On Top [H.S.]

Chapter 30

*TW: Panic attack*

Harry's POV

"I thought you said there weren't any fucking cameras in there!?"

I don't mean to yell at her, I know that she doesn't like it, but I can't help it. I'm so fucking livid all I see is red.

I refuse to accept the fact that a video of this caliber is out there, in the hands of people I don't fucking trust in the slightest. I know it's Victor and Denver and whoever else is a part of their fucking minion cult shit, they made that obvious with their little caption.

Cunts.

I can't believe they filmed the whole fucking thing. As soon as I yanked the phone out of Lia's grasp and saw what I did, I could feel my heart momentarily stop before it began to beat uncontrollably fast due to my fucking anger.

I don't know how the fuck they got the whole thing on film. From me sneaking up behind her when I got there, to us fooling around on the bartop, to me and her fucking on the table....they had it all. In high resolution.

The picture was so fucking clear that you couldn't deny it was us. If this ever got out we'd never be able to dismiss it as fake or misidentification. You could see our faces so clearly, along with all of my fucking tattoos.

It makes me sick knowing that they've watched it. I want to fucking vomit. I don't even want to think about how many of them have seen it, or even fucking jerked off to it.

Fucking vile.

As if today wasn't already a fucking rollercoaster as is. I was so sure she was done with me after I made that remark about Denver. I'm so fucking stupid.

I didn't realize how long I let it go on for, but I guess it was long enough to send Lia into a fucking panic. As soon as I saw her watery eyes and trembling body I knew I had fucked up.

It really did break my fucking heart that I made her feel scared, that I terrified her. She really is becoming my person for everything and I want her to be able to be like that with me.

My teddy.

I let my insecurities get the best of me when I made that vile remark. I hate that I exposed them to her, she didn't deserve that from me.

Of course she wouldn't care about what the fuck I looked like, she isn't Anna. She wouldn't refuse to go out with me in public because of a bruised face or busted lip. She wouldn't tell me how bad I looked and then proceed to tell me how shameful my career is. She wouldn't do that because she isn't Anna. She's Ophelia.

Deep down I knew that my looks weren't the fucking reason she didn't ask me to train her, but I was panicking once I noticed how upset she was and I jumped to the first excuse I could think of.

It only made me feel worse when she told me the true reason. She's too fucking nice for her own good, and at times I don't understand why she's still with me, but it makes me feel really fucking warm on the inside knowing that she cares about my well-being so much.

My sweet girl.

I was surprised she let me into the gym with her, and even let me stay over, I knew I was pushing my luck when I asked her. Fuck, I really don't deserve her. I especially don't now considering what the fuck is currently happening to us at three in the fucking morning.

I personally don't care too much about them seeing me like that. I mean it's not like I wanted them to ever see me fucking someone, or even see me naked in general, but I've got nothing to hide. If anything, they could learn from me.