Little Shepherd

Chapter 14

It's been a long tiring day in the ER helping with the overflow from the dead baby bike race. Derek is exhausted and so ready to go pick up his baby girl and go home. Meredith crosses his mind as he's walking out of the attending's locker room, and before he knows it he's walking towards the interns locker room. It's the end of shift for them too, maybe if he's lucky he'll catch her before she leaves. Sure enough as he gets close to the doorway leading into the locker room he hears her screaming at someone.

"You wanna take credit for your saves and everyone else's?" He opens the door and walks into the room, surprised to find Alex Karev pinned to one of the lockers, Meredith's little hands wrapped tightly around fistfuls of his scrub top. "That's fine too. Just stay outta my face." She says to him as Derek gawks at them. "And for the record." She spits angrily as she grabs Alex's face, forcing him to look her directly in the eyes. "You smell like crap." She gives him one last hard push against the lockers before she drops her hands, both of them finally turning their attention to Derek. Anger boils in his stomach, he can't fathom the thought of what Karev must have done to make her react that way. He slowly walks up to them as Meredith walks back to her own locker. He seriously contemplates hitting him, but he knows he can't put himself at risk like that. Not when he has Josie to look out for. He looks from Meredith whose nose is pinched tightly between her fingers, back to Alex who still stands with his back against the locker.

"She attacked me." Alex says to him. Meredith turns and launches herself at Alex at those words, anger steaming out of her. Derek rushes to get in between them, catching Meredith by her upper arms.

"Meri...Meri...meri" He says trying to calm her as he gently pushes her back away from Alex. She fights him pressing herself against his stomach trying to push them back towards Alex, but it's no use Derek is so much stronger than her. She stops fighting allowing Derek to drop her arms and spin back to face Alex. Meredith stands behind him breathing so heavily with rage that Derek can feel the warmth of her breath on the back of his neck.

"You might want to leave before I change my mind and let her beat you to a pulp with her tiny ineffectual fists" Derek says to him. He takes Alex by the arm and walks him out of the room. He pushes him out of the door and slams it in his face before turning back to Meredith. He sighs as he watches her curiously from across the locker room. She stops and stares at him. "What?" He asks her gently.

"Nothing." She turns back to her locker, grabbing her jacket. "Its just..." She pauses for a long time. "Nothing." She says again. She slams her locker closed and storms across the room. He opens the door and she stops, staring at him for a few moments before leaving without another word. He stands there, soaking up what in the world just happened. He doesn't understand her, but he wants to. She's unusual, different than anyone else he's ever met. There's just something about her that makes her so intoxicating. He just can't get her out of his head, no amount of logic or rejection seems to shake it. He takes a deep breath, bringing himself back to focus. He's got another girl he needs to focus on. The most important girl, his baby.

He picks her up from daycare, and takes her home. He kicks off his shoes the second they walk in, sighing in relief. After the day they've both had he's beyond glad to have his little girl safe back home. The incident with the bikes this morning really must have shaken her, she's barely spoken since he picked her up. She slumps on the couch quietly. She doesn't whine for dinner, or ask him to play, she just sits there in silence. Derek drops his briefcase on the kitchen chair where it always goes and then joins her on the couch. He doesn't break the silence, he sits there and thinks about the right things to say. Does he try to make her talk about it? Does he try to distract her and wait for her to bring it up? He truly doesn't know.

"You okay little bear?" He asks her gently after awhile. She shrugs. "Do you wanna talk about it?" She looks up at him, her big blue eyes filled to the brim with tears. "Oh baby..." He whispers as he wraps his arms around her. She snuggles into his chest, clinging to his shirt as the tears begin to fall. Her tiny cries ripping holes in his heart. He wants more than anything to take all of her pain away. "It's okay. it's okay." he whispers softly as he rubs her back. He holds her tight, praying that he can bring her some sort of comfort. After a few moments she finally speaks.

"Daddy?" her voice is hardly even a whisper.

"Yeah baby?" He asks softly.

"If the crazy man on the bike woulda smushed me like my babydoll....." She pauses for a second, her voice cracking in a sob. "do...do you think mommy woulda come?" Derek's blood runs cold, the question mortifying him. His sweet perfect baby girl had not only absorbed more of the trauma of this morning's incident than he had realized, but she also cared more about the fact that maybe her mommy would have finally come back than the fact that she could have been seriously hurt. His heart shatters.

"Oh baby..." He says again, holding her even tighter. "Of course she would have...." He pauses to kiss the top of her head. "Of course she would have." He repeats, choking back on his own tears. His poor baby. "Your mommy loves you so much, she just..she's just..." He doesn't even know how to finish that sentence.

"Then she would have called!" Josie sobs. "She gave her wove to Uncle Mark, if she woved me she wouldn't have given it all away!"

"No, Josie no..." He says gently. He pulls away from her just enough so that he can look her in the eye. "Baby your mom, she...she loves you so much. She gave away daddy's love not yours. You will forever be the best thing that ever happened to both of us, okay? You are the most beautiful, strong, kind hearted little girl I have ever met and nothing...nothing your mommy did or will ever do will change how incredibly loved you are." He realizes now how much his child is hurting, he feels like a failure. He questions if he should have taken her with him, away from her own mother. Was it selfish? He could never imagine leaving her behind. She's his whole heart, his partner in crime, his other half, but she's hurting and he doesn't know how to make it all better this time.

"I wove you daddy." She says before taking a few fast deep breaths.

"I love you too little bear, so so much." He replies through tears. She sniffles, looking up at him again. She takes her tiny hands and wipes his tears away.

"I'm sowwy daddy, don't be sad. I didn't mean it...I'm sowwy...don't cwy....i'm sowwy" She begs.

"Hey no...no don't be sorry. It's okay to be sad sometimes, it's okay to talk about your feelings, it's okay to cry. You went through something really hard, it's okay to be upset about it."

"Weally?" she asks, her breaths finally normalizing. He nods, tucking some of her fiery red hair behind her ear.

"Yeah baby.....and daddy will always be here to try and make it all better." He kisses her forehead lovingly. "Everything's going to be okay. I promise."