Rain Clouds (WE BEST LOVE FF)

Yuimaru (ゆいまる) - Friends Indeed

***TRIGGER WARNING*** This chapter may not be suitable for people with suicidal thoughts or depression issues. Please steer clear.  

A/N : I do not feel great making light of Shu Yi's feelings to just shove his issues to the side in order make a happier/fluffier plot, so here's another not so happy chapter. Enjoy!

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It was over two years ago. Shu Yi was particularly spent the past few days. Dark circles around his eyes were evidence of his dreadful sleepless nights. He laid there quietly on his back, not bothering to turn on the light, letting the faraway city dimly illuminate his room. Through his tired eyes, direct lights would just hurt and caused him headaches.

It was half past two in the morning. All he could hear was silence with the occasional footsteps of his neighbours, probably home late from enjoying their night life. Would the sound of cicadas and birds be better instead? Shu Yi groaned. He did not remember the last time he had a good night sleep. Or maybe he did, that short period in his life when he got a certain someone by his side.

His arm spread across the bed, fingers tugging and pulling onto the loose thread of his quilt. He shut his eyes, forcing the relax of his frowning brows. His ears twitched to the sound of the sudden drizzle. He opened his eyes and looked out the window. Even the sky cries sometimes, he thought while lazily dragged his body up to sit on the edge of the bed. He went to fill up his bath tub and laid eyes on the small white container he got from his hospital visit early that day. He hesitated for a while before downing one pill, dry. He frowned from the bitterness lingering in his throat but he was too tired to pick up a glass of water.

He soaked his body in the bath, watching as steams fogged up the bathroom mirror with a vacant stare.

He closed his eyes wanting to feel something besides weariness. He did not hope for something as far-fetched as happiness. He just wanted to care. Disregarding the distant bang of thunders, he thought of the faces he held dear to his heart; his father, Zheng Wen, Yu Xin, Bing Wei, Zhe Yu and that last face that he wished he could forget.

His face scrunched up trying to reduce the pain in his stinging eyes. His thoughts drifted to the warm smile and playful laughter of a certain man before his body and mind, without notice, fully gave in to his lassitude.

Shu Yi woke up the next day to an unfamiliar white ceiling. His head was spinning.
Did I drink last night? He let out a soft moan.

"Hey, Shu Yi.. Are you awake now? Can you hear me?"

"I don't think one can go deaf from drowning"

"Ha Ha Ha, very funny" 

Drowning? Who drowned? He forced his eyes opened, squinting at the sudden attack of blaring light.

Slap. He winced at the pain on his right thigh. He blurted out a "WTF" before seeing his friends crowding all over his view.

"Yea Shu Yi, WTF! Who in their right mind would take a sleeping pill before taking a swim in the bath tub?!" That was Zheng Wen.

Shu Yi was taken aback, he had never seen Zheng Wen this angry before. Angry was an understatement.

Aahh.. so that's what happened. Shu Yi gave his friends a half smile. "Sorry"

"Are you suicidal Shu Yi?" He shifted his view to Zhe Yu. Bing Wei standing by his boyfriend with his arms crossed over his chest. Yu Xin was massaging his calf.

He was not! Was he? No. Shu Yi shook his head. "I was just trying to sleep. I didn't expect the pill to work so fast" He gave a reassuring look.

Bing Wei sighed. Intentionally loud for the whole room to hear. "Your father called your cell multiple times this morning. You should call him back."

"Did..did you.."

"We didn't tell him anything if that's what you're worried about" Zhe Yu added. They knew Shu Yi hated getting his busy father to unnecessarily worry.

"Thanks" Shu Yi breathed a sigh of relief. His father can be a bit overbearing sometimes, but Shu Yi knew he did it out of love.

"Uhuh, a 'thank you' is not enough to repay me for saving your ass last night" The others laughed at Zhe Yu's antics.

The four friends made small talks before finally leaving Shu Yi to rest. They were talking and laughing while teasing each other but they can never shed the dreary feelings of concern for Shu Yi. They knew ShuYi need help, and company.

So that's when it started. They would take turn accompanying Shu Yi in his apartment whenever they got time on their hands despite Shu Yi's firm opposition. And from then that they noticed Shu Yi would start to show signs of anxiety attack whenever it thundered. But like most problem in life, things do get better. Thunder does not come everyday, anyway. More than half a year later, Shu Yi did no longer need medicine to keep his anxiety under control, although his sleep schedule was still a big mess.

Little did he know, that the choking, the feeling of having a huge lump in his throat, and the churning in his stomach would pay him a surprise visit again in the presence of another.