Accidental (A Ziam AU)

Chapter 3

Every day in government, it would be a constant internal struggle. For one, I loved going into that class so I could see him again. I loved to see the way he laughed, or just when he spoke. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to touch him again. For another, I hated it because Nathan would bully him. 

“Come on, Payne,” Nathan started today as soon as Liam entered the room. “it’s a great day to come out!” he joked as Liam and his friend, whose name I learned was Louis, sat down. I could see the bags under Liam’s eyes as he sighed. He wasn’t doing well. I wondered if more people were giving him a hard time about what happened at the party. 

“Not now, Nathan.” Liam tried to say strongly, but it sounded more of an exasperated whisper. 

“So are you going to do it today?” Nathan continued on, completely ignoring Liam.

Liam ran his hand through his hair, “Come out? No. I’m not gay, like I’ve said for the past four days.”

Nathan laughed heartily. My heart pained for Liam. I didn’t want him to be bullied by these guys because of what I did. I just wanted them to leave him alone. Why couldn’t they just let him be happy?

“That’s not what I meant, fag.” He mocked with an overenthusiastic eye roll. I cringed at the word, “Are you going to do it?” he asked again offering a can of that spray paint for cars. 

I watched at Liam looked from the can to Nathan and back to the can. Louis seemed confused, but so was I. What was he going to do with the paint? Liam opened his mouth to speak, but Nathan cut him off, “Coward.”

That word made my own blood boil. Being called a chicken is playful banter, but being called a coward is the worst insult in my eyes. Liam was not a coward. No matter what anyone said; I knew that Liam was NOT a coward.

“I will.” Liam said, grabbing the can from his hands, puffing out his chest. He stuffed it in his bag carelessly as Nathan smirked down at him. The teacher called everyone to their seat, just as Nathan leaned down to whisper something in Liam’s ear. Liam just tightened his jaw and watched ad Nathan sat in his own seat. 

Louis touched Liam’s shoulder, but he just shook it off and ignored Louis’ concerned looks.

I wish that I could have gone and protected him. I could see that it was hurting him to get bullied like this. I wish that I could have gotten up in the middle of class, picked him up in my arms and held him until he was happy again. I missed the normal crinkles in his eyes. I missed how bright the room was when Liam was happy and laughing. 

But I stayed locked in my seat, desperate to stay hidden. There was mo way in hell that either of us would do well in that class if someone knew that we both were here. There was that, and the fact that Liam probably hates my guts.

——————————————

It was only Thursday, and I was counting down the minutes until the end of the last class. I was supposed to be sanding down the box we made out of wood, but I couldn’t keep my thoughts off the brown eyed boy. 

There was no doubt in my mind, that I liked the boy. It couldn’t have been the worst person to become infatuated with. There was no way that I could ever be with him, let alone kiss him again, unless we were both drunk at another party. Although the odds were against me, I couldn’t help but let my mind wander. 

“How are you doing, Zayn?” My teacher, Mr. Taylor, asked me. He was the only teacher in my four years of high school that seemed to like me, so he ended up being my favorite. He seemed to realize my skill with art during the beginning of the school year, giving me harder and more complicated projects. We all had to make boxes out of wood, but he had told me to engrave the box with designs. So I had taken my knife and began carving. I wasn’t completely done, but it looked like a spider-web, covering the outside of the box. 

“Fine.” I shrugged and picked up my knife for the first time that day. I guess I spent too much time thinking about number 23.

He gave me an odd look, as if he knew that I was lying. “Make sure you finish the web over here.” he changed the subject, pointing at the corner that I hadn’t finished. I nodded and he walked away to the other students. 

Sometimes I wish that he wasn’t so nosy in my life. But the thought that someone other my only two friends, would go out of their way to see if I was doing okay, made me feel special. 

Finally, after what seemed like forever of pretending to carve after being distracted all period, the bell rang. I set all my supplies into my tool box and stuffed my spider-web box and my tool box both in the locker in the classroom. I grabbed my binder and headed out of the classroom, and to the parking lot in the back. 

I was about to pull out a cigarette, when I noticed that someone was by my truck.

He had a T-shirt on with dark skinny jeans. His brown hair looked familiar, and when I realized who it was, my heart skipped a beat. It was Liam. He was by my car. Not only was he by my car, there were words written all over my car windows. I could feel my pulse growing stronger. What made him write all over my windows? Then I saw the words: 

Faggot.

Queer. 

Gay.

Everywhere. At first I was shocked, then angry. I hated labels, for one, and labeling me that I was gay when I like both boys and girls really irritated me. Secondly, that was my fucking car and he has no right to be writing anything on my shit.

“Hey!” I yelled once I was close enough so he could hear me. He turned his head just as I yelled, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” 

Once he saw me, his eyes widened. He turned to me, begging me with his eyes, “Man, let me explain-“

“This doesn’t need any explanation! Just because you’re getting ‘picked on’ by-” I started, my chest heaving with anger, but he cut me off.

“This is your fucking fault! If it wasn’t because of that stupid game, none of this would have happened!” I guess he did remember the party, which made me even angrier. 

“That game had nothig to do with me! Plus, it was you who lost.” I said, breathing deeply to control my anger. 

“I. Was. Drunk.” he said gritting his teeth. It almost looked as though he was convincing himself of this. 

“Are you drunk right now?” I asked, finally breathing normally. 

He just looked at me, not knowing what to say. That’s when I noticed the rag in his hands, slightly tinted the same color pink that was painted on the car. He looked down at the rag, then back at the car. 

“Here.” he tossed me the rag, no longer looking at me in the eye. “I came back to wash it off.” His shoulders were slouched as he turned and walked away, sending waves of guilt through me. The anger of what he did, was still strong, so I stood holding the rag, watching him walk away. 

Once he was out of sight, I looked up at my car, and sure enough, half of the word ‘Gay’ was wiped clean off. I felt guilty, because he tried to right his wrongs, by wiping it off. He felt guilty himself, and came back to wash it. But then, I was angry because he had done it in the first place. I watched Nathan hand him the can unknowing of what he was planning to do, and Liam wasn’t afraid to do this. He wasn’t afraid to go as low as the guys like Nathan and graffiti my car. He went out of his way to put down the one guy that is in a similar situation as he is. 

In the end, I just brought back my foot and painfully kicked my wheel. I was pissed, guilty, sad, and annoyed. I was annoyed that I let myself get so worked up about this, but it wasn’t something totally unreasonable. This was way out of line, even for a football player like Liam. 

All I knew, was that a guy I really liked just completely humiliated me in front of everyone and had single-handedly ruined any chance we might have had.