We Belong Together || Draco Malfoy X Reader

109| A Subtle Diversion

Y/N POV

Things got a little awkward in my relationship with Draco ever since I had acknowledged the fact that he was hiding something and he might have been feeling at fault for the barrier he constructed to separate us from thinking clearly and merely understand one another like we used to.

I didn't blame him on that; the irony of fate was the one to blame as it put us in such a complicated circumstance where it felt so hard to inhale the air, even worse when we had to exhale it since it felt like our souls were scraped to dust before being withdrawn outside along with the residue of our breaths.

Draco looked fine – if I pigeonholed the times the look of effete was painted over his sharp yet what-appeared-to-be faineant face.

The jaded gaze that stuck on the ceiling when he was supposed to be in repose after his long day of studying and working out was one of the many things he did which I couldn't pretend to not notice. It looked like he had an ocean of problems filling the space in the back of his head, waiting to be contemplated and solved.

And he chose to do it at nights rather than the days.

He made me stay awake too without realising but I assured myself it was a good thing, at least his problems still pierce a concern to my little stubborn heart who in all honesty, preferred to ignore things for the time being.

Sometimes he cuddled and kissed. Sometimes he squeezed my hand. And sometimes he, too, let out pressed sobs as low as he could.

Then he apologised for no reasons.

Multiple times, as if he was performing an act of expiation to the Lord. However, the only name that was spoken was mine, Y/N Richards.

Y/N, love, I'm sorry.

I'm a failure, Y/N. I'm failing you.

But I'm doing it for your own good. I do things for you, Y/N. Don't hate me, my love.

I can bear anyone's odiousness but yours for me means the end.

Something like those, over and over again; it made a twinge in my heart every time I overheard them in my slumbering play pretend.

I had decided that none of his problems would bother us tonight. If the distress talk occurred again, I would stop it in any way I could. He would have to go to sleep.

"I'm shutting out the lights," he mumbled after he finished covering me with 3 layers of blanket. Frankly, it suffocated me but the way he lifted and tucked the heavy fabric around me had some distinct meanings of care that held me from protesting.

"Good night, Draco. I love you," I said, turning to his side.

Silence appeared.

Wow.

He didn't say anything back; how rude.

A few minutes rolled by with sheer silence. I bet he was brooding over the issues he held in the heart now. And so, my aforethought play pretend commenced.

I whimpered quietly, moving little by little to catch his attention, distracting him from the wearisome thoughts. It worked as I planned, he wrapped an arm around me so lovingly that I hesitated to continue the play because the main context of this fake act was to lie – I was breaking the promise as well.

"I'm here, Y/N. You're safe with me."

Is this the start?

"It's all my fault, I'm sorry, love."

"I can't seem to let you go and now I'm trapping you within my incompetence." 

He exhaled onerously, stroking my hair then my cheek; it stopped for a second when he reached my lips. His thumb gently pressed over them and my needy arse desired a taste of his lips on mine but what I got was a peck on the forehead – a simple kiss yet it was known to express the protective side of the kisser.