🔞5EX: SUSTAINED OBLITERATION🔞

Can we talk!?

The guys are all in the lounge together when I enter the room, the film 'SEVEN' playing on the TV, watched only by Teddi and Parker who are snuggled up together, Parker with his head on Teddis lap, Teddi running his fingers aimlessly through his boyfriends hair. Jimmie is trying to engage a very subdued Yanni into a conversation but appears to be failing miserably, and Noah is busily typing away into his phone, concern or maybe panic on his face.

I have left my hold-all in the shoe cupboard by the front door, hoping that nobody wants to go out before I leave in a couple of hours time. I've not packed much as I intend to stay at my own house so all my clothes are there, besides, it's -2 degrees at home right now, so nothing I have here is appropriate. I'll get some very odd looks walking along the streets of London in a bikini and flip flops!

I call a general hello to the room and Yannis head snaps up, the ghost of a smile on his lips.
Jimmie squeals and rushes towards me, sweeping me up into a tight embrace and jumping us up and down. He really is like a puppy, so excitable and loving.

"Sydney!!!! I haven't seen you in soooooo long! Ive missed you" he whines.

I force a laugh and remind him that it has only been a couple of days, and that's because he went home to visit his family. He continues to hug me, now rhythmically rocking us from side to side, humming an unfamiliar but very beautiful melody. He grins from ear to ear when I say as such and lets me go, telling me it is the beginnings of a new song he has written, which he hopes to record and release independently of the rest of the group.
I head to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of wine, offering everyone present a glass too, getting only one taker...... Yanni, who raises his hand and heads my way, softly thanking me as he accepts the glass and sits at the island.
Jimmie has raced off to get his song book, hoping I can help him with the wording of one of the verses and the other three guys have remained in the lounge. I busy myself with nonsense jobs, cleaning work surfaces that are already clean, checking the dishwasher and such, anything to distract me from the intense stare on Yannis face as he observes me. I have zero desire to speak to him right now, although today is not because I don't like him but rather because I don't want to have to lie to him about leaving. I don't want to discuss Lola with him and quite honestly, I'm still a little peeved that he ran off to Eloise for comfort, especially after he had basically ended their relationship the previous night. It hurt my feelings after our intimacy on the sofa, but I suppose it's understandable, he would obviously trust her. Images of the 'comfort' that she probably provided to him flash before my eyes, thoroughly unwelcome.

"You're going to rub a hole in that counter in a minute" he points out and I look down to find myself vigorously scrubbing the same area, lost in the depths of my jealous mind.

With a tight smile I return the cloth to the sink and wash my hands, spending far longer than is necessary, paying particular attention to my nail beds, web spaces and wrists, anything to avoid speaking to him.
They become visibly red and are starting to feel sore so I reluctantly turn off the tap and dry them, deciding I'm going to try and slink away with no more interaction.

No such luck. I almost make it to the doorway as I head for my room but am held back as he grips my wrist, stopping me in my tracks, gently pulling me backwards and turning me around to face him. I roll my eyes and curse under my breath, totally unprepared to converse with him.

"Sydney..... can we talk? There are things I want to say, that I need to tell you, things that I want you to understand. I need to apologise too. Jimmie told me that he had told you on our flight over that I dislike you, which is thoroughly untrue. Let me explain, please?" he begs, his eyes wide....... tear filled........ beautiful....... haunted!

My amygdala has gone into overdrive, my fight of flight response setting in hard. I feel panicked, sweaty and sick to my stomach. I want nothing more than to run away, not mentally capable of a fight right now, which is precisely what I tell him.

Sighing loudly I respond, "Yanni, I don't have the energy for that conversation right now. Can we put a pin in it and discuss it another time!? I think it might be sensible for us to take some time to think about the entire situation before we talk. Please....... let's not do this now" I suggest, removing my wrist from his hand and walking away. He lets me go, and his eyes follow me closely as I head up the stairs until I am out of sight.

Breathing a sigh of relief as I reach my room I flop backwards onto the bed and am surprised to realise that tears are silently falling down towards the bed, pooling in my ears on their way. The tap on my door a few minutes later startles me, and before Jimmie announces himself my stomach drops as I pray that it isn't Yanni the other side, then remind myself of his comment on 'Boob flashing day' about not being polite enough to knock and breathe a sigh of relief, it won't be him. I call out to invite him in and we spend the next hour or two side by side on my bed, altering the wording and order of his lyrics until he is happy.
I chuckle at his excitement as he rushes from the room to show the song to Yanni, whose approval means so much to him. I check the time and worry that I'm going to struggle to leave the house without anybody noticing. I'll need to leave in less than 2 hours for the airport and everyone is currently wide awake and congregated in the room I have to pass through to get to the front door. My plan is to call a cab to meet me at the small shop around a ten minute walk from here, I just need to get out unseen.

Ninety minutes later I tip toe downstairs and find the lounge empty. I send up a silent Thankyou and continue to creep closer to the front door. Looking to my right I notice that the light above Yannis studio is lit indicating someone, presumably him, is inside. Retrieving my bag from the cupboard I tentatively pull on the front door handle, a small squeak emanates as I inch it ever wider which sounds deafeningly loud in this large, empty hallway. I make it through the door, softly closing it behind myself and hurry along the driveway, only releasing the breath I've been holding once I reach the main road.