I Capital L Love You

not so alone

June 3rd
Dear Oliver,

So your engagement party was a few days ago.

I don't know why you had your engagement party six whole months after the proposal happened, but it was your party – you could do whatever the hell you wanted to.

The party was alright. Coming from me, a person who doesn't really enjoy parties and isn't on board with this marriage, that means a lot. Truly. The decorations were cute, of course. Bri's a party planner, so I didn't expect anything less. The cake was delicious and so were the catered snacks and appetizers.

It was nice catching up with some old friends and meeting some of your coworkers, but I still didn't feel 100% while I was there. I knew the majority of the people in the room, but I still felt like an outsider. Most of the people our age were sharing their post-grad accomplishments and talking about their significant others, but I had nothing to share. I know they weren't intentionally trying to brag and hurt my feelings, but I still felt bothered and slightly ashamed of myself for not measuring up.

So, I ended up spending a good chunk of the party in the corner, hanging out with my old and trustworthy friend, vodka. We had a wonderful time together, if I do say so myself. 

     Somehow, you noticed that I was feeling alone in that crowded room and approached me with a tall brown-haired man in tow. You said, "Soapy, have you met Travis? He's one of Kent's work friends."

I ended up talking with Travis because I kinda had to. You backed me into a corner (figuratively and literally), and it would have been rude if I ignored him.

And when he asked me to dinner after thirty minutes of conversing, I said yes. What did I have to lose? Certainly not my dignity. She was buried years ago.

Fast forward a few days. Travis and I had dinner last night, and the final verdict is that I'm glad I said yes. We ended up hitting it off and are going out again next weekend. I stepped out of my comfort zone and had a good time doing something that the old Sophie would have likely said no to. While that's important, the fact that I went on a successful date is huge. It literally made my entire month.

     Unlike what's-his-face from last month, Travis was nice, charismatic, and a gentleman. He didn't seem to mind that I have no clue about anything dating-related, and he was understanding when I told him that I'm still on the rocky road of getting over someone. To be honest, the bar was already so low, but he still would have cleared an impossibly high one.

If only I could have met Travis months or years ago.

It's just... with him, I felt not so alone. He helped me feel included at the party and really seemed to care about me on our date. It was like we were the only two people in that bustling Italian restaurant.

     I don't know – maybe I'm being overly optimistic, but this could be the start of something new. Not to quote High School Musical, but it felt so right to be with him.

     I'll have to see how this pans out. Fingers crossed and hoping for my own happy ending.

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