Rain Clouds (WE BEST LOVE FF)

Akai Ito (赤い糸) - Red String

"I'm leaving." Shu Yi felt his body tensed up as Shi De went and locked the door. 

"You've been saying that a lot."

"Well, maybe it's because someone is too dense to understand my words," Shu Yi can't stay here any longer. How can he resist that man? The man he longed for every second of his life.

"We need to talk," Shi De pushed Shu Yi's shoulder's down to make him sit on the couch.

"About us. It's not because of your dad," Shu Yi furrowed his brows.

"Well, he's part of the reason but listen," Shi De rubbed his nape red. He nipped on over to the mini bar cart by the window. He hold up his right palm gesturing Shu Yi to wait.

I can't do this sober, Shi De thought as he popped open a bottle of Bourbon and downed three gulps straight from the crystal bottle. He brought the bottle to the couch as he sat down roughly.

"What are y..,"

"Shh.. shh..," Shi De placed two fingers on Shu Yi's mouth. Another hand was used to quaff more of the alcohol in. His nose and forehead crinckled at the burning feeling in his throat.

"Stop playing, I don't have time for this."

Shi De nodded, whatever, as long as Shu Yi would stay. He drank another shot.

"Would you stop? It's only 10." Shu Yi was glaring at him.

"You worried huh?" Shi De raised his eyebrows.

"It's fine, I'm fine." Shi De chuckled. He was feeling tipsy.

Not feeling like entertaining Shi De's antics, Shu Yi once again made an attempt to leave, "Good then."

"Sit." Shu Yi ignored him again.

What did I expect? "I'm sick," Shi De rocked back and forth. He was beyond worried. He wanted to let it all out today. But he was terrified at the thought that Shu Yi would leave him again.

Shu Yi's pupils were dilated, "You.. are sick?"

"Hahah. No. Mm. Maybe. Will you leave me if I'm sick?" Shi De said, now grinning like an idiot.

Shu Yi sighed a relief, "You're not sick, you're drunk."

As the figure of Shu Yi walked passing his blurry view, he grabbed the hand pulling Shu Yi right onto his lap. He hugged him tight by the waist, resting the side of his head on Shu Yi's chest.

His voice cracked as he said, "They said I'd forget you. That I'd burden you. That I'd forget myself, I'd.. I'd forget us" Shi De was heaving with heavy sobs towards the end of the sentence.

"But won't you stay anyway? Don't leave me. How could I forget you? When you are the only one in my heart, in my mind, when you're the only face I see night and day? How can I, when you are the only reason of my being? I won't forget you. I'd die before I do!"

Shu Yi raised his hand to pat Shi De's hair, trying to calm his down. His lower lip quivered, "Who's 'they'?"

Shi De shook his head. His grief was pouring out, leaving wet spots on Shu Yi's shirt. As more tears came, more thoughts whirled in his mind. I have to tell him. It's now or never, but,

"You'd be selfish to let him know,"

"Shu Yi won't be able to handle it,"

"Do you want to see my son suffer having to take care both you and your mom?!"

"Even if he stayed, he'd be broken by the end of it and you won't be there to save him then,"

"Don't do this to my son. Shi De, just leave. If you love him, you'd leave."

One by one, Mr. Zhou's warnings and pleadings resounded in his ears, crisp and clear like they were yesterday's.

The lasting sobs let out all the deep emotion he had repressed in his heart.

"Are you..," dying? Shu Yi can't bring himself to finish the question. What if Shi De answered yes to that question?

Shu Yi tugged and rubbed on the shoulder's of the weeping man. His eyes no longer able to contain the welled up tears, "You can burden me, you can forget yourself, you can forget me. It's okay. I'm here, I'll remember everything for us." Shu Yi didn't understand what was happening but he wanted to give his promise anyhow.

Shi De held his breath and his sniffles with it. He lifted his head, face red and wet, finding Shu Yi's concerned eyes,

"I'd puke on myself too."

Shu Yi nodded to reassure Shi De.

Whatever this may be, I will be here for you.

"I may lash out at you."

"I.. I may hurt you," Shi De was fighting back a second wave of tears.

Shu Yi took in a long deep breath, noticing something within those words,

"So you might forget me, puke on yourself and possibly me, lash at me and hurt me?" His finger was softly scratching the hand holding his waist. He noticed the bracelet that never left Shi De's wrist.

Shi De gulped, nodding slowly.

"But you might not do it at all?"

Shi De nodded again. Their eyes on each other.

Shu Yi let out a heavy sigh, lifting up his chin to watch the white ceiling.

"Baka."

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A/N: ばか (Baka) is a japanese word for stupid/fool.