Whispers of the past (Hunter x Hunter fanfiction)

Chapter 11

(A/N: Warning: Suicide and death mentioned.)

I'm ready to die. I waited for about 10 seconds before I looked up.

"So? You won't kill me yet? Just do it. No need to make me feel regret and sadness."

"We don't want to kill you, Aiko. You're our friend."

"No, I'm not. You chose for me the harder way. Now I have to stay alive and the most I can do is watch you guys and wish we were friends, but we can't be. It's too dangerous. Let's just pass this exam so that I can go back home."

They all seemed annoyed at what I said. I was kind of mad at Killua, for two things. First, he just HAD to stop me. Second, he had to wake everyone up. No need to make me hate this, Killua. But, I think I should be grateful. Do they really not want me dead? Not even Kurapika? After what happened with Pairo and Maya, he should want to kill me. I didn't understand at all. There were only two people who ever cared for me: Kai, who I lost, and Shio, who I can't be friends with anymore for dear mother's reasons. I went to the corner of the room. I checked for my knives. 'I won't do anything, I'm just checking.' I tried to convince myself. 

"Huh? Hey! Who took my knives?!" I screamed. I was really angry. Killua took the three knives out.

"Killua." I growled. "Give them back."

"Why should I?" He said as he handed them to Kurapika. I walked to them both. I looked up at the taller and older male. 

"Kurapika. Can I please have my knives?" I asked politely, even though it sounded like an order.

"No, sorry."

"Ughh. I'll find a way to get them back."

"You can't but you can try." Killua said.

"Shut up. I wasn't talking to you."

"Huh? Aiko, this is so unlike you. Is something wrong?" Kurapika asked.

"Nope, everything's just great. It's wonderful that my friends don't trust me enough they won't give me my own stuff. Love this feeling." I replied sarcastically.

"Oh, and you're saying we should trust you after almost killing yourself?" Killua interrupted.

"Hey! I already told you, I wasn't talking to you." I stomped away. I got my bag and took out my phone and earphones. Good thing I had them. Music is the only thing that can calm me down. Well, Shio too. I opened my phone and turned on some music. I then went and checked my pictures. I looked at the photos I had with Shio. I really missed him. I wondered how he was doing. Will I ever be able to see my best friend again? I put the music on highest and accidentally fell asleep, peacefully though. I woke up a few minutes later.

"Aahhh! This song is too loud." I shouted childishly. They all looked at me like I'm crazy. I pulled my angry face back on. I was still angry at all of them. Well, except for Gon. He was the only one who wasn't forcing me to do anything and he was just too innocent.

"Mm, now what? I'm wide awake. Well, it's not like I meant to sleep." I spoke to myself. I looked around the room. There was nothing to do. If this was a normal day, I'd be playing with my friends. But I was really mad. 'Maybe I should apologize to them. Was I wrong? Wait, what?! No way. It's all their fault, but... I really don't want to leave them. I just don't want them hurt either. Yes, it's better for them to stay away from me.'

I went to the corner. Gon walked towards me. The other three were discussing something. I was going to listen, but Gon started talking.

"Aiko?"

"Hm?"

"Are you mad at us?"

"No. Not you, at least. I'm mad at these three, though. My turn to ask a question. Was I wrong?"