🔞5EX: SUSTAINED OBLITERATION🔞

'D2'

Syd POV

"Let's get the Dr in here to see you first Syd, maybe wash up a bit, hmmm?!" Laura suggests as I struggle to sit up, my entire body protesting the action loudly.

"NO! Now Laura.... I need to see him now. Please!? Help me?" I plead, tears spilling down my face, partly due to the crippling pain I'm in, but mainly because of the overwhelming feelings I'm experiencing... Joy that he is alive, desperation to see he is ok with my own eyes, absolute fury towards Harry and The Six, and enormous fear! Fear that he will turn his back on me, after all, if he hadn't met me he wouldn't be in this state right now. I'm dangerous. He deserves better. He deserves to be safe. He doesn't deserve me!

Laura looks away from me and I follow her gaze, shocked to find Noah sitting beside my bed, quietly observing us both. My stomach turns over, my skin immediately becomes clammy and my heart rate increases to an unsustainable rate. If I don't calm down I'm going to have a seizure! Laura presumes I am in pain and heads out of the room to find a nurse to give me some pain relief, leaving Noah and me alone. I can't believe she has left me alone with him!

"Sydney, let me explain!" he begins earnestly, leaning towards me and placing his hand on my bed. I flinch at the movement and his closeness to me, and he withdraws his hand and places it back in his lap, a haunting sadness on his face before he lowers his gaze to his intertwined fingers.

"Noah, I'm not ready for this right now. I need to see Yanni, to see that he is ok for myself. We can talk another time, ok? Please... let's just leave it for now" I reply wearily, too tired in body and mind for the conversation we need to have. He betrayed me, put me in harms way, and Yanni too. Of course I want to know why, but it can wait for another time. I'd like for Yanni to be with me when Noah regales me with the reasons for his actions as he makes me feel safe, and he deserves to know what's going on too..... what almost got him killed!

"Please?! I need to get this off of my chest. It's eating me up. I have to tell you why I did what I did" he continues, his words catching in his throat as he speaks.

I muster every iota of strength I have and swing my legs around until they are dangling over the side of the bed and I am face to face with him. Through gritted teeth, partly in response to the immense pain that simple action has caused, but mainly to stop myself from yelling like a banshee, I answer him with a simple but firm "NO". He seems to get the message and nods at me, hanging his head and again looking at his hands, his fingers now dancing nervous circles on his thighs before looking back at me with a sad smile and another nod.

"Ok Sydney. When you're ready. For now, let me help you up and into this wheelchair and I'll take you to Yanni" he says with a sorrowful
smile.

I thank him but insist I can manage. I don't want to be reliant on others, especially him. I want to get out of here as soon as possible, my recent stay in prison not a distant enough memory yet. Expending every ounce of energy I have I push myself to stand, my thigh muscles on fire, my heart pounding like a jackhammer and sweat beading on my forehead with the effort. Every inch of my body screeches in pain, tears again threaten to spill down my cheeks and my lungs seem to be refusing to expand and contract effectively. The lack of a sufficient quantity of oxygen makes my head swim and I stumble forwards with a yelp. Noah swiftly reaches out and catches me before I hit the floor.
Goosebumps immediately cover my skin and a huge wave of nausea hits me hard at his touch.
As Noah guides my fragile body into the wheelchair I wonder if my physical response to his touch is because it's HIM that's touching me, or whether ANY touch from a male will elicit the same response after recent events. Deciding there and then that I will NOT let Harry and his cronies ruin intimacy for me for the rest of my life I squash down the feelings of nausea and fear and curtly thank Noah for his help.