Whatever We Love Most

One Year Before

What I'll Miss Most About Volunteering:

1) Something to do

2) Spending time with the horses

3) Leading the kids that would be so chatty

4) Watching the coaches, and learning when I'm not even riding

5) The other volunteers-feeling like I belong

6) Learning about taking care of horses

7) Eating granola bars

8) Spraying people with the hose

9) Dumping a small mountain of rocks out of my shoes after leading

10) I never had anxiety

January. I had started cantering and jumping more. I was improving with my riding.

Marigold died at the end of December. She had to be put down. She could barely walk, and it would have been cruel to keep her any longer.

I found this out when I walked into the barn after the winter break. Annie was wandering around looking lost. I somehow just knew. 

I don't remember most of January or February. I got a private lesson for my birthday. I cantered-and jumped-and that's all I really remember.

I met a pony named Bear, who I loved, but not all that much. 

March Break, I volunteered for camp. I remember two kids. One wanted piggyback rides all the time and the other refused to wear a coat.

Only two days in, the barn had to close because of a pandemic. Thus began the Great Hay Race. (Basically just a competitive way for Miranda to get money to feed the horses.) I donated over a thousand dollars to Briar, over the three months.

And Blossom.

When the barn opened back up for private lessons, I rode twice a week. I began progressing even faster with my riding. 

That summer, I was at the barn almost every day. I made multiple good friends, and learned much more about taking care of horses. Through the summer, I often rode Kaya.

What I'll Miss Most About Kaya:

1) How she seemed so big until you were riding her

2) How her trot was bouncy but fun

3) The way she would sometimes pace after a turn

4) How she didn't like starting a trot but was fine once going

5) How she was so absolutely gorgeous

6) How she had an unending war with Jellybean

7) How she loved jumping

8) How she looked good in any color

9) How she would fake biting you on the crossties

10) How she was so much easier to ride outside

Near the end of July, a small pony named Blossom caught my attention. I decided to work with her until she was suitable for lessons. She was great, but not good enough. She was sold at the end of August.

What I'll Miss Most About Blossom:

1) She was adorable

2) She would always trot up to me when I entered her field

3) She was so chill

4) Her tail looked like it was bright red

5) She was slightly overweight

6) She had a star-snip combination that I've never seen on another horse

7) She was so pushy and stubborn

8) She always got so dirty

9) She was an absolute sweetheart

10) She was friendly to everyone she came across

As the school year began, I had to cut down on my volunteering. My mom thought I couldn't handle it.

And she was somewhat right, I barely talked to anyone at school, and my social anxiety got worse. But I kept riding, and that's what kept me sane.

Over the fall, I began riding Hopscotch. He was a sweetheart, but a bit too beginner for me. So I started riding Briar again.

By then, I was a more advanced rider. I could control her, though we still hit spots of trouble occasionally. But I improved every lesson, and started cantering her on a lunge line. Briar behaved wonderfully on lunge, so I wasn't worried. I wanted to canter off lunge, but that was always a NO. 

At some point, Jellybean hadn't been ridden in a couple days. She's a beginner pony, if she has a good leader, who can control her. But off lead she's a crazy animal. Speed, pushing towards the middle. Difficult for a more beginner like myself. But I offered to ride her, and I did well. I kept her slow, I stayed calm. I started riding Jellybean every week or two outside lessons.

At this point we were riding in lessons of three. Miranda decided to cancel the winter break. And I finally managed my goal for that year.