Hatred // spencerreidxreader

Did you say you loved me...?

"Falling for someone makes your heart sing, falling for someone who falls for another breaks your heart, still loving them shatters your every being." - Samantha Turee

You still had three days left of your stay at the hospital. The same thing was running through your head. What had Spencer said to you before you fell asleep yesterday? You had no idea, but you were determined to rack your brain to figure it out. When Spencer had told you about the bet that the team made, it made you laugh just a bit too hard when you thought about it later. Something about the thought of Hotch's face when he found out was so funny. You're pretty sure you busted a stitch, but your fine.

After learning about the bet, you and Spencer watched TV together. Surprisingly, he actually enjoyed the show you decided to watch. You only picked the show because it was the only thing that you knew the name of in the selection. Euphoria. You could have never seen Spencer watching Euphoria, but here we are.

As you were about to turn down the TV to tell Spencer what you wanted for lunch. You stopped, hearing a certain line that gathered your attention. "You said memories exist outside of time and have no beginning or end. It was the fact that she knew no matter what he did, she'd still love him."

Love.

Part of you was terrified of the word. Part of you was hoping he had said it. You had never really experienced love. Your parents never told you they loved you, and half the time, they didn't act like they loved you. You knew that your mom was too scared to say it out loud because of your father. Your father wasn't a very nice person, but yet you still called him your father. You didn't have to, and you knew that, but you still did. All of your friends who know of your situation ask you why you still consider him to be family. In all reality, you still call him family because there was a time where he made an effort. He made an effort to be in your life, to be your father. You don't remember exactly when he stopped. You tried to put all of that behind you when you joined the FBI. And you did, you managed to push everything aside to focus on your job. 

You knew that the "love" your parents gave you and the love that Spencer gave you were different. That didn't stop you from wondering if he would also stop loving you. You were terrified of the thought. You don't even know for certain if he said it. You hoped he did. Even though the thought of love terrified you, you were also excited because it would be with Spencer. 

You decided to not bring it up quite yet. Based on the fact that you can't seem to build up the courage to ask. You know that he wouldn't judge you for asking. Besides, you still have 2 days left in the hospital. That gives you plenty of time to think about it. 

You zoned back into Spencer looking at you with concern all over his face. You wonder why he was looking at you like that when he spoke. 

"Hey are you ok?"

"Uhm yeah... I'm good."

"Ok. You were just staring off into space for a bit there."

"Oh sorry. I didn't mean too."

"No need to apologize." 

You could tell that he was still worried about you, but he tried to change the topic back to what it was before. 

"Are you hungry? What do you want to eat?"

"Just get me whatever you're getting please."

"Alright. I'll be right back." 

With that, he left. You knew he cared about you a lot. At this point, you wouldn't be surprised if he did say it. You already knew what your reaction would be. You decided to talk to him about it tonight. Actually, when he gets back with the food would be the perfect time to bring it up. Until then, you lean back in your bed and turn up the TV, still watching Euphoria. 

He walks in the room to see you laughing at something that was said in the show that you guys had been watching all day. When you noticed him walk in, you stop laughing and look at him. His face changes when he saw you stop laughing at the sight of him. Thinking he did something wrong, he walks over to you, food in hand. 

"What's wrong? Did I do something."

You knew he didn't do anything, but you still didn't know what to say. So, you just said the first words that came to mind.

"Did you say you loved me...?"

He didn't say anything. He just sat down the trays full of food on the table next to me. He just looked, he never said anything. After about a full minute of just staring at each other, you decided to speak.

"Yesterday, when I fell asleep, I could have sworn I heard you say it. It's okay if you did, trust me. I just want to know. All I've been able to think about is if you said it or not."

He looked at me with an emotion you've never seen before. He opened his mouth to speak, but all that happened was him leaning forward and kissing you. You weren't expecting it, but still kissed back. When he pulled back, his eyes were full of tears but yet still held enough happiness for a lifetime. 

"I did say it. I didn't want to say it while you were awake because I didn't know what you would think, and I can't lose you because I couldn't keep my emotions to myself."

"Spencer... you would never lose me because of anything like that. I understand why you didn't say it then, but will you say it now?" 

He looked at you and gave you a small smile. 

"I love you Y/n."

You couldn't believe he actually said it out loud, but he did. It felt amazing to know that someone loved you and they weren't afraid to say it. You look at him while you start to tear up.

"I love you too Spencer."

With that, the both of you started to eat your meals as you somewhat calmed down from the events that just took place. 

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The next 2 days went by pretty fast. You and Spencer talked about a lot of different things. Also getting frequent calls from the team for your thoughts on the new case they are working with. The case is pretty small and local, being just big enough for it to be FBI worthy. You are finally allowed to leave the hospital and go back to Quantico. 

As you were on the jet ride back, you just kept thinking about your whole stay at the hospital, trying to block out the reason you were there. Instead focusing on the reason your stay was kind of enjoyable. Spencer. 

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Also, I stream on Twitch! If you would like to, please go check it out! My Twitch is 'sammango404'!! If you check it out, thank you very much! It means a lot. And even if you don't check it out, still, thank you for reading my story!!