her ocean eyez

chapter 13

"Y/N it's just not a good idea." I heard the tired voice state from the other side of the phone.

"Look, I know. But you have to trust me." I was pacing my kitchen, the phone in one hand, the other running through my hair. "I'll be on strict vocal rest and nothing too crazy." I was desperately trying to convince my manager, Matthew, to let me go to Billie's first show. I knew he wouldn't like it, but I needed to be there. For Billie.

"You'll have to be on a plane the next morning to get to rehearsals. You'll have stage setup and sound run-throughs that whole week. That's not even to mention the press you'll have that Friday. And you have a studio appointment with a couple of producers on Monday and the show is Tuesday." I rolled my eyes as I listened to him list off my schedule. I love what I do, but it's exhausting to have my manager rattle off the shit I need to do almost every other day.

"Matthew," I stopped him before he could continue. "I know I'm busy. I get it. But I swear to you I'll be well-rested, bright and chipper for every rehearsal and press event." I could hear him hesitate on the other line. "When have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?" I was laying it on thick.

"What's so important about this show, anyways?" He wasn't being snarky. It was an honest question and probably one I should've expected. I hadn't really thought about what to tell my management. They were different from Billie's, meaning they wouldn't care, but Billie's management might be a complication. I quickly shuffled through the list of answers I could give him, but let out a sigh. I was resigned to level with him, give him the truth. Matthew had found me in a little karaoke club when I was sixteen and believed in me ever since. He'd morphed into a sort of family figure that I never really had growing up. He's the guy in my corner at every label meeting, the protector at every press event, the last line of defense before my emotions bubble over and maybe I can't quite take it anymore. However, he's just as much the guy to tell an ill-timed joke as he is the one to tell me off for doing dumb shit. I owed him the truth.

My shoulders slumped, letting the animated persona of persuasiveness melt away. "Okay, long story short.." I hesitated. How do I explain? "I met Billie at Coachella, right?"

"Yeah." He'd been following the posts online.

"The rumors may not be that far off." I paused, trying to gauge whether that sank in or not. "We've kind of been seeing each other."

"What? Dude that's fucking sick!" Relief coursed through me. "I'm happy for you Y/N"

"Thanks, Matthew." I chuckled at his excitement.

"Have you talked to Sindy yet?"

"No." Sindy was my publicist. "That's the thing. If we could keep this between us for now. Billie's management won't let her be...out" Saying it out loud felt strange, and the idea that I was dating in secret felt foreign as I said it.

"Oh." There was silence as I waited for him to speak again. He didn't.

"I know."

"I don't know how we handle that."

"Yeah." Each word felt a little more solemn. I hadn't really talked about Billie and me to anyone besides Dakota, let alone a relatively parental figure. It felt childish to describe but heavy at the same time.

"You don't need me to tell you this probably won't end well." His voice was gentle, but he sounded worn out.

I flinched. "What do you mean?" I was getting defensive without really meaning to.

"Y/N" His tone was a little incredulous. "I've never heard a story of people dating in secret ending well. Let alone celebrities dating in secret. You guys have eyes on you at all times. Especially Billie, she's on the rise right now and that's obvious to anyone in the industry. People will be watching."

"I know Matthew!" I threw up my free hand in exasperation. "I don't need a lecture, alright?" I ground out, irritated.

"Look, don't take this the wrong way. I'm just trying to look out for you." He was right. I didn't want to admit it, but he was. This thing with Billie either ended in a breakup or the world knowing, there wasn't another option. I felt unease begin to creep up into my throat. Billie and I hadn't really talked about it much, and I knew neither of us wanted to.

I sighed. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Listen, I'll let you go to the show-"

I flooded with immense gratitude toward him. "Thank you, thank you-"

"Hang on, hang on" He laughed a little. "I wasn't finished." I smiled a little in spite of myself. "I'll let you go, but you have to be on that flight first thing Thursday. You cannot miss it. And I want no complaining the whole week."

"Okay."

"None. Got it?"

"Yes sir." I was fighting the smile that was pulling up at the corners. I didn't think he'd say yes.

"Alright. I'll let Amy call you with flight details." Amy was my agent.

"Okay. Thanks, Matthew, love you brother."

"I'll see you next week."

I hung up and slumped against the kitchen counter, I felt the giddiness bubble up and I let out a shout. "Hell yeah!" I was going with Billie to see her first show of tour. Damn. That's fucking sick.

I pulled out my phone and tapped on Billie's name. It rang once before her voice rang out.

"Hiii"

I grinned. "Hey."

"What's up?"

"Sooo, guess what?" I was smiling big and she could tell.

She laughed lightly, making my heart jump. "I don't know, bitch. What?"

"I called Matthew today and-"

She cut me off, loud and obnoxious in the way I loved. "You can come to my show?" I could hear her eagerness through the phone and I laughed.

"He said yes."

The shout that came through the other end of the phone was so loud I had to pull it away from my ear. "YAYAYAYAY"

I giggled and waited for her to calm down a bit. My cheeks flushed a little, feeling a little sheepish. "I think someone has a crush on me." I teased.

"Bitch, yeah the fuck I do."

I laughed. "Good thing I like you too."

"You should come down tonight" Her family was scheduled to leave tomorrow for San Francisco.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. Why not?"

She laughed, light and airy, making me smile. "Okay. I'll see you tonight. Text me when you're leaving."

"I'll see you later."

"Bye." I hung up, my face red and my cheeks sore from the smile that sat stubbornly on my lips.

In a little over an hour, I was barreling down the I-5 headed north towards Los Angeles in my clunky Corolla.