Haircut (Beth Harmon X Benny Watts)

Chapter 48

I cried against his chest for a long time. His soft blouse rubbed against my nose, what tickled a little, but I didn't care. One hand was wrapped around my waist and his other hand was brushing my hair softly.

"I'm here." He whispered. "I'm here."

My loud sobs slowly turned in silent tears rolling down my cheek, but eventually, even those stopped coming. I started to breathe normally again and looked up from his chest.

I regretted it the second after I saw the guilt in his eyes. For that brief moment, I wished that I didn't have to be mad at him. But when I saw his eyes, he knew, and I knew that he really messed up.

I pushed his arms away from me. My body immediately missed the warmth of his body, but I ignored it. Benny looked startled for a second, but he quickly regained himself and put on a hard face.

There was a dark spot on his blouse, from where I'd been crying. I suddenly felt embarrassed. Crying against his chest, god I wasn't a child anymore.

I turned away from him and wiped the tears from my eyes. After I let oud a loud groan, I turned back to him.

He still had the same careful look on his face. But it wasn't until now, that I noticed the feint black and purple color he had around his eye. He also had a small cut above his left eyebrow and his hair was a total mess.

I considered walking over to him and ask him if it hurted bad. But I stopped myself from doing so. I didn't know what I wanted to say to him first. A thousand questions were circling through my head. But after I noticed that his knife was missing, all the questions merged into one.

"What the hell were you thinking, Benny?" My voice sounded weaker that I wanted it to be.

"I was thinking about you!" He said running his hand through his hair. "About us, about this." He put his hand in his back pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

He gave it to me. "I was thinking about this."

When I could see the piece of paper up close, I immediately knew what it was. I folded it open, to see if I was right. And I was.

In my hands laid  the same photograph that I found in Benny's pants after Jolene's wedding. He found it again.

I looked at our two smiling faces on the picture. I wanted to be that girl in the picture again, before all the drama and fears. But the longer I stared at the photo, the more it felt like a dream. I shook my head and folded the photo.

"You're saying you stabbed Townes for the sake of us?"

His face suddenly turned even more serious than he already was. "You need to know that stabbing Townes wasn't my intention, but he started to say things about you and I just couldn't take it..."

I nodded. "I know. He told me."

Benny looked at me confused. "When did you talk to him?"

"I ran to the medical room to talk to him. I know he tried to provoke you. He said you guys were even now."

"Even?" He scoffed. "That asshole."

"If the guards wouldn't have come in, I'd probably knocked him out too."

A short mischievous smile appeared on his face.

"What?"

"I'm just 50% happy and 50% dissapointed that you didn't hit him."

I rolled my eyes. "Too soon, Benny, too soon."

I rubbed my temples with my thumbs. All the crying and screaming gave me a headache. I leaned against the cold stone wall for support.

"You should sit down. Come here." He took of his coat and threw it around my shoulders. The feint smell of leather reached my nose. It smelled exactly like him.

We both sat down on the small bench. I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes. Benny let out a sigh beside me and leaned against the wall as well.

We sat there in silence for 15 minutes.

"If we wouldn't be here, we would've started playing 42 minutes ago." Benny said, pointing at the clock on the wall outside the cell.

"I probably already beat you." I said, staring at the clock hands slowly moving forward.

Benny let out a short laugh. "Funny."

It was silent again. My eyes started to get really heavy, making it hard to keep them open.

"I'm sorry for the bad plan. And the pills. And Townes. And not telling you earlier. And disappearing this morning. And getting you locked up in jail."

"That last part was kinda on me too." I answered.

Benny took my hand, forcing me to look in his eyes.
"Beth, I'm not joking."

I softly squeezed his hand. "I know."

"Beth. Stop it." He sat up straight and let go of my hand. "I messed up big. I thought I was helping you, but I made it a lot worse. Why aren't you being mad?" He asked stern.

"Don't worry, Benny, I'm raging inwardly."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" He asked annoyed.

"No. Why am I supposed to make you feel better, right now?"

Benny sighed. "True."

He leaned back against the wall again and so did I.

"Just promise me you stop acting like this thing between us is a chess game. I like it when you call me your queen, but you know I hate to be pushed around."

Benny smiled softly. "Alright Ms. Metaphor, I'll try to stop being the player and start to be you king. Does that sound better?"

I smiled back at him. "It does."

To tired to fight my exhaustion, I laid my head on Benny shoulder and wrapped his coat closer around me. I didn't know how long I slept, but the arching pain in my back told me it was a while.

Benny was still sitting in the same position next to me. But when he noticed he was awake he slowly streched his back and shoulders.

"Hey." I said as I streched my neck. "How long have I been sleeping?"

"A couple of hours. I think it's already dark outside."

I yawned. "Our game would have ended a while ago."

"I'd probably won." Benny said with a smirk.

"Shut up." I laughed. I changed my position on the hard bench. It only felt a little better.

"You know what is too bad?" I asked.

"No?" Benny replied also changing his sitting position.

"That Collin made you win that game so we could play the final and now we're here. In jail, on New Year's Eve."

"Yeah. I guess we're not defending our co-championship this year." Benny scratched his moustache.

"Hell yeah, you are!" A voice yelled from around the corridor. After 5 seconds, Matt was standing in front of us with the fat officer next to him.