Psychosis

Yuki's Point of View

I was pouring my heart out to her, the feelings I've felt that first day I saw her.

"Yuki..."

Her gentle and beautiful voice rang in my ears like bells.

"Yes Amaya?"

She looked up at me with her beautiful grey eyes, spotted with blue.

"You mentioned earlier...of your life story...what was it?"

I had gotten closer to her, I wrapped an arm around her gently.

"I'll tell you Amaya..."

FLASHBACK

I was little, very little...as far as I could remember.

I lived in Germany, I always hated the cold.

My father was a bad drinker...my mother was innocent.

Arguments...every day...

Every night...

Words my father threatened me with, I became scared of him.

I was always afraid if I were to do something wrong in any way, he would burst...

My mother and father were married, but it wasn't a happy marriage at all.

One cold night, I could overhear their arguing.

I peeked around the corner to see what was going on this time.

There...I saw my mother...

Sitting on our couch...

With a loaded gun, the barrel placed on her temple...

The holder of the gun...

Was my father...

"WHAT'D YOU SAY TO ME YOU FUCKING BITCH!? YOU SCARED TO TALK NOW HUH!? DON'T THINK I WON'T PULL THIS GOD DAMN TRIGGER!!!"

He yelled at her loudly.

She had not fear in her eyes...

But rage.

"Go ahead!!! PULL IT!!! ITS NOT LIKE ANYONE WOULD CARE ANYWAYS!!! JUST REMEMBER YOU HAVE KIDS TO WORRY ABOUT WHEN I'M GONE!!! THEN YOU CAN TELL THEM WHAT HAPPENED TO THEIR MOTHER!!!"

She yelled at him, still sitting on the couch.

You're wrong mom...

I thought holding back tears.

The next morning, my father was gone.

I looked over at my mother, she looked very sad....and I understood why.

I looked over at my brother, Rinsu, who was happy.

My mother came over to both of us.

"Boys, we're not gonna be living with your father anymore."

Rinsu looked upset.

"Why mom? Why are we leaving dad? Won't he miss us?"

I looked at the ground.

My mother had tears streaming down her face...she shook her head.

"He doesn't miss anyone...we're leaving here and moving."

Rinsu looked sad.

I could only imagine how my mother felt.

Rinsu went into his room and got his things together, as he did, I spoke with my mother.

"I saw what happened mom...I heard it too."

She looked angered and then began to cry.

"I'm sorry you had to see that Yuki...he wasn't himself again...I can't handle not knowing when he's drunk or coming down off his drugs or not, pack your things Yuki, we're leaving now."

I nodded, gave her a hug, and got my things together.

A few years later living in the United States, the bills became difficult to pay.

My mother tried to date guys that could help out with them.

They all were the same like my father, they treated her like crap.

She still lives with the one who almost got her arrested for 'domestic abuse'.

I couldn't stand him.

He drinks everyday, he's always on drugs...he stole my mothers pain pills.

17 out of the whole bottle...very little left

She had a bad back and kidney, not even her loritabs were working well.

The doctor discontinued her small dose of valium, which seemed to help her very much.

Her nerves are a wreck...

I had to get out...

All the drama...

Even though we had all of those things going on in our home, I was always bullied.

Everyday at school.

They called me many hurtful names...mainly because of my braces that I was fortunate enough to get.

The bullying and home life I had turned me cold.

I vowed to never do any of what happened to me to anyone else.

FLASHBACK ENDS

"I tell myself...everyday...if I were to have a wife, I would never think to do anything what my father had done to my mother...I would care for her very much, love her unconditionally. Amaya, only you know my story...thank you for listening..."

When I looked at her, she had tears coming down her face slowly.

I wiped them away.

"Its all over now Amaya, you don't need to be upset."

"I understand your pain...I'm sorry you felt it..."

Her voice was sad and breaking, I hugged her tightly.

Poor Amaya...