𝗜𝗗𝗢𝗟 𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗘 #01 - 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙔 𝙒𝙄𝙏𝙃 𝙈𝙀 (𝑳𝒆𝒆 𝑭𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒙) [EDITING]

04

Lauren's POV

Growing up, my father always tolerates my fear of people. I do have a very introvert ass.

I panic mentally when people approach me. I rarely go outside, I can't buy things alone, I can't even order food for myself in the fast food but I always thank God for my papa for always having my back.

Even my work back then wouldn't be possible if Betty and I weren't in the same company.

I enjoy myself alone but I always need someone going outside.

One month had quickly passed since I left my country and this is the biggest step I have ever taken so far, also the bravest.

This is the first time I stepped out in my comfort zone alone, without the precense of the people I always needed.

Yes! I'm living in South Korea now to chase my dream! Finallyyyyy!

Convincing my fam wasn't as hard as I was thinking. They were all so proud and excited.

At first, Grandma was against it but I think she saw this opportunity to face my fear so she ended letting me.

This may be a dream come true but coming into this decision wasn't easy. I had to sacrifice so many things. My studies, my work and the time that I should be spending with my family. I know I'm not that emotionally open with them but they're a big part of my life. We were always together so I guess missing them will be the hardest part.

My family rejected JYP's offer on shouldering my expenses. So they will be sending me monthly allowance. I'm so grateful that they're so supportive of me!

I'm enjoying my training even though it's really exhausting. I had body aches during my first two weeks of training but later after, I managed to cope up. There's still fear and anxiousness but staying positive is the best for everything and everyone.

Everything still feels surreal.

Now I'm staying in a dorm with other trainees and I'm finally doing what trainees supposed to do.

Before I signed the training contract back then, they explained everything to me.

Other K-pop fans always think it's always rainbows and unicorns but honestly, it's noooooot!

A 153cm girl is weighing 55kg, and that's me! I am considered overweight even though my body looks fine. I was told to do diet just like the others and every week there's someone to check our weights. Yes, thoroughly every week!

We were also told that if ever we're dating someone, it's better to break up with them. Lucky me, I have never dated anyone. That's a bit sad to those trainees that were forced to break up.

Next, every trainee is being strictly monitored well by managers. They're just around the corners, they watch us just like how cctvs do.

Friendship over boys and girls is allowed but-as much as possible that news shouldn't go in public.

Social media like facebook, instagram and twitter should be deleted. And sad to say, I ended up deleting mine even my personal account.

We should not interact with other people too much.

And of course, dating is the most strictly prohibited.

That's not all!

Since i'm not a Korean trainee, I am attending Korean class to study their language, their culture, manners, everything possible.

Because I have never been in training before, I also need to learn how to play instruments at least one. This one is not obligated tho, but I still want to learn.