Flam-BOY-yant (BoyxBoy)

Don't Go Panicking My Heart,

After the kiss, I was overwhelmed.

All of these things I was beginning to feel were new to me . I'd never been so excited for anyone to touch me, or much less talk to me.

He was a good distraction. He invaded my thoughts and protected me from the demons that I had to keep at bay daily.

A Knight in Shining Armor, who fought the dragons that he didn't even know was there. I was more frightened of telling him my story than telling him about my feelings for him.

What if he was disgusted with me? What if he saw me as the coward I was?

I woke up on my bed. The comforter was wrapped around in my limbs like an anaconda. I didn't sleep on the bed the night before, or at least I don't remember doing it, but I didn't worry about it.

Ben probably went home and put me in bed before he left. I shrugged, brushing it off.

"How did you sleep?" I thought She was talking to me as I was heading down the stairs.

"Like the proverbial log." His voice was filled with sleep and tiredness. I walked slowly to the archway that led to the kitchen. I knew he hadn't slept for days, because of how he passed out on the bed.

"I take it things are going well between you and Caleb." My ears perked up at the new subject, and my feet planted themselves in their spot. There was a pause. The pause was long, too long in my opinion.

"I don't really know." My stomach dropped. Every word came out slowly like he didn't want to say them. "I think I'm giving up on him." His voice was low and sad almost. My hand clutched the skin above my burning heart.

"Why?" I could hear my mother's concern.

"He doesn't want me." I could barely hear him as the burning increased. I wanted yell how much I did want him and yell how scared I was, but fear plagued my being. The taste so acidic on my tongue.

"Well, I'm sure you can woo him."

"But that's the problem. I don't want to have to woo him to get to like me back. You get sick of people leaving you after-" He stopped himself before letting out a shaky breath. The burning moved from my heart to my torso and continued to spread. I couldn't breathe."I have to go." I tried to move away from the archway, but I only managed to fall to my knees. "Caleb? Danielle! Something's wrong."

"I'll get his inhaler."

Ben pulled me into his arms. "He's having a panic attack." My body seized up as all my muscles strained. My hand grabbed onto Ben's forearm and my eyes widened as I looked into his worried ones.

"Breathe, Caleb." I wanted to so badly. He pressed my chest to his chest. I clutched the back of his neck, nails digging into his skin. "Caleb, breathe with me." He hissed, almost as panicked as me.

He was so close that when he breathed out I could feel the warm breath on my face. So I tried to take it. I wanted to take his breath, his essence of himself. I wanted to take him.

Even though I was in this great state of panic, I couldn't of been happier in his arms.

So as he breathed out, I breathed in, taking as much as I possibly could. Mom came down the stairs with my inhaler and by then, I was still tense in his arms with my heart pounding in my ears. My head resting under his chin and I thought briefly about how blissful it would of been under different circumstances.

He raised my head to put the inhaler between my lips. The completely sterile taste filled my mouth and lungs. I went limp in his arms, completely relaxing. A wave of exhaustion settled into my bones.

"What should I do?" He whispered to my mother after my eye lids closed. A hand pressed against my head.

"Do you think you could carry him up to his room? He gets tired after an attack." Her voice was soft like she was a second away from breaking down. I hated to do this to her. She didn't deserve this, me, or her life so far.

In a swift motion, I was lifted to the air. He supported my weight like I weighed nothing. He probably didn't want to see me anymore after what he witnessed.

My heart ached at that thought. I didn't want him to leave me. Ben tried to place me on the bed, but I held onto his shirt like it was my lifeline. "Please." My voice was hoarse as I was on the verge of tears. "Please don't leave me alone." I whimpered, but he pried my hands from him and exited the room.