A/n: Warning possibly triggerin (If you need you can always message me) x
Two days of pain had passed, i didn't leave my room. Even through all Jaspers begging. I couldn't leave, i couldn't escape this heartbreak. I needed to just forget about the world..
"Maddie" i heard japers voice tap on my door, his tone seemed croaky like he was about to give up. I wiped the stained tears on my cheeks, and ruffled my hair. "Maddie?" he repeated.
"Please go away" i mumbled.
"What fucking happened!?" he questioned, with concern. I watched as the door handle jiggled. "Madison unlock the door!"
"I'm fine, just leave me alone" i replied bluntly, i felt so dead inside. My room was spinning, my head was pounding. Why'd i ever believe that things would get better.. Nothing ever works out for me. As soon as i'm happy it disappears, fades into a storm of depression.
"Maddie!" Jasper groaned. I rolled my eyes, swinging my door open.
"What!" i snapped. He starred at me with hurt.
"What happened?" he whispered, wiping the tears from my cheeks.
"Nothing.. I'm fine, like always I'm fucking fine! Because like I said Jasper anyone i've ever fucking cared for leaves, so whats the point?" i asked with a smart ass tone with anger in my eyes.
"Madd... Please, wh- why, what, what happened?" Jasper stuttered. He looked worried, and the glimmer in his eyes were fading.
"I gotta go" i groaned, pushing past him causing Jasper to sigh deeply. I left the apartment, forcing myself not to breakdown. My hands clenched into my fists, almost making my nails cut into my palm. "Fuck" i screamed, falling to the floor. I felt tears dribble down my eyes. "Fuck Maddie, get over it!" i yelled at myself. I looked up a little shocked to see a confused Michael starring down me. I instantly stood up about to rush off. Before he grabbed my wrist causing me to almost trip.
"Maddie..." he whispered.
"What?!"
Moments later i felt two strong arms wrap around me, i smiled weakly into his chest. The comfort helped. i sighed wishing it was Luke, like the whole breakup was some nightmare. "I heard about you and Luke" he mumbled.
"Figures" i scoffed.
"I-I just don't get why? He's not like that, it confuses me so much..." Michael babbled on.
"Cause he's a lying deceiving ass" i muttered, wiping my watery eyes, before anger filled them..
"I'm so sorry Maddie, and i know sorry doesn't change anything.. But i just need you to know Luke does love you, i know it... Something happening to him, i-i wish he would tell me" Michael sighed, gliding his hands through his now blue hair.
"No! No! He fucking doesn't! Its all bloody lies. I hate him!" I lied, i wish i hated him, i really do. But i cant stop loving him, and thats what hurts the most.
i shoved past Michael. He looked at me with sympathy, but nodded leaving me in a shell of lonesome. I decided i should head to work soon, to take my mind off how hopeless this world was.
Luke's pov:
I realised how cold and dark my room had gotten. The comfort when Maddie was over, laughing and smiling brightening up my room, it was gone. All gone. After i left Maddie she seemed almost dead. The glimmer in her eyes, gone. The glow she had, had faded. And that scared me, i broke her. I ruined everything, how could i be such a horrible person. I broke the most beautiful, amazing person in my life... I don't deserve to be here. I don't deserve anything. Why'd this happen to me, why'd i have to break up with her.. It wasn't fair.
I grabbed my blade from off my table, cutting into my wrists. I sobbed, pressing deeper. "Luke" Calum's voice was faintly on the other side of the door. I tugged nervously at my jacket, covering my blood stained wrists.
"Piss of Calum" i groaned.
"Luke... Just open the door, mate. Everyones worried about you"
"No, i'm such a dick! I hate myself, i don't want to leave this room" I pleaded.
I heard a deep sigh "Luke, please, don't do anything stupid...Not again, please" i heard Calum almost sobbing.
"I won't" i whispered.
"Luke.. Thats what you said in high school, fuck.. I don't want to go through that again".
I groaned, standing up unlocking my door. A very stressed Calum stood their, he let out a sign of relief. "This isn't fair" i mumbled to myself. I just wanted to ignore the broken down world..
"Why'd you do that to her!?" i heard an angry Michael yell. He barged up the stairs, rage in his eyes.
"I just don't love her" i lied, barely getting my words out.
"Yes you do, don't even try that!"
I starred at the coloured head lad. Calum gave Michael a look to shut up, which caused Michael to roll his eyes. "Make this better Lucas" Michael mumbled, walking away.
I ignored the boy, shuffling back into my room. Slightly closing the door and collapsing onto my bed. There wasn't any noise, except the sounds of my thoughts. I couldn't get the image of what i had done to Maddie out of my mind. It was heart crushing, shutting down my mind and compressing my lungs into a small box. I just sat there. I didn't move. i couldn't feel anything, but pain and sorrow. Nothing dared to break past my shell.
I was inoculated against feeling and therefore against everything else.
Chapter 27 of Fake Love
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