🔞5EX: SUSTAINED OBLITERATION🔞

Nature over Nurture

My meeting with Roni continued, her telling me that she was sure that Harry would be going away for a very long time regardless of her sons murder, so had decided to keep her proof to herself for such a time as he became eligible for parole. If that ever happened she would hand it over at that time to keep him in jail for longer. I had to admit, I liked her style. She told me she felt justice was being served because they were both in prison, she didn't need it to be in her son's name!

I can't imagine how heartbroken she must feel to have tried so hard to protect her child from evil for so long, only to lose him to it eventually anyway.
How rage filled, vengeful and crazy a person can become without anything to tether them to sanity, with no reason left to live.

"You had a terrible life with Harry, I saw your interview after Billy was murdered. I found so many comparisons between what I endured with Henry, and what you talked about with Harry. If you're anything like me you only acknowledged about 50% of what you actually experienced at his hands though. Imagine if you'd had a child with him? What would you have done? I couldn't abort him, he was still my baby, and I really thought that nurture would triumph over nature, but I was wrong. Nature always wins."

This is a question I have pondered over the years, always concluding that I'd run and bring up my child alone. Exactly what she did.
I'm grateful that was never the case for me, and feel a surge of sympathy for the woman who has lost even more than me at the hands of the Hartwell men.
I grip her hand and she looks startled, but doesn't pull away from my grasp.

"I'm sorry that your son ever found his father Roni, and even more sorry he found his brother." I tell her with sad sincerity.

"Is that why you tried to have him killed? Harry? For killing your son" I ask quietly, ensuring nobody can hear us as I do.

She lets out a raucous laugh, throwing her hands up with glee and drawing the attention of many around us, much to my dismay, the current topic of conversation not exactly fodder for the masses!
Her face instantly falls, completely expressionless and her eyes glaze over.
She is terrifying in her stillness, lost inside her mind for a few seconds before she returns to the now and smiles at me.

"Sydney, I didn't try to have him killed! Please! Do you think I want that for him? You wound me. No, that was just a message. That I know what he did, that I know where he is and that I can get to him whenever I want to. My man was specifically instructed to inflict a serious but survivable injury on Harry. He did a great job didn't he! I'm so pleased. I got more than I could have imagined. When I heard that he'd never be able to speak clearly again I cried tears of joy. What a bonus!" She chuckles, clapping her hands together infront of her sizeable bosom.

"Can you imagine the perpetual fear of being in an enclosed environment, reminded frequently that you're being watched, knowing you are vulnerable to attack without warning at any moment?
THAT........ that is what I wanted for him! Absolute and all consuming terror, every minute of every day, forever!
Finding out he will have absolutely no way of raising the alarm was just the icing on the cake. I'm happy with what I got for my money." She says flippantly, finishing her 3rd drink with an enormous smile.

I had lived exactly that, every day of my marriage! Having seen Harry so anxious and jittery before the attack I'm convinced that her threats were getting delivered to him, and actually seeing him bleeding out on the floor, witnessing the sheer terror on his face as the lights of life flickered behind his eyes...... he  too now knows fear. He knows terror. He understands vulnerability. He is now a victim.
I wonder how long he will survive, both the torture of his tormentors, but also the persistent fear in his own mind.
I'm not sorry that he'll feel that way, he deserves everything that is coming to him.

"Roni, I can't condone what you've done, but I won't condemn you either. I'm not sorry Harry will suffer. I can never begin to understand how utterly soul destroying losing a child must feel, in any circumstance, especially at the hands of his brother and at the urging of his own father, and I'm sorry for all your suffering and loss. I can totally understand your need for retribution, I had many thoughts of causing physical harm to Harry. I want you to know that I will of course forget this conversation ever happened as soon as I leave this hotel."

I smile as I stand to leave, dropping some cash on the table for the drinks, knowing she understands that her secret is safe with me. I will never give her up.
Harry will finally be punished  for what he is, and suffer for what he has done.
I wonder with a smirk what she has planned for Henry!

"Goodbye Roni." I smile at her and she returns my words with a smile of her own.

We are somewhat kindred spirits, both exploited and abused, both attempting to make our way in the world post Hartwell men, Roni with her malice and violence, her need for revenge certain to consume her.
I don't want that life.

I plan to forget the Hartwell men, Billy and Roni ever existed.

I plan to have a happy life in Australia with Yanni!

I leave the hotel feeling so much lighter, joy in my heart at my new life ahead. I can't wait to get back to Yanni and tell him that today is D-day.
Today is the first day of our life together where the trauma of the past won't be hanging over us, it's hold over me no more.