Little Shepherd

Chapter 26

"She'll need a lumbar tap to know for sure." Bailey informs them even though they all already know. Derek nods.

"Can you put her under? She can't handle that kind of pain. She shouldn't have to." He asks teary eyed.

"Yes of course, if she moves even an inch during the procedure it could paralyze her. It'll be better this way." They all nod in agreement.

"I can't believe this is happening." Addison sobs.

"She's strong. She'll beat this." Meredith assures them even though she's barely holding herself together. The sight of the little girl that she adores so much collapsed with weakness and pain in a hospital bed kills her but if she lets it in, if she gives it power, she'll fall apart completely. So instead she clings to hope and to science. They're doctors they know the medicine, they know the odds. Which if she thinks about it is even more terrifying than the unknown. Josie has to be strong. She has to fight. Bailey wheels the unconscious child of the room. Derek runs his hangs through his hair and paces anxiously.

"Derek.." Meredith whispers gently. He stops pacing and looks to her. She knows no matter what she says her words will fall short. No amount of words can ease what he's feeling right now so instead she wraps her arms around his waist. He immediately crumples into her embrace, giving in to the utter fear and sadness that has been growing with each passing moment. His head drops against her shoulder and she feels his quiet tears as they soak through her scrub top. She doesn't say a word, she just holds him and lets him cry. She can feel Addisons eyes burning holes in her back but she couldn't care less. All she cares about right now is the man she loves and his child. The child she's grown to love as her own.

Bailey brings her back before long, but her condition has continued to decline. The medications they've tried aren't working. Her fever has gone up instead of down. She's still out cold from the anesthesia so she seems almost restful. Her tiny body lays completely limp against the hospital bed. Her face is bright red and clammy and the rash has spread up her chest and down her arms. Meredith and Derek rejoin her at her bedside.

"I'll be back with the test results as soon as I have them. Page me if you need anything." She says before leaving again.

"Her body can't handle this type of temperature much longer." Derek says quietly.

"What can we do?" Meredith asks, hoping that he has a plan.

"I.." before he can even answer Josie starts to seize. Addison cries out hysterically as her baby shakes and spasms uncontrollably. Derek uses his little flashlight to check her eyes.

"Damn it, her brain is swelling!" He knows the protocols, he knows the rules but he doesn't care. By the time they call a code and someone gets here it could already be too late. "Meredith push 150cc mannitol. Addison call the code, page Bailey and somebody get me some more fucking ice!" He screams. Soon the room is swarmed with staff. The proper doctors and nurses take over and administer any other medications she needs and soon her little body lays still once again. Addison stands in the corner sobbing while Derek clings to the side of Josies bed like his life depends on it. Bailey joins the crowded room.

"What the hell happened?" She asks worriedly.

"Cerebral edema. She seized. Doctor Grey and Doctor Shepherd acted quickly and hopefully administered the medication fast enough."

"Hopefully?" Addison mutters. She's a surgeon she knows what they mean but her mom brain refuses to except it.

"Her brain is swollen. She seized Addison you know what that means." Derek snaps back.

"No." She sobs.

"We can't jump to conclusions yet." Meredith says weakly. "Give her time. We'll treat the problem and when she wakes up we'll know."