Luke x Reader (JATP) - barely editing anymore

chapter 44

luke's pov

i know i fucked up and i can't believe i did something to stupid. i didn't mean to say everything but i just couldn't believe how many secrets she was keeping from me. it was as if everything she said to me was a lie.

i thought i was doing the right thing, letting her know that i was there for her, but i think i fucked up when all i was trying to do was show i cared.

i couldn't help but wonder how she was doing without me.

the days started to escape from me as nothing changed.

the first week away from y/n:

as i was laying down staring at my ceiling, i got lost in my thoughts. i knew nothing much ever happened between us, but she was everything to me and if something were to happen to her because of my stupidity, i would never be able to forgive myself. as silly as it sounds, she was my everything, over the numerous months i got closer to her than anyone else. her intelligence yet stupidity at the same time. her elegance. her independence. her passion, but most of all how much she cared for others. i think that's what i would say i loved most about her. no, not loved, i don't believe i love her yet, not at all. that's what i liked most about her. she was incredible and beautiful in more ways than one.

her personality and beauty were truly one of a kind. i have no idea as to why i said all that in front of everyone. if i simply stayed quiet everything would've been okay. she would've been in my arms right now.

i didn't even want to start thinking about what i would do if something happened to her. it would be all my fault, i needed to protect her but i couldn't, i was never there to protect her.

the fourth week away from y/n.

four. weeks.

a whole fucking month passed and still not a word. she's been collecting all my notes but every time one goes missing i seem to be out. i haven't been able to see her in four fucking weeks. she's been ignoring me to say the least. i've began to grow sick of it. as i lay in my bed yet again staring at the ceiling above me i couldn't help but continue to get lost in my thoughts.

i began to think of how i would feel if something ever actually did happen to her. i wouldn't be there to help her. i was never quite there for her. all those nights when she helped me, but not one did she ever ask for anything in return.

the sixth week away from y/n

i think things have began to get better. not for my relationship with y/n, but alex and reggie mentioned how i've been doing much better lately. i couldn't help but let my mind wander to past memories of the two of us.

how her hair was always so silky and shiny. how her beautiful e/c eyes reflected in the moonlight when we went on late night picnics. how her beautiful lips tasted on mine. two pieces like a puzzle fit perfectly together.

slowly my thoughts started changing to those few nights when alex and reggie were out. those few nights when it was as if nothing else mattered in the world. just the two of us right there in the moment. those few nights when i told her she meant everything to me and those few nights when i promised her nothing would ever harm her.

i really hoped i could keep that promise.

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um so yea sry this took so long ive been literally so busy lately but i hope u like it!!

REMEMBER TO DRINK WATER AND JF ITS NICE FO OUTSIDE FOR SOME FRESH AIR!!!

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