Magnolia in May [H.S]

Part eighty-five

TW
I want the preface this chapter with saying there will be triggering themes throughout, and also that there are two epilogues coming after. Anyhow, I hope y'all enjoy. *bear hugs*

Regionals

A month later.

Magnolia

— -

My eyes stay closed, colors, vibrations spiraling the empty dark space. Nirvana, adrenaline, psyching me up. The brisk air biting my cheeks, I could just see the redness already. Now in this moment, I couldn't care less, not with the evergrowing pound of my pulse. Overwhelming me into a frenzied turmoil, I suck in tedious sharp breaths, feeling the once again frigid gusts wafting through my throat and then nostrils.

Out, in. Breathe.

A loud overplayed voice repeats in my head, skipping like a broken record, scratched, fuzzy and anything but eerie in presence.  

"Rumour has it Finnely-Morello is going to try her attempt at the triple axel today, her coach, Leighton Antonov is keen on showing her advances during Finnely-Morello's break. In her own words, 'She's made tremendous progress, not only in the sport but her mindset; withholding future greatness.' You heard it here first folks, this is going to be one of many steps into Miss Finn-Morello's glory-abundant career." The loudspeakers mumble nonsense, wording what's already haunting me.

I kept on the consistent rhythm in my chest, focusing on each percussion beat. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Over and over and over as it increased with unforgiving speed. Throbbing in the center of my heaving chest, through the pitter of my veins, barrenness of my eardrums.

Smile, people are looking. Waiting, watching for something extravagant to happen, for my company to grant entertainment, awe.

It's not long before I straighten out, failing to match my mental state to the pristine outside. Tracing my tongue over my parted lips before I bring them together, enhancing my stance with perking fake-flushed cheeks.

A bright piercing smile, blinding to on-seers. Certainly, they were blind to the destruction unfolding over my foggy head. "You're one to talk, Meg. You may fool everyone around here with that stunning smile but you don't fool me." Right at that moment, I accepted defeat, knowing for better or for worse I wanted him to praise my smile for a bit longer. Stare at me with a grin that was so blurred between implying and addictively assuring.

I continue to fool everyone except him, including myself as my arms stiffen together. Like an instrument for my conscious mind, my limbs paint a sloppy reformed picture. Melting out in fuzzy shades of glistening blue from the uniform and the glitter-ridden makeup that sat pretty on my face.

"It looks like we've got scouts in the audience, important people are here shadowing the talent tonight. Stakes are high for our Morello resort skaters."    

The lights started dimming, I fluttered my eyes open to get one last look at the crowd. It roared with adornment, but I knew there was only one person up there I wanted to see. Quickly, I scanned it thoroughly, reliving the shitstorm of a day it was. With the absence of those iconic soothing green eyes, the pit in my stomach grew.

A certain shade of green. It was all I could fixate on amongst all the grey. Those bright emerald irises, drowning in unrequited emotion, a beautifully sore thumb. If I could, I'd count my days having that stare back at me.

Fuck. What I'd give to read his mind. It felt like he already read mine, so painfully well.

Ouch.