Magnolia in May [H.S]

Part seventy-one

"In the middle of the pourin' rain,"
"'Cause I adored you,"

"I just wanted things to be the same."

"You said to meet me up there tomorrow,"
"But tomorrow never came."
"Tomorrow never came."

"'Cause if I had my way,"
"You would always stay,"
"And you'd be my tiny dancer, baby."

Harry

-- -

This past week was a blur, rainy night street lights kind of a blur. A thick fog covered my entire sight and thought process. Each day blistered by at a racing pace, a series of late-night shifts at Clem's, practice with Rory here and there. Niall peeling me out of bed to go on a run with him. Before I knew it, more than a handful of days had passed. And that meant it had been over a week since Easter.

It felt like an eternity, and in the same frequency a half of an hour.

The weird thing is I hadn't heard a peep from Meg, not one. Then again I guess it wasn't weird, she didn't have to talk to me. Indie was rather silent as well, doing nothing more than greeting me at work. Other than that it was like we were just acquaintances. She'd told me on Monday Meg was fine, called her drunk, and left her worried. Eventually, she made her way back to Indie's apartment the next morning, hungover with stained mascara waterfalls. Indie looked drained, I could tell she was peeved with me but didn't have the energy to act on it. She just told me I was a 'cuntbag' and then went back to her quiet, stoic self.

I couldn't blame her, I deserved it.

I fell into the daily mundane routine to hide the fact I was cracking under the surface. Withdraw from the girl that was constantly on my mind, it was torture thinking about her face and not being able to see it.

So instead, I tried to focus my energy somewhere else. A little more healthy than wallowing in my filth. Filling up my free time on the slopes- which seemed like a total oxymoron considering the night shit broke loose I ended up having an attack. This entire week the phantom pain festered. I went straight into the storm, practicing with Louis and the rest of the team for Vale. Turns out he wasn't joking about me being invited to go with them. I even talked to Zayn, half-ass apologizing for being an asshole - after he made fun of me for 'hanging with the rich boys like him.'

For the sake of my bruised knuckles, I pushed down the urge to knock heads with Louis. Come to find out he's somewhat tolerable when I'm not being such a jealous twat. Still- I didn't like the bastard. Forcing me to spend more time with Zayn instead, of which I didn't mind.

I masked my fear in numbness, keeping my eyes ahead each time I went on the ski lift. I'd remember how it felt having Meg's hand enclasped with mine, distracting me with her mindless mumbling. Through the week things seemed to get a little better- still not entirely perfect.

I'd get back from being on the slopes, just to come home. Reminded of Meg since items of hers were still in my room. The biggest one was the painted road sign I gave her, right up on the wall to the side of my bed. Then I'd lay awake for hours, initially melting away, my sleep interrupted with a nightmare. And fuck, each time that happened I wanted to call Meg and beg her to hold me.

I had no shame when it came to that, ringing her pager here and there while also trying to give her space. She never answered - I didn't blame her either.

The salty-tasting winds trailing through my nose and out my mouth helped the ease of my limbs. Pumping with extra adrenaline at the coastal view, the gravel under the soles of my shoes was slippery with the late April showers. But that didn't stop my pace, tracking up and along the pavement, while my eyes gaped at the yellow-orange tinted sky. Watching the sun slowly seep into the ground, pillowing rays on the swaying waves.