7:00 am - Sleep
8:00 am - Sleep
9:00 am - School
10:00 am - School
11:00 am - Die of boredom
12:00 pm - Make a mug cake
1:00 pm - Feel sick because of the mug cake
2:00 pm - Maybe eat lunch? If I feel like it
3:00 pm - Write some part of some book
4:00 pm - Watch Netflix
5:00 pm - Watch more Netflix
6:00 pm - Avoid eating dinner
7:00 pm - Avoid washing dinner dishes
8:00 pm - Eat three or more cookies
9:00 pm - Watch more Netflix (don't tell my mother)
10:00 pm - Try to fall asleep
11:00 pm - Read an ebook
12:00 am - Play a weird video game where unicorns have to murder other animals
1:00 am - Actually sleep
2:00 am - Sleep
3:00 am - Sleep
4:00 am - Sleep
5:00 am - Sleep
6:00 am - Sleep
...
Behold, the teenager in her natural habitat
*camera shows footage of room*
To the untrained eye, it looks like a mess. But when more carefully studied, we found that everything is painstakingly placed just so. Everything can be found, unless it can't, which is when the teenager goes crazy.
*footage of teenager throwing desk fan at wall*
This rarely seen creature has been tracked and followed for months now, and we believe we have discovered her schedule. This schedule consists of sleeping and eating.
We have found that teenagers are prone to violent mood swings, particularly anger and depression. When a teenager is angry, it becomes very dangerous, and we advise you to stay clear of them if you value your health, safety, and ego.
Occasionally the teenager will leave her habitat. We have here rarely seen footage...
*shows teenager in parents' room"
Of this teenager actually interacting with her parents.
Often teenagers can be found with other teenagers. We have found that female teenagers can be quite savage, and often fight with one another. These fights escalate quickly, and the group is often divided. The teenager we are observing, nicknamed 'Cam', often gets into hissy stand-offs with male teenagers. Often her group must pull her away and distract her to stop her from blowing up.
Female teenagers are very concerned with their looks. We have found that Cam's group is an exception. They don't give a shit what they look like as long as everyone steers clear of them.
We have found that Cam has a small group, which fits into a larger group. This is the dynamic of the species. Often, teenagers will fit themselves into ranks, such as alpha, beta, and omega. These ranks will often change.
We have found that teenagers are a very dumb species, and often engage in behavior that endangers themselves and others. This is typically the older ones.
Occasionally, all the teenagers from an area gather at one place. There is loud music and stuff.
Cam never gets invited to these.
This concludes our documentary on teenagers. Please recommend us to your friends.
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