Hatred // spencerreidxreader

Recovery

"It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, cover them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone." - Rose Kennedy

"How do you feel?" Spencer asked. 

You responded with your frail, yet harsh voice. "I'm okay, honestly. How do you feel?" 

He chuckled. "You do know that you are the one that was tortured, right?"

"Yes, I know. Though you had to see me like that. He recorded me. I know the live feed went straight to you guys." You said as you felt yourself grow sad. Spencer must have noticed your mood change. 

"It was hard, but everyone is okay now. Now, are you going to tell me what Curtis meant when he told me that?" He said with a face you couldn't read.

"What do you mean? What did he tell you?" You genuinely had no idea what Spencer was talking about. 

"Well, I went back to your car to look for any clues. I had found one that was obviously new, as it was sat on top of your car. If it had been there before, I would have seen it." Spencer started to recite the note from his memory,

"Dear Dr. Spencer Reid, 

           I hope you had enough time with your little girlfriend. You won't be getting to enjoy her anymore. Don't worry, you and your team will have an easy time finding her body in the fire.

                                                                                                                                                             ~ Adam Worth 

P.S. She was a keeper. She loved you, you know."

You sighed as you remembered what Curtis had said to you. "You called out his name because you don't hate him. You called his name because you like him. Don't you?" You blinked away the thought when Spencer let go of your hand. Leaving your hand cold and longing for his touch again. 

He looked at you for while before he spoke. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No, I want to. Before you let it get to your ego, I don't love you, but I also don't hate you. I never have. I've only acted that way towards you because that's just how you acted towards me. Anyways, what he was talking about, was when I fell asleep. I had a bad dream, I was apparently mumbling your name. Curtis said I sounded scared, weak. Since he had been watching this team for so long, he knew how everyone acted towards each other. He asked me why I called your name when you're the person I hate most. That's when he figured out that I don't hate you. He left for a while, I'm guessing that is when he placed the note on my car." You let out a deep breath before finishing your statement. "He called you 'boy genius'. I told him not to call you that because I know you hate it. That's when he first got the idea that I'm in love with you."

"Oh..." was all Spencer had to say. I don't blame him. If the roles were reversed, you wouldn't know what to say either. "I'm going to go tell the team that you are awake. They will want to individually come in and talk to you, Don't worry, I'll be the last one in. I'm staying the night with you tonight." You nodded before he got up to get the team. 

The team came in one by one. First, was Hotch. He only asked you if you were okay, if you needed anything. You shook your head, then he turned and walked out. Then one by one, Dave, Derek, Emily, and finally, Penelope.

"Hey, how you holding up?"

"Fine." You said unconvincingly.

"No, your not, but that's okay." She paused to think, "I bet I could tell you something that would make you a little bit happier."

"What?"

"Spencer."

"What about Spencer?"

"The whole time you were out, he never left. He only left when he went home to shower, and even then he was only gone for about 40 minutes. He never left you for longer than that. Pinch me if I'm wrong, but if you hate someone, you don't stay with them for two and a half days while they're knocked out.Which means..." She paused and started at you.

"Which means...what?"

"Ugh! You are so clueless. He likes you! By that I don't mean like, I mean like like."

"What!? You don't realize how wrong you are."

"Okay, when you come to me to tell me that you to are a thing, I'm gonna say 'I told you so'."

"Fine with me, as it will never happen."

"Uh-huh. Anyways, goodnight."

She walks out of the room. You hear her talking to Spencer, as you hear his voice, you get butterflies. Okay, fine, you admit that you do have a little crush on Spencer. That is a totally one sided feeling though, you know Spencer Reid would never have a crush on you. You look up as Spencer enters the room. You make eye contact, and he smiles. His smile is so perfect. 

"Hey, Penny told me that you have barely left my side."

"Oh, yeah. I-I um, I can go if yo-"

"Spence, I don't want you to go. I just want to know why you've stayed."

"Well, contrary to popular belief, I don't hate you." You opened your mouth in fake disbelief. That made him smile, that perfect smile, once more.

"Yeah, I stayed because I didn't want you to wake up and see nobody waiting for you. I wanted you to know that I'm here."

You didn't know what to say, so you said what you could muster up. "Thank you, Spence."

He nodded before telling you to get some sleep. You laid in bed, you stared at the ceiling until you fell asleep. 

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It had been a week since you were co close to death. You were finally able to leave the hospital. Spencer hadn't visited you in 3 days. You wondered why, but then just told yourself it's because he's busy at work.

The doctor said that you were able to go to work, but you couldn't go into the field yet. You had to wait two more weeks before you could go back in the field. Before you go back though, you need to go back to your doctors for approval. Then, your back in the field, but that's in two weeks. Now, your walking into the office, your whole team has their eyes on you. Except Spencer. He's there, he's just not paying you any attention. Garcia decided to save you from solid paperwork on your first day back. She told Hotch that she wanted you to help her with the case that the team has. 

"Okay crime fighters, today you are going to Arizona. This killer seems to be-" Her voice disappears as you look at Spencer. He looks so normal now. Before, when you would look at him, you'd see a narcissistic asshole. Ever since your kidnapping, ever since the two of you had talked in your hospital room, you saw another side of him. He was vulnerable, in a good way, in a way that reminded you he's human. He has two sides to him, you just need to learn how to stay on the good one. 

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!!!EDIT!!!

Okay hi um, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you guys for all of your support, thank you for reading, voting, and commenting. Thank you so much. Okay, bye.