Little Shepherd

Chapter 24

Derek dreads the day ahead of him from the second that he opens his eyes. Having to face Addison all day at work is going to be a nightmare. He worries for Meredith more than anything. Addison is known for her flare of dramatics, he can't even imagine what she holds in store for today. He plans to confront Richard. He doesn't understand why the man he's become so close to would betray him like this. He needs answers. Josie didn't deserve that kind of reunion, even a tiny heads up would have been better than that fiasco. He's sitting at the kitchen table with her and Meredith and decides to carefully bring it up.

"Hey jojo, can we talk about yesterday?" He asks gently. She shrugs hardly looking up from the breakfast that she's barely touched.

"I know it must be really hard for you, seeing mommy again like that." He says. She nods. "You know how mommy is a doctor like daddy right?"

"Mhm but for babies in the belly." She says quietly.

"That's right and I'm sure you heard her say that Uncle Richard asked her to come here to help with a patient." She nods again. "So that means that mommy is going to be around the hospital a lot. She'll be working there with Meredith and I." He explains. Josie finally looks up.

"She'll be there everyday?" She asks.

"I'm not sure for how long but yes for now she'll be there everyday."

"Will I see her?" She asks. Derek can't decipher the tone of her voice. Dread? Excitement? General curiosity?

"You may. Passing in the halls, the cafeteria. I know things are really confusing right now, but if you do decide you want to see her, you can. She's still your mom and I wouldn't be upset." He tells her softly. She looks to Meredith with big eyes and Meredith picks up on the silent question between them.

"Neither will I. She's still your mommy. Nothing will change how much I care about you, okay? I'm not going anywhere no matter what you choose." Meredith takes her little hand and runs her thumb gently across the back of it. Josie climbs down out of seat and up into Merediths lap. She cuddles into her chest, tangling her fingers into Merediths shirt. Meredith rocks her a bit.

"We love you so much Josie, we only want you to be happy." She whispers to the child, kissing the top of her head.

"I wove you too mama" she replies meakly.

"You're so brave and strong and we're so proud of you. Everything is going to be okay."

When it's time for them to leave Josie at daycare she completely melts down. She's never been like this. She's always so happy and level headed and insanely mature for her age but today the burden of everything going on is just too heavy for her to carry. Derek squats down in front of her.

"I know baby I'm sorry, I wish I didn't have to work today."

"Pwease don't weave me daddy." She cries. He runs a hand over her hair trying to comfort her.

"Baby I promise you I will come see you every chance I can. You know how important my work is love." He says gently. She nods even tho all she wants to do is stay with them.

"You're going to have so much fun with your friends you won't even notice we're not here." Meredith offers with a kind smile.

"Everything okay?" One of the woman that works at the daycare center asks. Derek stands and pulls her aside explaining what's going on. When she comes back she takes a sobbing Josie into her arms.

"Don't worry, she'll be fine in a few minutes. You'd be surprised how quickly they bounce back." She flashes them a cheery smile.

"Bye baby, have a good day. We'll see you soon." Derek says to Josie as the woman carries her away. She reaches for them calling for her daddy as the door shuts between them closing out her cries. Derek rests his hands on his face, the whole interaction shattering his heart. Meredith places a supportive hand on his arm.

"I can't stand seeing her this way." He tells her.

"I wish we could just scoop her up and take her home." Meredith says in agreement. Derek sighs.

"Its gonna be a long day."

Not much later after parting with Meredith he bumps into Addison in an elevator. The only other occupant steps out leaving them alone in silence. He can feel her eyes burrowing into the back of his head.

"How's Josie? Is she okay?" She asks sounding genuinely concerned.

"Now you're going to ask how she's doing? After everything you put her through?"

"You're the one that took her away from everything she's ever known. Come on Derek what are you even doing here? You just pick up and leave everything? Your house, your practice, your friends? You had a life in Manhattan. She had a life there."

"Had." He says shortly.

"And now you have a girlfriend in Seattle. She seems sweet."

"The ice you're on. Thin."

"She's young. That whole wide-eyed, ooh he's-a-brain-surgeon thing is happening, but still sweet. Which was what you were going for, right? The anti-Addison?"

"If you came out here to try and win me back, forget about it. You're wasting your time."

"Oh I did. I flew all the way across the country to reminisce over wedding photos, get drunk, fall into bed, and make you realize you can't live without me." She says sarcastically while the reality of her comment eats her alive. "Relax. Derek, I told you I'm here for work. I'm helping the TTTS case you guys admitted last week." The elevator dings and Derek rushes out the second the doors open. Addison follows right on his heels. He stops and turns to face her so suddenly that she almost bumps into him.

"Wasn't breaking her heart the first time enough for you? Why? Why would you come here and do this to us, to her?"

"She's just a clueless child Derek she never would have known to be angry with me if you hadn't put it in her head." Derek scoffs.

"If you knew her at all you'd know that's bullshit Addison. You know, there was an accident not long after we moved here. She was almost run over by a bunch of drunk idiots on bicycles. She dropped her doll as she was pulled out of the way literal milli seconds from being crushed. Her doll was destroyed and after all of it you know what she asked me? You know what that perfect little girl was thinking about?" He doesn't give her a chance to reply. "She asked me if it had been her that got crushed instead of her doll if you would have shown up. That 'clueless child' wanted to know if her mommy would have come for her if she was hurt because she wasn't enough for a single fucking phone call." He whispers angrily trying his best not to make a scene. Addison gawks at him.

"I...I didn't know.." she answers in shock.

"Of course you didn't. You couldn't have because you didn't bother to answer your cell. You can say whatever you want about me and my choices and how we ended up here but don't you ever think for a second that that amazing, smart little girl is anything less than extraordinary. She knows. She's understands. And she's left to cope with the wake of our mess. Her not wanting to see you. That's on you." He turns and storms away before she can say another word.