her ocean eyez

chapter 11

I woke to Billie's voice. She was humming a melody lightly, stopping and starting over  and I could faintly make out the scratch of a pen on paper. I rolled over, my eyes heavy still from sleep and attempted to find Billie in the moonlight. She was in the living area, the double door of my bedroom open. She sat, criss-crossed applesauce on the white couch, her beat-up journal on her knee, a pen in one hand, tapping the page thoughtfully as she sang a tune, shook her head and crossed something out. I watched her, the fog from sleep still clearing and smiled softly. She's so in her element when she's writing. I noticed she'd opened the window, so the waves could be heard and a warm breeze would pass through occasionally, blowing her hair lightly. She bit her lip, smiled and sang a new version of the lyrics. I listened and watched intently as she wrote them down, scribbling something next to it. I thought better than to interrupt and soon I was dozing back off to sleep, her voice playing in soft and whimsical loops until I was fast asleep.

"You write something last night?" I asked, sitting on the couch opposite from her, my back against the arm rest.

"Yeah...we'll see." Sometimes she'd tell me what a song was about, other times she wouldn't. I never pressed, considering I did the same with my songs, but I was always deeply interested in hers, the way she wrote was so opposite to me. It was all thought, feeling and connectivity, the pages of her journal littered with lyrics, morose one-liners, images from nightmares, pencil-drawn faces or scribbles of fog. She was someone I don't think I'd ever find not interesting.

She shifted so she could lay on me and I instinctively wrapped my arms around her, her head against my chest. She laughed.

"What?" I asked.

"Your heart sped up." She teased.

I rolled my eyes, but felt myself blush a little. "Yeah, so what?" I said defensively, making her giggle. "Maybe you make my heart race, fuck you."

"So," She said, picking up a candle from the table. "What're we doing today?" She gave the candle a sniff before setting it back down.

"Whatever you want." I said.

She giggled. "Whatever I want."

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes. "Statement revoked. We are going to the beach."

She sat up and turned to face me. "You are so persistent."

"It's working though." I teased. "You can't tell me the beach isn't growing on you."

"Maybe-"

"Ha!" I fist pumped the air and stood, offering a hand to help her up. "I knew it."

She sighed as she took my hand. "Only because it's with you."

"Awwww-"

"Shut the fuck up." She disappeared into my room as I trailed behind. I grabbed a pair of shoes as Billie pulled out her phone. I heard her sigh.

"What?" I moved so I was next to her on the edge of the bed.

"Fans." She said. She handed me her phone open to a post from a fan account. It was a picture of Billie and I leaving Zoe's yesterday, Billie's arms were wrapped around me as we said goodbyes to Drew and Zoe on the front porch. I read the caption.

You cannot tell me they aren't together. Bil please confirm

I tapped on the comments and scrolled through. "They know." She said.

"They don't." I kept scrolling. "They suspect, but they don't know."

"Yeah, well it's enough for my label to know." She said, frustration lacing each word.