🔞5EX: SUSTAINED OBLITERATION🔞

When do we leave?

"WHAT?! Are you telling me that I either get sued for everything I have and more, or I give up my entire life and career to come to Australia with you? For a year??!!"

"That's about the sum of it, yep!" Noah says quietly from beside me. He seems embarrassed and uncomfortable. I get the feeling this is not his idea.

"That's ridiculous. I have friends, I'd have to give notice at work, I have a mortgage to pay, I can't just sod off to the other side of the world on a whim" I almost yell

"Ok, then we're done here. See you in court" Yanni spits and stalks out of the room, muttering expletives under his breath.

Parker gets up from the couch opposite us and comes and sits on the floor in front of me, placing his hands on my knees. Oh Christ, Parker from 5EX has his hands on my knees! In any other circumstances that would be a dream come true, however, not in this situation.

"Sydney, most of us don't want to drag you through court and ruin you, we know how hard it is to establish a career in a competitive market like yours, but we do all have serious concerns about some of what you've written under the guise of fiction. Come on" he cajoles, "you know how powerful the written word can be. One sentence can start an avalanche of speculation that can ruin lives. As a writer you have an amazing ability, we've all read your stuff and agreed that we wanted you to write our story. Yanni is the main driving force behind the court proceedings, infact I think he'd prefer you to refuse our offer actually, but we are all prepared to take that legal route if needs be, such are our concerns. Come on...... we can sort out your home and work issues. Ferdinand has already approached your boss and asked them to release you on sabbatical and pay your mortgage company directly. There's no reason to say no, and this time next year your life goes back to normal. What do you say? Come with us?!"

As simple as that. 'Come with us'. I cannot believe this, I'm expected to just step out of my life and travel to the other side of the world and live full time with 5 strangers. It's insane. I'm also bloody livid they've organised my entire life for me. How long has my boss known about this? Why didn't he give me a heads up? I'll be having words with him!

At that moment the main door opens and Eloise struts in, her heels striking the beautiful hardwood floor like a hammer on an anvil. Her face drops when she sees me there.

"Oh fuck no! This is her?!" She sighs, waving her tiny bejewelled hand in my direction.

Jimmie nods and Eloise groans loudly, like a petulant child,

"Ohhhhhh goooodddddd! Lucky me, getting to spend a year with little Miss Bullshit! Great!"

"Weeze, she hasn't agreed to the deal yet" Jimmie tells her quietly.

"Oh really? Good. I'd much rather see her in court" she snaps, her eyes boring into mine, her lips pulled back in disgust.

"What the hell is your problem?" I ask her angrily.

"You!! You are my fucking problem! We've heard nothing but your name for months now and I'm sick to death of you already. You've made my work life hell, putting out the fires you have started all over the place, threatening legal proceedings against more than one publication to prevent reporting of  your bullshit stories as fact, trying to keep these boys, especially Yanni from going public to deny all claims. You're shit doesn't deserve recognition and I won't allow the guys to lower themselves and give credence to it. I would love to never hear your name again, and the thought of spending 12 long months in your company is about as welcome as falling naked onto a cactus, but if it means that we can finally forget you ever existed then I'm all for it, just don't expect me to be friendly!" she snarls

"Weeze, you're never friendly...... to anyone!" Parker tells her with a sigh as she turns and leaves the room with a huge huff.

"Well, thanks for your dazzling character review Eloise, I appreciate it. Oh, and you've just helped me make my decision" I say as I stand and smooth down my jeans with my palms which are, surely coincidentally, pretty clammy.

"When do we leave?"

Jimmie places both his hands over his mouth and actually makes a squealing sound, Parker beams and Noah releases a ragged breath.

"In a few hours. Food should be delivered any minute, let's eat and I'll fill you in on the plans, ok babe?!" Jimmie replies excitedly. Anyone would think I'd just given him the most amazing gift ever. I nod and manage to summon a weak half smile. What have I agreed to?
My head is full of so many thoughts that I can't focus on a single one. I decide I will just quietly listen when Jimmie begins to explain the plans.
We enter the dining area just as there is a knock on the main door. Eloise, who has now thankfully removed her annoyingly loud shoes opens it and allows a member of hotel staff entry. The pretty young lady pushes a trolley into the room that has 3 shelves, all full of what look like takeaway containers, and begins placing them, along with crockery and cutlery onto the huge and imposing glass table. She seems incredibly nervous, and is shaking so hard she drops a container onto the floor, spilling the contents all over the rug beneath the table. She inhales sharply and tears immediately spring into her eyes.

"I am so sorry sirs, please forgive me. This is a new job, I've never served anyone famous before, and you're my favourite band, I'm so nervous! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" she repeats

"No worries sweetheart, there's plenty there, we won't miss one container, don't sweat it" Parker tells her sympathetically. Noah is already scooping the contents from the rug back into the container and Teddi has brought some towels to wipe up the vivid orange sauce. Jimmie, who had left the room returns and hands what looks like a cd to her telling her it's a small gift for her, their new and currently unreleased album, signed by all 5 of the band members. I have never seen a frown turn upward so rapidly in my life. The previously devastated young girl literally spins on the spot, clutching it to her chest and beaming one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen. She cannot say thankyou enough, and follows along beside Jimmie as he guides her back to the main entrance door with a hand on the small of her back, kissing her gently on the cheek and wishing her a goodnight. He turns that megawatt smile on her and I swear I see her knees give way a little as he closes the door on her.

"Fans! We love them, but sometimes it gets a bit tiresome" he tells me as he returns to the table and begins opening up the containers.
Yanni strides into the room having changed his clothes into casual sportswear. I hate to admit it but he looks hot! He is my favourite member of the group, and physically the most attractive in my humble opinion, but since meeting him I have realised that looks can be deceiving. He always seems so kind, friendly and genuinely happy during concerts and TV appearances, but clearly he is a very good actor. So far he has been an utter bastard, the reality a huge disappointment to me. Well, they do say 'never meet your idol'. Now I know why.
Jimmie indicates I sit and hands me a plate and cutlery, telling me to dig in as we have a very long flight ahead of us soon. I do as instructed and gaze at the ridiculous quantity of food, trying to decide what to eat. I am starving, but eating under the scrutiny of these people, Eloise and Yanni in particular, fills me with dread and anxiety. I spoon a little rice and some glazed chicken and broccoli onto my plate as Teddi places a tray of glasses of red wine onto the already heaving tabletop, handing a glass to everyone and suggesting a toast.

"To a fruitful, fun and productive year ahead!" he says cheerily.

"Pfffft!!" Yanni and Eloise say in unison. Parker, Noah and Jimmie raise their glasses and repeat Teddis toast while I sit silently and motionless, trying to make sense of this entire day.