I Will Find My Own Sky

Our Laughter Stopped.

There is lovemaking
There is sleeping together
There is no strings attached

There is I let you hit , you pay
There is I eat you, you eat me

There is just touching
The gentle kind touching

There is devouring
The rough , savage sort of touching

Then there are situationships
These we can't define because we don't even understand what is happening.

You see ,
All this labels are not bad,
Well, depending on where you are standing.

Me and my fellow young bloods,
When it comes to doing these things...
Playing with feelings especially
We are good
Am saying we play good
We bring our A game and go all the way
We are constantly experimenting
No, our hearts have lied to us,
We are learning.
And we have listened , embraced it
And seriously made it our lifestyle.

"Do virgins even exist?"
You will hear us jokingly ask over a casual round of cheap keg.
A loud uncultured laughter follows,
While deep inside,
We wish we could be .

We have made it all seem okay,
Made peace with it even,
But it's not .

Because again comes,
The hurting,
The ghosting
Unreceptive love
And to be not felt special.

Then comes,
The sad girl hours,
The sad boy hours
The sad status updates
The trauma
The rope, the pills, the razors, the knives,
The endgame.

Everyone then says ,
They didn't see it coming
You saw it,
We brought and introduced them to you..
We even laughed together.
Only you didn't notice when our laughing stopped.