Unrealistic

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Eric

 

The walls of the hospital waiting room were a creamy beige sort of color. The kind that makes people who aren’t sick want to barf it’s so bland. Be’s dad is sitting next to me his knees spread apart elbows resting on his thighs so his head can lay uncomfortably in the palms of his hands. I lean back against the wall and glance around again at the empty salmon colored chairs.

“It’s probably nothing ya know? She must just be worried about taking the ACT when we go back to school. Maybe she just doesn’t realize how stressed she is about this,” I lie. We both know that Be is a straight A student and hasn’t stressed over school a day in her life.

“That must be it,” he nodded without ever lifting his face from his hands. “It must,” he mumbled quietly to himself.

A young woman in pink scrubs comes out of the wooden door that divides the building. She spares a quick look at the worn clipboard in her hands before speaking.

“You two with Phoebe Lynn?” she continues without waiting for an answer. “Follow me.”

We are lead through the weaving halls of exam rooms and supply closets to the last room at the end of the hall. Dr. Jen’s office door loomed in front of us. The young nurse cracked the door for us and after a sweeping hand gesture to enter left us alone in the hall.

Be’s dad slowly tapped the door all the way open to reveal Dr. Jen’s office. I see Be sitting hunched over in one of the client chairs across from Dr. Jen.

“Please, sit we have much to discuss.” He waved to the empty seats on our side of the desk. “Mr. Lynn how long has this been going on?”

“A little more than a month or so I guess.”

“Have you noticed anything like frequent fevers, infections, weight loss, or anything that feels like the flu?” he extends his vision to Be and she lowers her head.

“I got really sick last week but I’m mostly over it now. What does any of that have to do with me being tired all the time?” Be’s voice grew louder as she asked him about her diagnosis.

“The only way to be sure is to proceed with a spinal tap, then we will know how bad it is,” Dr. Jen stood and lead Be out of the office. “Mr. Lynn and… Eric you all can wait in here.”

~~~

I paced the room until Dr. Jen returned, Be safe beside him. It took only three long strides to reach her.

“Are you okay?” I ask reaching for her hand. She didn’t respond.

“If everyone can take a seat I can continue,” Dr. Jen gave me a pointed look. I guided Be over to the chair that sat empty between myself and her father. “I am sorry to say your daughter has acute lymphoblastic leukemia also referred to as ALL. Although most young children recover fully, I am almost certain that Phoebe has reached the age which the success rate of chemotherapy is much lower…”

My chest tightened and my heart dropped into my stomach. Phoebe would make it, she is strong, and she would never just give up and leave. I wish these words were more believable.

“…I would give her four to six months since the cancer has almost completely taken over. We can try different treatment options but that will not cure her, only prolong her life. If you all could step out into the waiting room so I can speak with Mr. Lynn,” Dr. Jen continued motioning to myself and Be.

Still holding Be’s wrist I pull her with me into the waiting room. We sit against the far wall away from an older man and his grandson by the check in desk.

A soon as we brush against the chairs she collapses into tears. I reach my arms around her trembling form and smooth her hair down with one hand. I don’t tell her it’s going to be okay; I promised to never lie to her.

“I will never go back to school,” Be hiccupped. “I will never be famous. I will never go to university or get a job. I won’t see my sister grow up,” she sobbed into my ear. “I will never travel the world, learn to drive, fall in love, or move out of the house.”

My heart broke, Be deserves to live. What has she done that is so horribly wrong? People always told me that life wasn’t fair but this seemed ridiculous. She was the sweetest person I’ve ever met; she shouldn’t have to face a fate like this.

Part of me still can’t wrap my head around my best friend dying. We were going to get part time jobs this year. I was going to buy her the puppy she always wanted for our graduation, she never got to have one because her dad was allergic. Later we would go to college together, she wanted to major in psychiatry so she could help people.

“I’m sorry Be. I wish I could fix this, but only you can. You can make it through this just like the bullies in eighth grade and when Mark broke up with you freshman year. You’ll make it through this just like you did with them,” I reassured her. Her crying had almost completely stopped but she hadn’t moved away from me.

“Thanks Eric,” she sniffled. “I promise I’ll try and if you ever think for just a second that I’ve stopped trying-”

“You will not stop trying,” I lifted her head off my shoulder and looked at her with unmoving eyes. She nodded at me with red blotchy cheeks before laying her head down again.

We waited for hours with no sign of Dr. Jen or Be’s dad. Be had drifted off to sleep a few minutes ago and I felt myself following her. I desperately tried to stay awake eager to hear about the treatment that could save the girl beside me.  I felt my eyes close, then my head drooped towards Be, and before I knew it I was asleep.