• Rain's POV:
Having panic attacks in the dead of night were not fun. Being alone during one was even worse.
It started with simply thinking of your new relationship with Carl, it's unfamiliar intensity, it's steady and constant speed. This then lead to questions, to overthinking in general, for it went from mentally debating if Carl thought you were a bad kisser, and painstakingly escalated to contemplating whether to leave the prison or not.
Now, in the darkness, a subtle tint glowing through your cold and lonely cell, you, entire body shaking, stared down at your quivering hands. Having just recovered from a few minutes of excruciating loss of breath and a few head bangs against the concrete door bars, you slid down the wall.
Head tucked between your knees, you thought, trying to stay as calm as possible.
You decided to apply an idea taught during the third grade, determining the pros and cons, weighing the options.
Pro: Carl has made you happier than you've been since the apocalypse has started.
Con: You hardly know the boy yet, should it be this easy to break down your walls? After such a short amount of time?
Pro: Carl seems to like you.
Con: He could just be using you for some sick game, you are probably the first girl he's seen in months, possibly years.
Pro: It's the end of the world, what other choice will you get?
Con: It's the end of the world, when will growing attached to others only to lose them one by one become the daily regular? Oh shit, it already has.
"Just give it a chance."
He'll hurt me
"Bitch, you don't know that."
It's happened before, if it's not on purpose, then for certain, he'll be ripped from your hands from one of those walk-
"Fucking stop!!"
Realizing that you've not only been speaking half of this out loud, but also arguing with the silent inner depths of your mind, you sit back on the bed and just pray to God - if he's even fucking out there - that no one heard your screams.
During the outburst, your hands subconsciously traveled around your elbows, clutching your upper arms. Discovering your tight, white knuckles, your dainty, callused fingers, your curled up position, you come to the conclusion that this was a cry. A cry for help. A cry from your body, yearning to be held. Held by someone else, for doing it yourself has so far proved unsuccessful.
Lulling off to sleep, your mind felt light as the thought of Carl's strong arms wrapped around your shoulders soothed you, sunk you into the comfortable mattress.
This was definitely the tiebreaker between the pros and cons.
-
You hear some yelling near the fence, and see Carl and Patrick talking to Lizzie and Mika. Nervous, you decide to head down and see what's going on.
"You named one?! They aren't people Lizzie, what the hell, are you insane?" Carl yells at the young girl as you run up to them.
You catch up, "what's going on?"
"She named a walker," Carl motions towards Lizzie and turns away in disgust.
"Lizzie!" You lean down, placing your hands on her shoulders, "You can't do that Liz, they aren't-"
