Unrealistic

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Eric

Dr. Jen recommended we begin chemotherapy as soon as possible. Once Be was scheduled to come in the next day for treatment we left out the clear glass doors and made the dreadful walk to the car. Thankfully Be was still half asleep so we didn’t have to talk to her about her situation.

Be starred mindlessly out the window, her head bobbing every few seconds. She drifted to sleep just as we pulled into my driveway. Mr. Lynn put the car in park but never shut off the engine.

“Would you like to come tomorrow?” he asked glanced at me over his shoulder.

“I am going to be there for her through all of this; not just tomorrow’s treatment but every treatment after that,” I reply. “As long as Be wants me there I’ll be there.”

I open the door but Be’s dad stops me. “You are a good kid and you’ve always been there for her. I understand if you want to start leaving now, that way it will hurt less in the end.”

“I could never leave Be like this. How could I?” I am shocked at Mr. Lynn’s suggestion.

“Like I said you’re a good kid. Thank you for being there for her and for all the times you will be there for her. I know that if you support her she will get through this,” his voice stayed solemn and serious.

“She will, she will get through this just fine,” I hope.

He nods at me and I step out of the car to watch as he drives away. I unlock the front door and refasten it shut behind me. I don’t even have to ask if someone is home I know the place is empty.

My house is laid out differently than most. The entire main floor is open concept with a kitchen, dining room, and living room. In each back corner are identical metallic spiral staircases. The left leads to my parent’s room and bathroom; the right to my room and bathroom. I think they just bought this house to forget about me ‘the accident child’ but I don’t mind too much, I’ve always had Be.

I climb the stairs to my room and open the single window across from the doorway. My bed and its forest green comforter are in the alcove to my right and opposite that is my dresser. Above my dresser, attached to the wall is a TV; something else my parents use to keep me up here and out of their sight. Last but not least is the bathroom that branches off to the immediate left of the door.

I sigh and collapse on my bed. My fingers run through my hair of their own accord. I look to my nightstand where my laptop rests beside a picture of Be and I sticking our tongues out at the camera. She will be fine, I insist.

The pessimistic side of my mind is still screaming, what if it isn’t going to be fine? I entertain the possibility for a moment and realize what this must be like for Be. I consider what I would feel like if I had been diagnosed with leukemia and the doctor said I might die. The first thought that came to my mind was how helpless I would feel. There is nothing that I can do myself to keep from dying. She must feel powerless over her own life.

I pull my laptop onto my bed next to me and start searching. I don’t care what it takes to make Be feel in control of her life again but whatever it is I will find it and make it happen.

What feels like hours later I finally decide that the most stressful part of possibly dying is not feeling like your life was complete. The only way to feel like your life is complete is do all the things you want before it is over. Just in case Be can’t make it she should have a bucket list so she can feel like she has accomplished life.

I dash across the room to my back pack from last school year and pulled out an unused notebook. I crawled back in bed and started the draft list. I did my best to recall all the things Be ever said she wanted to do. Not too much later I had compiled quite a hefty list.

BE’S (just in case) BUCKET LIST

Own a Vietnamese Pig

Make Lanterns (Like the ones from Tangled)

Get a Tattoo

Bake a Layered Rainbow Cake

Learn to Ballroom Dance (Like in Tangled)

Sleep Under the Stars

Swim with Dolphins

Go to a Drive In

Dye her hair Blonde (Like Rapunzel in Tangled)

I know that there are more things that Be would like to do and I just don’t know about them but we can add those together later. I did know that she loved Tangled and if she could become Rapunzel she would without a second thought. Most of the list was things she said she wanted to do before she graduated. Her dad said that he would never let her get a tattoo before graduation but maybe the new circumstances will change his mind.

Be and I can work on cutting items and adding others while she is in treatment tomorrow. I hope the bucket list will help take her mind off the chemotherapy.