🔞5EX: SUSTAINED OBLITERATION🔞

I'm ready!

He is as striking as ever, long lean body filling his Navy Dior suit perfectly as he approaches me and places his briefcase down, sending me a tight smile and sitting opposite me, asking me how I am doing.

"Hi Ferdi. Thanks for coming, I really appreciate it, I don't know any lawyers other than you. Just tell me how Yanni is please, is he ok!?" I whisper as the Prison Officer passes by and Ferdi opens his case, taking papers out and handing some to me, then placing the rest on the table between us.

"Sydney, he is fine. He is worrying about you too. Please have a look at page 2 in the pack first. It'll take you a few minutes to read and digest, here's a pen incase you need to make your own notes in the margins. I'll give you some time and go and get us both a coffee" and he strides off in the direction of the concessionary. I hope he buys some biscuits, I'm starving to death in here.

Turning to page two in the packet of papers and picking up the pen incase I do need to make any notes, I focus my eyes and find he has already made some notes of his own. I begin reading.........

'Hi Syd.
I'm ok, don't worry about me. I don't know what you remember but it doesn't matter, just as long as you know this:  I LOVE YOU.
I'm sorry I was such a gigantic douche that night. I was an idiot. It was the best night of my life. It was amazing!
Ferdi will take care of you, just trust him and you'll be fine. Don't worry about anything or anyone, we are all fine. I will see you very soon,
Yours forever,
Y xx'

A few short lines scrawled in the margin of a bail application have made me happier than I've felt in a very long time, but you wouldn't know it to look at me, hot tears are dripping from my chin and landing on the paper, blurring the ink but not diluting the meaning of the words. He is thinking of me!!
He is ok, Laura is ok.....thank god, but I need to know what's going on, what do I say when I'm interviewed? I'm sure I should tell the truth but I'm worried that I may say something that hurts one of them. I'd love to know what the police are saying? It's clear they suspect me, and I assume that I am here because a man is dead and I'm a little bit broken!

Ferdi returns with two paper cups of brown water masquerading as coffee....... and a packet of Bourbons. I love this man! The coffee he can keep..... the biscuits another story!

"How are you doing Sydney? Do you need anything?" he questions while shuffling papers into a stack

I shake my head, the only things I want he is unable to give me.

"So, what's going on Ferdi? Is anyone else in jail? Are my parents ok? They won't tell me anything, they keep telling me that I need to remember the night myself to make sure I'm a reliable witness?! I don't want to make things worse for anyone. I'm scared........ what if I say the wrong thing?" I stress

"My advice is to tell the truth, everything you remember, hold nothing back!! Sometimes the simple act of speaking out loud about something can help with memory recovery, so things will probably come to you as you go on. Nothing you can say will cause harm to anyone else, despite what they are telling you. They want you to corroborate the history they already have. You're being held under section 3 of the Mental Health Act, which means you could be detained for a period of up to six months. My understanding is that your refusal to speak has been partly to blame for why you remain here. If you're agreeable I will let the police know that you are ready to talk to them. The sooner you do that the quicker you get out of here" he replies very matter of factly.

"Sure, whatever I need to do.
Ferdi, what's going on with the Lola Livingstone case?! The only reason I came to the UK was to do some research into that case and I've been here in jail for weeks now. Laura told me she was finding it tough to keep my name off of the suspect list. I need to go in and talk to them. Can they come here and see me? WAIT!!!" 

My stomach turns over, I begin to perspire and watery saliva floods my mouth. I vomit up the four Bourbons I've just eaten, all over the floor. Shit!

"How did he know?" I mutter, wiping my mouth with my sleeve, eyes wide and a cold film of sweat on my forehead.

"How did who know what?" Ferdi raises an eyebrow and picks up his pen, poised to make notes.

"Harry! How did he know I was there? How does he know where I live? How does he know? Oh...... no.......  he knows where I live!
I'll have to move, I love my house.... fuck! I can't stay there now!"

"Calm down Sydney. Tell me what you are talking about. What does Harry know, and who is he?"

I fill him in on my history, skimming over the details of Harry's torment, other than to say that he regularly abused me, and had threatened my life in the past. Ferdi makes notes, asks a few further questions then begins to pack his case.

I write a note on the bail application form, thanking Ferdi for playing postman as I do. I tell Yanni that I am also fine, very bored, extremely hungry and missing him and the Australian sunshine, then continue......

'I'm sorry I sent you to the spare room. I am an impulsive, stubborn and somewhat volatile woman, you'll get used to it, if you want to?!
I can't help but think that none of this might have happened if we had been together all night. We'd probably have finished with the Lola situation and be back home where we could spend so much time getting to know each other better. I know I will see you soon, and I'm looking forward to that day,
Much love
S 💜 xx'

A message scribbled in the margin of a legal document is not the way I want to tell him that I love him, so I avoid writing it. I'll tell him in person, when I decide if that's really true.
I hug Ferdi and apologise for the impromptu chocolate fountain earlier and he chuckles, reminding me to be honest in my interview, the police apparently having a likely scenario they are just wanting to confirm.

"Ferdi, can you please ask the police to come and see me. I want to tell them about that night. I'm ready!"