Magnolia in May [H.S]

Part twenty

^^ yuh
***

Magnolia

Two weeks flew by, countless tedious hours on the ice. With practice came perfection and satisfaction. In those dread-less two weeks, I hadn't heard from Styles. Or really seen him. I figured he was avoiding me, or maybe just busy. Nonetheless, it hurt, mostly because I was indeed still upset. And because either way, I didn't get to resolve what happened.

With the time passes the banquet grew nearer, and that resulted in my parents bugging me to find something to wear. To write some mundane speech to perform at it, my social anxiety was none the wiser. In some messed up way, I was looking forward to it, waiting for it to come so I wouldn't have to irrationally stress about it. That I'd be over with, just another memory faded away with the rest.

On the brighter side, the weather seemed to be clearing, warmer temperatures meant more last-minute adventures. Maybe weekend get-aways.

But at its core mind grew with frustration, and the demons poured in. Taunting me with horror. A never-ending spiral of worry.

-- -

Last night...

"I dunno! Maybe because you two didn't fucking tell me you expected me to perform a triple fucking axel!" I shout, the anger boiling inside of me. Whistling like a kettle.

"Louisa!" My father says firmly. "You are going to successfully land one at Regionals, we've talked it over." He gestures to Leighton, she nods. Looking uneasy by my behavior.

"Do I look like Tonya fucking Harding to you! I'm not performing a triple axel!" I grumble, throwing my hands up with aggression.

"I've barely started getting my routine in check and now you want to add a whole other part to it?" My rave only gets louder, them seeming to push me further into inflame.

"This was the plan all along." Leighton chimes in.

"And you just forgot to mention that!" I bellow, rubbing my face with anxiety.

"I'm not going to make up an excuse Magnolia and neither are you!" He shouts back, "It's settled, now get the fuck over yourself and master the jump." He lowers his voice, and yet his tone is more haunting than ever.

I clench my jaw tighter than ever, pressing down so hard it might shatter into a million pieces. The pain from it helps conceal the well of my throat. The words I wanted to scream at him from the top of my lungs. Because what happened before was destined to happen again. And if I dared to fall back into it, it would be his fault. Just like before, I could blame myself but ultimately the root of it is him.

"Maybe one day you'll regret having me work like a circus animal, and when you realize your faults I'll be long gone. Happy without the pester that is you." I say calmly, not letting him win. I choke back the urge to ball, squeezing my fists closed, nails digging into the surface of my skin.

-- -

My feet glide, only the deafening noise of the blade scraping the ice distracts me. Not even the chatter from the stands breaks through the spiraling, nor the loud blaring classical music. My coach shouts commands at me, and even without registering them my body follows them. One after another after another. Though I can barely look at her after conspiring with my father I listen. Any other practice, except today I was trying my hardest not to shatter into a million pieces.

I halt in my tracks when I catch a glimpse of the crowd. Coming to such an abrupt stop my feet slip. I trip over myself, stumbling into a grounded state. With the newfound embarrassment, I rush over to the glass, leaving the ice. I stare back up at the stands, watching as Styles unbeknownst chatting with Rory. His green Swallows jersey, precious curls tied back with an orange bandanna. It's a reflex to gulp at the sight, unable to peel my eyes away from them.

Stop. You can't be doing this.

He peers over at me consciously, still talking to Rory as his eyes stay planted on mine. I make it a point to keep my expression unfazed, not smile or even scowl. But he just smirks, nearly enough it's a shit-eating grin, then turning back to Rory like I wasn't here in the first place.

He's gotta be fucking kidding right?

What on earth is going through his brain, does he not even realize what he does to me?

-- -

The moon glows like a lighthouse, a crescent complementing the array of stars that glittered the night sky with praise. A chilling breeze wafting through the rolled down windows.

Indie sits beside me, applying chapstick in the passenger's seat. My stomach does flips, waiting impatiently to confront what's been clouding my consciousness.

She gestures, shooting me a reassuring look, I smile softly. Letting my face immediately drop after she turns her head. My feet tap, consecutively. With no rhythm or rule, they pounded the floor of my car.

"Thanks for driving me.." She smiles

"Course," I responded. "You okay?" Indie presses, watching my face for clues. "Yep, I'm good..." I mumble

"Just... going through a... rough patch, I guess." She nods, with apprehension. "But I'll be alright, I always am... Aren't I?" I try to joke, lightening the mood. She chuckles at my self-deprecation, I know it's genuine yet I can see the hesitation. She doesn't know where the line is.

I drive into the dead parking lot, gazing at the red glowing sign. It brightened up the surroundings but was no match for the moon. I huff when she waves for me to follow her in. Turning the car off and taking out the keys. I grab my tote bag, sliding the gift in it while grimacing at myself.

Trailing behind her quietly, she goes through the back. Soon, I'm met with the smell of the kitchen, sweet and humid.

"Indigo!" A voice shouts from beside us, I turn to see Harry pacing over. He stops in his tracks when he sees me, pausing. Dropping his expression for a slight second and then continuing to trudge over. He's wearing his usual, beanie. And some sort of band t-shirt tucked under the red apron.

"Styles." She greets, giving him a fist bump.

"Hey Magnolia," He says lower, without the added enthusiasm. I give a curious smile waving passively. Magnolia.. Indie greets me, gesturing bye. I smile, she trails down the hall tying an apron around her.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a moment?" I smile brightly, choking back the urge to tell him off for the other night. But I keep temper, hiding the sass that loves to come out when he's around.

"Urm.. I'm kinda busy right now.." He scratches his head, looking me straight in the eyes, and yet his attention is elsewhere. "Is it important?" He mumbles in an irritated tone. Just give him the damned present and leave.

"Oh, no. No, it's not.... Never mind.... I'll talk to you later.." I shut down my feelings, showing none of them. They drown below the surface, chained in place with the stone-cold expression of my face.

The gift for fucks sake!

"Happy early birthday... By the way.." I almost whisper, rushing as fast as possible out of there. He makes a noise like he's about to say something but doesn't. I don't turn around. Leaving like nothing was wrong though everything was wrong.

-- -

***
Don't forget to comment and vote <3