Accidental (A Ziam AU)

Chapter 4

On Friday, Government was a bit weird. Nathan didn't talk to Liam; not once. He didn't even manage a glance in his direction. Liam didn't talk to anyone, including Louis. He had purple bags under his eyes, which led me to believe that he was either stressed or lacking in sleep. I scribbled the notes down, barley looking up at the other side of the classroom.

I was irritated and humiliated by what Liam had done to my car, especially after it took a near hour to rub off all that paint. It would have been faster if I had gone home to get soap, water or something to help rather than an old rag, but there was no way I was driving home with a giant, 'hey! I'm a fucking fag!' written all over my car. I think thats what irritated me the most; that I was stuck wasting my time with something that was completely unnecessary.

I tried not to think of his face when he turned to leave. I tried not to notice the way he hung his head low and slumped his shoulders today. If I had thought of that, then I might have felt a tiny bit bad for him. It makes no sense to feel bad for him after he did that to my car, but I couldn't help but wonder if it was completely his idea.

My eyes wandered dangerously off my paper and to the back of Nathan's head. Could Nathan have pressured Liam into painting my car? It would make sense as to why Nathan had called him a coward yesterday. He also gave Liam the can of paint, but Liam could have also asked for the can.

Liam could have done it on his own. He could have asked Nathan to bring him a can of pink car paint and he could have gone out of his way to label me and my car with crude words. But it still wouldn't make sense as to why he came back to wash it off. Why does he look so tired now?

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Liam lift his head, casually looking around the room. My breathing increased, and I could feel my heart beat pound in my ears. My eyes locked to his head, unable to look away.

His eyes locked onto mine; those eyes that I've been dreaming about for the past week. I've drawn those eyes a dozen times, unable to get them out of my head, but any of those drawings were rubbish compared to the real thing.

I couldn't think much of his eyes, at I watched recognition settle in. He eyes widened as his shoulders went rigid. As much as I wanted to look away and hide in a hole, I couldn't break eye contact with him. I stayed perfectly still as I watched his reaction. I watched as he sighed deeply, breaking eye contact with me. He looked forward as he ran his hands over his face repeatedly. He looked up at the ceiling then down at his desk, where he remained for the rest of the period.

I wanted so desperately to know what he was thinking right now. Now that he knew that I was in this class, I just wanted to know his every thought and feeling. Was he upset? Annoyed? Angry? Happy? I just kept thinking of last Friday night, and how he wanted me so badly, praying that he would actually want someone like me sober.

'Drunk or not, you're still fucking sexy.' His words were engraved into my brain. How I wanted them to be true so badly; to be wanted by anyone. But to be wanted by someone that I wanted was too much to ask. Did I even really want him after he did that to my car? After he labeled me in such a way that tore at my heart in painful ways?

I didn't even know the answer to that.

The bell rung, and I watched as Liam practically jumped out of his seat and out of the class without another glance towards me, leaving Louis behind. Louis just rolled his eyes as he collected his stuff and followed Liam out of the room.

I took my time collecting my stuff, processing the fact that Liam left the class in such a hurry. I got up slowly and made my way to the door.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Nathan looking at me. He saw me, and he recognized me. My heart rate increased as I walled to my wood shop class even quicker. Even if I didn't really know what happened between him and Liam yesterday, I knew for a fact that I didn't want Nathan anywhere near me.