Judy Alvarez/V oneshots

Goodbyes. ⚠️

Trigger warning: suicide and self harm
For some reason sad scenes are much easier for me to write than happy stuff...

*JUDY POV*
Something is wrong with V. She seems sad lately, depressed. I don't know what to do.  I feel like she's hiding stuff from me. I tried talking to her about it but she just keeps shutting me down. She doesn't wanna talk about anything anymore. She barely goes on gigs. I'm really worried about her.

*V POV*
I'm getting worse as the days go by. I don't know how to tell Judy I'm dying. Maybe I should just let her figure it out herself instead of me telling her. This fucking relic has ruined my life. I can't even be with the girl I love anymore.
The relic is so corrupted now I don't even see Johnny anymore. I miss him. Even though he was a huge dick.
What's the point of being here? I'm just waiting to die....

Maybe if I flatlined myself it would be better.

I briefly heard, 'say your goodbyes.'
Johnny?

I sighed. I'm going fucking crazy. But it wouldn't hurt to let everyone know one last time that I loved them.

I called up misty,
"Hey V what's up?"
"Uh nothing misty I just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you and Vik." I sighed.
"We miss you too V. Is everything ok? You don't sound like yourself."
"I'm fine, misty. I just wanted to call and say hi."
I heard misty chuckle on the other end.
"I love you guys."
"We love you too, V. Are you sure everything is ok?"
"Yeah... everything is fine. Goodbye, misty."
"Goodbye, V."

We hung up and I dialed viks number.
"Hey kiddo what's going on?"
"Nothing just wanted to see how biz is?"
"Biz is booming like normal. You sound off, kid. Everything alright?"
"Yeah, Vik. Everything is fine. I just wanted to see how things were."
"Nothing changes here. You should stop by soon. Misty misses ya. I miss ya, kiddo."
"I miss you guys too. But I'm gonna go now Vik. Goodbye..."
"See ya later, V."
We hung up and I started feeling a pain in my chest. I felt like crying. Why is this so difficult?

I dialed panams number next.
"Hey, Choom! Everyone here misses you like crazy!! You should stop by later, if you have time."
"I miss you guys too. Maybe I will stop by. I just wanted to see how you were doing? How are you and Saul?"
Stop lying to them V.
"We are fine. Things have gotten a lot better between us."
"That's good. I'm glad to hear that. Well I'm gonna let you go. Goodbye, pan."
"Catch ya later, V."

I dialed a number I knew wouldn't pick up.
Jackie wells.
It went straight to voicemail. So I left a message.
"Hey Jack... I know you won't ever get this. But I miss you. A lot. It shoulda been me who got fucked over not you. You had so much to live for. I don't know if we will see each other in the afterlife. Or if an afterlife really exists. I sure hope it does. I hope your up there hanging out with god. And if hell really exists, then that's probably where I'm going. I've done so much fucked up shit. I don't even know how I survived this long. This is gonna be the last time I will call your number. I miss you, my choom.
See you in the major leagues, Jackie wells."
I hung up the phone, tears streaming down my face.

I lingered over Judy's contact. Debating on calling her. She would probably guess right away what I was doing. I decided against calling her. It would be too painful.

A minute later, I get a call from Judy.
I answered.
"Um hey Judy."
"I'm so glad you answered me V! I've been worried! Is everything ok?"
"Yeah, everything is ok. Everything is gonna finally be ok."
"That sounds very ominous. I'm coming over. You are concerning me." She sounded scared.
"NO! Don't come over."
You don't need to see this.
"I'm coming over, V. You sound awful and something is going on. We are gonna talk about it. I can't lose you. I love you."
I can't bring myself to say I love you back. Everything is too painful.
"Goodbye, Judy." I choked out.
"V WAI-" I hung up on her. Now she is definitely gonna come over. It's gonna take her a while to get here anyway.
She won't make it in time.

I've thought about suicide before in the past. Before all this relic shit. I've never had an easy or exciting life. My own family hated me for their own selfish reasons. I've always been alone. And I was going into death. Alone.

Kinda feels blissful, ya know... in some weird morbid way. I've always thought about how I would die. 95% of the time I thought I was going to flatline myself. That 5% was merc work.

⚠️trigger warning⚠️
I grabbed my pocket knife and made my way into the bathroom. I closed the bathroom door and made my way into the shower. I slid down the wall until my butt touched the floor. I opened up the knife and stared at it for a second.

Goodbye, Johnny. It's been fun.

I made multiple slashes at my wrist. The blood just pouring out of me. It hurt. It hurt a lot. I made more slashes on my other wrist. I was shaking due to the blood loss. My vision going blurry.
I could faintly hear someone talking. I can't make out who it is. They are too late anyway.

*JUDY POV*
After getting that phone call from V. I made a mad dash to her place. I sped the whole way there, wanting to get there as soon as possible. She worried me. I have a fear she is going to harm herself.

I made it to her apartment and opened the door. It was eerily quiet. She was not here. I noticed the bathroom door was closed. She never closes it.
I shakily went up to the door.
I knocked.
"V, sweetheart. Are you in there?" I got no response. I opened the door to see V in her shower, blood coating her arms. I panicked.
I went to her side immediately and grabbed towels to stop the bleeding.
No no V. You can't leave me.
Please don't leave me.

"Please baby please don't leave me. I love you." I cried while trying to put pressure on her arms. I sobbed. I immediately called Vik. He would know what to do.
"Judy? Is everything ok?"
"V-Vik it's V! She slit her wrists. I need help. I don't know what to do."
"Ok keep pressure on the wounds I will be there in 5 minutes."
Vik hung up.
He stayed true to his word. 5 minutes later he rushed in with misty by his side. He pulled out stitched and bandages and a bunch of other medical aid.
"Good job, Judy. Now let me take over, Hun." I moved over to be by misty as she hugged me as I cried.
She whispered, "it's gonna be ok. She's gonna be fine." In my ear. He started to stitch her arms up and put gauze over it.
"These wounds are really deep. She really did a number on herself." I heard Vik say.
I could hear him whisper something. A prayer?
I knew Vik and V had a father daughter type of bond. I could tell he was extremely shaken up over this. 
"She should be ok. I'm gonna move her to the bed." Vik picked her up with ease and walked slowly to her bed. He placed her down and covered her with the blanket.
He walked over to me.
"Judy. She is going to be ok. She just lost a lot of blood. She is going to probably be very disoriented for a couple days. Just keep an eye on her and call me if anything happens. Make sure she is eating and drinking when she wakes up."
"I will. Thank you, Vik." I gave him a big hug. Misty joined in.
Misty and Vik left about thirty minutes later. I sat at by V's feet.
"Why, V? Why would you do this?" I cried.
"I promised you we were going to find a way to get rid of the chip together. I was going to help you through this. Just please wake up soon. I love you."

*THIRD PERSON POV*
A whole day went by before V woke up. The merc was very confused and was in pain. She thought she died. She looked down at her bandaged arms and groaned.
"V! Oh thank god!" Judy came up and hugged V tight.
"What happened? I thought I died. I wanted to die." V returned the hug.
"I found you with your wrists slit. Vik helped me fix you up. Why, V? Why did you do it?"
"I can't take it anymore Judy. I'm literally dying everyday. I just figured I would end it on my own terms. That didn't go as planned though."
"I don't know what I would've done if I lost you. I can't lose you, V. You're all I have. I love you." Judy cuddled up next to V. Both girls started to cry. Both for very different reason.

One wishing they were dead, the other wanting them to live.