'm at and there is a tube in my throat. I panic and burst into tears. My first thought is where is Spencer? I start to hyperventilate when I look around and can't see him.

Doctor: I'm doctor Grey, y/n you're okay. You're in the hospital. You have some friends here that'd like to see you. I'm going to take this tube out of your throat. Stay still.

I calm down for a moment so doctor Grey can take the tube out of my throat. I turn to the side and see Jj and Morgan.

Jj: hey, hey, it's okay y/n it's Jj and Morgan.

Morgan places his hand on my shoulder. I jump.

Morgan: sorry. *he moves his hand*

Y/n: no, put it back. I'm scared.

Morgan: I know y/n. It's okay now. You're safe.

Y/n: Where's Spencer? Have y'all found him.
I clearly sounded panicked because I was.

Jj: He's in another room. He came to check on you.

Y/n: just me! What about our- oh no.
I looked down at my stomach and saw I wasn't pregnant anymore.

Y/n: where's our baby?!

Morgan: I'll give y'all a minute.
*morgan steps out*

Jj: When Emily was helping you upstairs last night you were bleeding and leaking amniotic fluid really bad. When you got here they did an emergency c-section and put your baby in the nicu...she didn't make it. She was without for too long. I'm so sorry y/n.

I immediately burst back into tears. Jj quickly sits on the bed beside me and wraps her arms around me in a comforting hug.

Y/n: this is all Spencer's fault. If he wouldn't have taken off we wouldn't have lost our baby. He doesn't care about us.

Jj: hey, I know it looks that way but when Spencer found out he did the same things. He collapsed into himself in tears. He couldn't believe it. He knows what he did was wrong and selfish. He regrets it I promise.

Y/n: I'm sorry...is he okay?

Jj: he's fine they're just flushing everything in his system out. He's going to need you y/n.

Y/n: I want to see him. I want to see him now.

Jj: are you sure?

Y/n: yes. I need to see him. I need to feel his hug. Please see if you can get him.

Jj: okay I'll be back.

I was so angry at Spencer but I was more worried about him. I was 5 weeks away from delivering a beautiful baby girl but I was 5 seconds away from loosing Spencer. I needed to see him. I love Spencer with everything I have in me. I can't afford to ever loose him.

—

Y/n and Spencer were both in fragile states of mind. Spencer was more hurt than y/n over everything. He knew what he did and what he said was so wrong last night. Spencer knew he needed y/n in his life but he felt like he failed her so much and that it would be better if they broke up. He couldn't stand to drag someone down a dark hole that they don't deserve to go down and y/n didn't deserve this. She deserved so much better than this. He hates he did this to her.