Freedom of positivity

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I am seated where broken hearts go to cry.
Not because love died,
Because my luck is down.
And my thoughts are all over the place.

I feel weak,
Too small
Too sad
Too depressed
Too nervous
And it's wearing, everything is wearing.

I seek the kind of freedom,
That comes from thinking positively
When things touch  rock bottom.
I seek a place  where
Regrets need to stop,
Tears need to be washed away,
Downs  and rock bottoms embraced patiently
In a certain way that makes
my thoughts feel safe in my mind.
That sorta of freedom that makes
ones  thoughts and actions flow together without tension.

I tried to find it in
YouTube channels, podcasts, motivational quotes,
And my poetries.
These were either too happy
Or too sad,
They made me sick.
They made me feel weak.

Perhaps In this confused world that I exist,
I would find it fast In  the connections I made with people.
So I display my body on  the bedsheets,
Gracefully, nice as a good snack
And lean towards him, and say  In that soft voice
" Come on lover man, jump on me"
I didn't find it here either.

It's like joy out of a fire
Like shinning while you are fading
It's a force we find within us slowly
Because trying to build what to think,
When  you are not decided Is such a thankless idea,
That you try to approach things positively
Only for a  single negative thought, just one
To bend your little heaven.
     .... cece.ewrites





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