Memories Bring Back You

Chapter 3

"Hey Mer." They all said in unison as I walked through the door.
"Hi."
"How are you feeling?" George asked.
"I'm good. What are you up to?" I asked no I'm particular.
"We just want to know what happened. We don't know anything." I wasn't scared to talk about it. I was just nervous. For no reason.
"4 years ago, I was in an accident. Even though it wasn't much of an accident."
"What do you mean Mer?" Izzy asked.
"I tried to kill myself. I wanted to give up. No one loved me. My mom hated me. My dad left. I don't know how he is or what he's doing. I had no one. Besides Jackson."
"Oh." George said.

"Now, this doesn't mean you get to treat me any different than you did before. You can act like nothing even happened. I'm fine."

"So you mom comes in, calls you names, puts you down. And your fine?" Derek asked.
"Yes."
"Ok." We drank, talked, drank some more, and went to bed.
********
"Mer?"
"Yea?"
"Sorry if this is personal, but-."
"You want to know if I still think about it."
"If you don't want to answe-."
"No. It's ok. I don't know. I don't think about it a lot. Only when I go into a state."
"Ok. I love you."
"I love you. Get some sleep."
******
I was heading down the hall to run post ops.
"Charge to 300!"
"Chief. I think it's over."
"Call it."
"Time of death, 13:42"

My mother is dead? My brain hurts. I don't know how to feel. Should I be sad? I mean, she is my mother. But she treated me like crap.
"Has anyone talked to Meredith?" I heard the chief ask.
"No need." I say, walking in.
"I'm sorry Mer." Cristina said.
"It's good." I walk over, and I turn the monitor off, take out her chest tube and and remove the vent.
"We did-.."
"Everything you could. I know."

I walk out. Should I be crying?
"Hey Mer. I heard what happened." Derek came around the corner.
"Oh yeah.."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm fine Der."
"When you lie, you can at least try to make it believable."
"I'm not lying."
"Look up."
I looked up.
"Now say it again."
"I'm not lying."
"See you looked to the side, and down. What is wrong?"
"My mother died. But I'm ok. I'm just a tad bit upset."
"Ok. Stay safe. I love you."
"I love you too."
***********
The next day
"Mer."
"Hmm?" I said into Der's chest.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah. Just tired."
"Ok. C'mon. I can make pancakes."
"Uh. Ok."
***********
"Ok. What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Then why have you sat there for 30 minutes and have only taken one bite."
"I don't know. I'm just not really hungry. I had a big dinner."
"Ok. Come on. We have work."
*********
In the car, my favorite song came on.
Where Does The Good Go?

"Why aren't you dancing and singing like last week?"
"I don't know. Just tired I guess."
"Mhm."
"What do you mean 'mhm'?"
"I say ok a lot. Like it's the end of the conversation, but I continue to think about it. So 'mhm' is a better response."
"Oh. Ok."
"Mer, are you really ok?"
"Yes Derek. I promise."
*******
To be continued......
Sorry for the shorter update and longer wait. I am currently at my grandmas and I had somewhere to go. I hope you like this chapter and as always, please give your ideas! Thanks to meredithgreyswife for this collab!