Parakeets

[29]

[Impossible - James Arthur]
> once finished with the first song listen to
[butterflies repose- Zabawa]

The ticking of the clock hanging on the kitchen wall, the tapping of sapnaps fingers anxiously against the table, karls shaky breaths and the sound of alex's leg bouncing were the only sounds filling the kitchen.

Such small, subtle sounds yet they sounded painfully loud, ear aching, tormenting.

Neither of the three knew where to start.

Alex and sapnap were sat beside eachother staring karl down.

"i don't like when you two stare at me" karl mumbled wiping his eyes

"it's hard not to after finding something like that out" alex mumbled
"you were only with me at first to keep track on me when bad couldn't weren't you" sapnap looked up meeting karls eyes yet karl quickly looked away unable to maintain eye contact
"well yeah but-"
"i don't want to hear it karl, i've heard enough" sapnap sounded defeated, deflated and hurt. Like the final air falling from a balloon as it flattened.

"karl do you really think you being here right now is the best idea?" alex raised an eyebrow
"no"
"then why are you still here, just fuck off already"
"i don't have anywhere to go-"
"not my problem, you're a fucking traitor"

Karl stood, the screech of the chair on the tiles below. "Fine" He mumbled, not long after the sound of the front door slamming was heard, sapnap finally broke down.

Alex turned to him, "it's kind of ironic, isn't it" Alex chuckled trying to make light of the dark situation, he brushed sapnaps tears away.
"It started off with us hating eachother, karl scheming around with me to it just being me and you" Alex took sapnaps hand and kissed it

Sapnap didn't say a word, alex opened his arms and sapnap simply fell into them holding him tight.

In reality, sapnap shouldve been angry.
He should have let all the sour words and all the toxic thoughts out, he should've screamed them from the rooftops but instead he didn't, he couldn't bring himself to.

He was lambast towards himself, tearing himself up. He believed he let this happen, for years- decades he'd let karl walk over him, sapnap let karl get away with everything. All for what? Love? because obviously that worked out so well for him.

The truth is; he should've known something was up. Nothing ever felt real with karl, nothing but a mere distraction. Was sapnap really ever in love with him or was it just a placebo? Things felt better when karl was around, he felt safe. Hell, Sapnap was more than willing to give his life for karls on multiple occasions.

But what if karl was being sincere when he said he'd fallen for him and alex, but then again he was manipulative- he was dexterous in the way he spoke to sapnap, incredibly convincing; he always knew how to make sapnap crumble in his hands- making him give in.

all we had is gone now
tell them i was happy
and my heart is broken

Sapnap felt completely and utterly distressed as if the world he'd spent so long building just fell before him, crashing to the ground like every prophecy no longer had meaning as if every bird and small animal just stood silent. All he could do was stand and observe as his heart broke inside of him, as his eye welled with tears and his nose became blocked and irritating to breathe from.

He wanted to seclude himself, go off the radar, but his eyes met alex's and he knew that wasn't right- it wasn't morally correct to abandon somebody who genuinely cared for him, someone that hated him at first but had now come to be his closest companion, now his partner through life.

His hands shook as he took alex's much smaller, finer hands he squeezed tightly once again meeting alex's eyes noticing the small peak of a smile begin to form at the corner of his thin lips. It seemed- no it was like peace, finally peace after so much stress and anxiety. Alex brought him comfort.

His beauteous eyes, the soft browns and yellows flowing throughout similar to the deepest, purest honey, he was pulchritudinous. Never had sapnap imagined in a hundred years he'd be describing another man that wasn't karl in such a way, seeing such beauty in another's eyes.

"You seem to be lost in thought" alex chuckled
Sapnap smiled, it was weak against his tear stained cheeks but it was genuine, he put his hand to alex's cheek.

"I'm just thankful i have you, it hasn't been long but you've shown me more genuine care and love than karl provided in all those years" Sapnaps eyes rested as he continued to focus on every fine feature on alex's face.

"I won't be going anywhere, we can get through this together, the circumstances we became close through were cruel but after all they brought us to this point" Alex placed his hand on-top of sapnaps.

"To think it started with stupid calls and streams- to this" Sapnap let out a small chuckle
"i wouldn't have it any other way"
"Neither"
"Well maybe i'd change the fact karl turned out to be a not so great guy" Alex frowned
"Everything will work out, i can feel it"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I'm not sure yet, i just know things will fall into place, they always do"

Sapnap rested his head on alex's shoulder, the movement hurt his back slightly due to alex being shorter but the action was comforting.

Once again the room was nothing but the sound of the clock ticking.

A/N

any theories ?

[ psssst love u guys :] ]
also fun fact

the nature reserve mentioned is actually a real place and there is real parakeets and deer there :]

it's in east london i visited there once and thought it was so beautiful i'd dedicate a segment to it :]