New Day : Heartstrings Book2 (GOT7 Fanfic)

009

"You did well on your first stage," Youngjae told me quietly, a small smile on his face.

I felt bad. I really did.

"Thank you," I bowed.

I don't want to talk to him anymore. I can't stand seeing that expression on his face. It's hurting me...

"I.... I should go," I said, turning away.
"Why him?"

His question made me stop.

"What?" I looked back at him.
"Mark. Why him?"
"He... I think he deserves a chance,"
"So you didn't choose him because you like him?"
"It's not like that-"
"Then what? Why him? Why not me? Why not BamBam?"
"It's not like I chose him as my first choice! It's not like I like him! I wanted to give him a chance, okay?"

I wanted to say more but I made myself stop. I don't want to say things I shouldn't.

"I know Mark loves you more than I do, but-"
"Stop, Youngjae. Just... Stop."

He's making me feel even worse.

"You still like BamBam, don't you?"
"No... I don't..." I said after thinking a while. "BamBam is unlike anyone I've ever met before, but... But so are you,"

He looked at me.

"Mark asked me if I could let you go,"
"... What did you say?"
"I told him to take you. I told him to take you already so I wouldn't feel any worse,"

I was silent.

"I'm sorry, Youngjae,"

***

We just debuted but we already have a lot of schedules. I rarely came to 15& or GOT7's dorm anymore. I always stayed in ours, sleeping. Though there were times, that they'd visit. And this was one of them.

Yerin, Jimin and BamBam came.

"Idol life is hard, isn't it?" Jimin said, sitting down beside me on my bed. I nodded.
"But it's worth it..." I said softly.
"Your voice has gotten quieter...." he commented. "Tired?"

I nodded.

"Then rest," Yerin told me. I shook my head.
"I missed you guys," I stood up and hugged each of them.
"Should I call Mark over here?" BamBam suddenly asked.

I shook my head.

"No. It should be just the four of us."
"What about Youngjae?"

I shook my head.

"Don't call anyone else."

Silence.

"Where's your 'wife', Bam?" I questioned.
"What?"
"Jin... Your 'friend'.... Where is she?"
"She's going around Seoul on her own today,"

I nodded slowly.

"You're acting weird about it, Aera. Do you have any problem with Jin?"
"No."

I really didn't...

"Do you like her, Bam?"
"Who? Jin?"

Jimin nodded.

"Do you?"
"She's just my best friend,"
"And your wife," Yerin added.
"Yerin!" BamBam sighed.
"It's true. You guys are technically 'married' without the ring, proposal, wedding and all those other things married people do,"

While they talked, I stayed silent, thinking.

Did I make the right decision? Not listening to my heart and choosing Mark?

***

"Thanks for choosing me," Mark said softly.
"You don't seem happy about it..." I noticed.
"I'm happy, but Youngjae..."

It's obvious how much he cares for his members, as the oldest.

"You care so much, Mark. I like that about you,"

He gave me a slight smile.

"Are you sure about this... About choosing me?"

I nodded.

"I can't just let this year pass without giving you a chance, can I?"

A frown formed on his face.

"Is that why you choose? Because of your promise?"

Oh god.... He got it wrongly, but I can't tell him that Wendy told me...

"Partly..."
"Then why? Can you tell me why exactly?"

I shook my head.

"It's hard to explain, and it's long story, too..."
"Don't worry. I have time,"

I bit my lip.

"Please don't get mad at us..." I lowered my head, mumbling. "Wendy told me about you... And that girl..."
"Oh..."

Please don't be mad.

Please don't...

"Aera..."

I'm scared to look...

He let out a sigh and put his hand under my chin, forcing me to look up.

"Y-yes...?" I said, stuttering.
"Forget about that. It's true but forget about it. It's not something I'd like to think about and I don't think it's something you want to remember, either. But seriously? You chose me because of that? Because you pitied me? Not because you liked me?"

I feel so bad now.

"It's Youngjae, isn't it? You like Youngjae, don't you?"

I didn't answer.

I really felt bad...

"Fine," he sighed after a while. "Go to him. I don't care anymore. You picked me but you'll end up with him anyway. Why did you even bother to choose me? You should have just chosen Youngjae and saved me from all this sh*t,"

I was surprised.

This was the first time I ever heard him curse. And that was how I knew how hurt and sad he was.

"Mark..." I walked closer to him, taking his hand, but he pulled it away.
"Go," he told me. "I don't want to talk to you,"

The way he spoke...

The way he looks at me...

It hurts...

"Thank you for telling me this, but if it's just going to be like this, I think we'd better stay from each other..."

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Hi!! Is this too fast?? What do you think?? (Sorry if it's a bit angsty... I was just really annoyed with one of my classmates when I wrote this and when I write fanfics when I'm annoyed, it turns out like this...) So... How was this??