Cursed to die

Till death do we part

The next morning we celebrated Changnel. We opened the presents and ate what's called the "battle feast" which contains food such as Zaz (similar to pizza) and FOTON (similar to cheesecake). Finally around noon Mako said he was tired and went to lay down. He must've been tired because he slept right through supper. It was later that evening when Kelo yelled for me to come upstairs.  I ran upstairs and sure enough Mako was having a seizure. "Kelo put him on his side so he doesn't choke himself!" Kelo pushed down the hospital bed railing and then rolled him on his side. We timed the seizure itself and it was ten minutes which usually meant a hospital visit. However to my surprise Mako refused to let us to call an ambulance. "Why honey? You know when you have a bad seizure we have to call the ambulance." "No... No hospital" he slurred. About five minutes later he came to fully and I demanded to know what the heck was going on. He looked at me with tears in his eyes. "Mama I can't do this anymore. I'm tired, my body's tired. I know you're not ready to let me go but please no more hospital visits. I don't want to extend my life by machinery.  That's not a life that's just surviving." I looked at him devastated. I can't say that what Mako was saying wasn't true. I wasn't ready to let him die.  I honestly didn't want to lose my son. "Oh dear. The hospital can help you stop seizing and help with pain as well."  Mako and Kelo looked at me. "You know Mom" Kelo said carefully "I don't think it's fair to keep Mako alive if he doesn't want to be kept on machines." I couldn't deal with this and went to bed. That night I had the strangest dream. In it I was walking down a hospital corridor and I knew I was heading towards Mako's hospital room. I went into his room and he was in a coma. I immediately thought to myself "why am I being so selfish?" I went to Mako's side and all of a sudden his eyes opened. He looked at me and even though I knew he had been blind for months he seemed to be able to see me. "Mama don't be afraid. All children go to paradise when they die. I know you'll be sad when I leave but please no I'm no longer in pain and that I walk and run like I used to." I knelt down beside him and asked for forgiveness for being so selfish. He smiled at me and said "You're not being selfish. You're being a mother." Then the heart monitor beside the bed started going off and I woke up. I knew that I was ready to accept Mako's decision for no more medical intervention. I went into Mako's room and told him my decision. "Thank you MAMA! I'll try to wait until the holidays are over. I don't want to make the holidays a terrible time for you guys."  I laughed at this and then help him downstairs for breakfast.   

It was a week later just as we celebrated the new year that Mako's health permanently depleted. The first day of the new year I went into Mako's room to wake him up and he had a bad fever.  I immediately got out my thermometer and stuck it in his mouth. "ack ack ack!" Mako started coughing. I removed the thermometer realizing it was choking him as I had stuck it too far down. "Sorry baby. My bad." I tried once more. "Okay Mako. Can you hold the thermometer with your tongue?" "I'll try." Luckily for me he was able to hold it. Unfortunately his temperature was a dangerous 107 degrees Fahrenheit. 'ah shib' I thought to myself. 'This ain't good.' 

Sure enough by lunch Mako wasn't eating and had developed a cough.  He pretty much was knocked out and didn't seem to respond to my call. Luckily both Kelo and Nico were home so I gathered them outside Mako's bedroom. "Well it's clear to me what's happening. What do you guys think? Should we call an ambulance?" "I think we should respect his wishes" Nico said and Kelo nodded in agreement. So instead we gathered around Mako to wait for the end. The next couple of hours was torture to be honest. Mako struggled to breath as what I suspected was pneumonia took over his lungs. Dr Hallow confirmed this when (feeling loyalty since he took such good care of Mako) I called him to confirm. He begged me to admit Mako but I stood firm and he sighed and agreed to accept our decision. According to Dr Hallow Mako would probably not come out of his coma and that (given how he sounded to him) he would probably die that day sometime.  Around Two o'clock something amazing happened.  Mako woke up very briefly. He felt for my hand and grasped it. "Hi Mama" he said in a weak voice. "Hi baby. How do you feel?" "Tired. I think I'll go soon." We all cried at this statement. "Don't be sad guys. I'll be alright. Mama can you hold me please?" "Of course honey." I climbed into his hospital bed and gathered him into my arms. "ACK ACK ACK ACK" Mako coughed. "It's alright baby you can let go now."  Mako leaned into my arms as I said this. He mumbled something that I couldn't quite hear. "What was that son?" "I'm scared" he whispered to me "It feels like I'm drowning." "No need to be scared son" I told him "We're all here. I got you and won't let you go." "We're all here Mako" Kelo said "Feel our hands" he told him gesturing to Nico top touch Mako. Mako sighed in relief. "Yes yes I can feel your hands on my bo ACK ACK ACK dy." We continued to touch him till finally he gave a final "AH!" and then went limp in my arms. I checked his breathing but he was officially dead. "What time is it?" Nico asked tears filling his eyes. "Does it matter?" Kelo said harshly. "We have to report the time for the coroner's report" I explained to him. "Oh it's two thirty." With that we gave Mako one last kiss and called the mortuary. 

Two months later

A week after Mako died we held his funeral and buried him in our local cemetery. We all cried as he was buried but I know he's at peace finally. It was hard to imagine it but Mako really is gone but I take comfort in the fact that he's a peace.