For better or For worse//Spencer Reid

Chapter 17

*y/n has woken up from the medically induced coma and wants to see Spencer. Spencer feels as if it's best if him and y/n broke up. He is in a bad place and doesn't want to drag y/n down with him. *

Jj: Spence?

Reid: Jj...

Jj: y/n wants to see you.

Reid: she's mad isn't she?

Jj: not anymore. Spence, she was worried about you more than anything else in the world. You shouldn't have done that. I think you should go see her.

Reid: I know what I did was wrong Jj.

Jj: you don't need to tell me that, you need to tell y/n. She loves you more than anything else in this world. She wants to know that you're okay and that you're safe.

Reid: I feel like me and y/n should break up...
*reids voice cracked. He was crying*

Jj: What? Why?

Reid: I'm getting into a dark place. A really dark place and she doesn't deserve this. I may only get worse and I can't drag her down with me. I've caused enough damage last night.

*Jj reaches out and holds Reid's hand*

Jj: Spence, you can get help. We are all here for you, including y/n. She needs you. You can't leave her when she needs you most. It's going to be hard but love isn't meant to be easy. Do you love y/n?

Reid: of course I love y/n! That's why I want to break up. Because I love her too much to continue dragging her down this dark hole with me! With my life! My mom isn't her problem! She shouldn't have to go through this Jj!

Jj: If you love her you would go get better so that won't happen. I know you love y/n so much now, You're going to go in there and show her that you love her so much. I'm going to give you two some privacy after I walk you in but you need to fix this Spence, this is what you have to do as the amazing bf and what would have been father you are.

Reid: Are you sure this is the right thing to do?

Jj: yes. Now get up.

—

Y/N's POV:

*Reid and Jj walk in*

Y/n: Spencer!!

Reid: y/n, I'm so sorry.

*reid comes over to my bed and wraps his arms around me in a tight hug*

Reid: I'm so sorry for everything. I know this is all my fault. I wish I could take it back but I can't. I made dumb decisions and I have to face and own up to them. I should have never yelled at you. I should have never started taking Dilaudid again. I should have never left you. For gods sake you were pregnant! What was I thinking?! Now we don't have a baby because of me I know and I'm truly so so sorry. I'm going to go get help so that I will never do anything like this again. I love you too much to loose you. I can't stand not having you in my life. I need you y/n. I just want to spend the rest of our lives together. I want to get married and have kids with you y/n. Please do you forgive me?

I was so heartbroken over what Spencer just said. He was seriously sorry for what he did. He meant it from the bottom of his soul and you could tell. His apology made everything and everyone disappear for a moment.

Y/n: Spencer, I love you so much. We almost brought a gorgeous baby girl into the world. I was so worried about you and if you were okay that I completely panicked. I need you to get better and I need you to want to get better. You can't be doing this. It's not healthy for either of us and you know it. You're smart as hell Spencer but even the smartest people mess up. I forgive you Spencer but you have to make a promise to me that you will never do anything like this again. I want to spend the rest of our lives together too but you have to get better first before we can take this any farther.

Reid: are you breaking up with me?

I saw the pain in his eyes when he looked up to me and said that. He was looking directly into my eyes and his started to tear up

Y/n: no, I'm saying that before we get married or anything you have to get better.

Reid: I swear I am going too.

Y/n: I love you so much Spencer.
I kissed his swollen lips. They tasted of salt from his tears. He kissed back.

Reid: I love you more than you will ever know y/n.

Spencer curls up next to me and we both drift off to sleep. I finally felt safe and loved. Most importantly even though I was in the hospital, I felt at home. At peace. Spencer just makes everything better. I don't know what I would have done if I would have lost him.

*in honor of it being Goob's Birthday, I let y'all have a good chapter!! If you haven't go wish Matthew a happy birthday!!(march 9th)*